Gil reminds me a lot of Arian. Now i sorta wish he was a space husbando companion.
I completely forgot this was still being worked on. I'm more excited for Gil than anything else atm. A cuntboy character isn't something I expected to be written in the game, but definitely not unwelcome. More guys to bang are always something I look forward to, even if he doesn't have the right lower bits. In fact, that's what makes him even more of a treat, a REALLY rare treat actually, because I'm pretty sure that aside from Ben, you NEVER see another cuntboy in the game at all.
I read through his doc for the first time, because I'm not exactly one to not spoil myself when it comes to submission docs. It looks pretty good thus far in my opinion, though I can't really give TOO much help with it because I'm no writer, most I can give is support. But I'll try when it comes to actual feedback. >w>'.
But regarding the 'swollen' adjective, heh yeah, I think toning it down is a start. You don't have to use it all the time when describing a canid pussy. Words like puffy too seem good, and heck I'm pretty sure lots know what a canid pussy looks like if they've seen enough anatomically correct furry porn (I have, but I get it that his lower lips are swollen, which brings me to my next point). Though sometimes maybe you don't even need the adjectives. Much like how the PC's dick isn't descripted with complex nouns all the time. It gets.. uh.. 'echo'-ish after a while of repeating it over and over again. Sometimes 'canid pussy' or just 'pussy' is good. I'm fairly certain once someone see's he's packing a canine vagina they don't exactly need to be reminded over and over about it, they'll know it's there, they'll know he's anatomically correct.
Also, I caught sight of Misty bringing up the virginity bit. I feel like as long as you don't make it.. well.. 'graphic' so-to-speak, don't mention the blood bit directly, and you should do alright with that bit.
To give Misty an example (As she said if there's similar examples already in then game then you're probably good), JimT did it with the Vanae Maiden when you have vaginal sex her and that got in just fine.
Gonna add the quote from the Vanae Maiden's scene from my own play-through because I really like being specific when it comes to quotes apparently:
Ofcourse that was back then, but it still is within the scene today, I didn't see anyone complaining about it here or in the old forums either.
I didn't see the 'Doggystyle' part of Gil's doc before the edit, so I dunno what it said before. But your new edit addressing Gil's virginity is pretty similar to this. It doesn't address the blood directly, but it's vague, and yet it's still enough to let you know you're dealing with a virgin there.
Just thought I point it out. That was pretty much the main thing that caught my attention within the doc. But all in all, I like him. c:
Gil reminds me a lot of Arian. Now i sorta wish he was a space husbando companion.
I remember that I found his devotion to the PC both cute and a bit unsettling. Just changed gender right then and there, if you weren´t interested in him as a man...
As for the topic at hand. I liked the TFs
Male x male content isn´t really my thing. (Cunt or no cunt, it´s the pronouns that makes it for me...and the feminine appearance of course. I´m not asking you to change either of those btw. Just some small rant about my limits which nobody really asked for...)
But I did find the character very interesting (10/10 would tf again ), and I do appreciate any added variety of characters, whether it´s my cup of tea or not.
Arian is a bit of a stretch, but i feel like he could fill the void as twink husbando. Perhaps where Arian was an academic, Gil could be the local artist.
This is something I didn't give enough attention during my first pass. While I really like the concept (considering the PC seems to be the only person that struggles with mods being random at the moment), I do think that 10 different times might be a little bit much to fully complete the route. But that's the kind of feedback that would be good to get from several sources, because it's highly subjective.
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]{[/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px]upper body revealed:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]His frame is exceedingly thin, without an ounce of fat or muscle visible in his belly and chest. This is especially noticeable in his hips and waist, which are as thin as they can possibly be. His shoulders are similarly narrow, but still come across as distinctly masculine. Most of his body is covered in black fur, with the exception of a large patch of orange fur that extends from his chin down to his inner thighs, with his forearms also covered in orange fur. His thin chest sports a pair of midnight black nipples, barely visible beneath the dark fur around them.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]/[/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px]else:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]His frame is exceedingly thin, and even though his baggy clothes obscures his waist, it shows. Beneath them you see that he has narrow shoulders, but still broad enough to be distinctly masculine.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]}[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]{[/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px]lower body revealed: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]You know that despite his masculine looks he doesn't have any male genitalia on his crotch. Instead he has the swollen, musky lips of a bitch, constantly dripping with his fluids. Beneath his prodigious fuzzy glutes he has a tight black asshole. A black and orange fur-covered tail wags behind him, much longer than what the tail of a doberman should be.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]/[/SIZE][SIZE=14.666666666666666px]else: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]Behind him you can see a black and orange furry tail wagging, resting between his prodigious glutes, their largeness pronounced by the skin tight jeans.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=14.666666666666666px]} [/SIZE]
1. Cosmic dildo?
2. Personal Ideal(ism)
3. I don't mind the canine pussy
1. One Cosmic Whore has a nice ring. Also works for different musical genres. Honestly I forgot if you mentioned one.
2. I think the name should include the narrative aspect in some way. No idea for a concrete name, sorry.
3. Do we have a canine pussied npc yet? If not, then please let him keep it.
4 and 5 are really up to you, but I like your picks for fur colors a lot. Orange and brown are both good, while orange is a bit more spacey.
"Fleshlight" could work as a band name.
So Gil is a dog band member who was born with a canine vagina and wants to get these special snausages to improve his body. I got it right, right?
Close. He is the son of a band member.
Alright. So what would the snausages do to make him different, exactly?
Will Gil only give money to a fem PC? Also, as your discussing his alternate payment, does he just assume everyone has a dong or will there be some sort of check? As it is, he looks like he'll walk up to anyone and say he'll give blow jobs.
Will Gil only give money to a fem PC? Also, as your discussing his alternate payment, does he just assume everyone has a dong or will there be some sort of check? As it is, he looks like he'll walk up to anyone and say he'll give blow jobs.
Variants for strap-ons? I guess there is none but I would sure love some...
He can give money to any PC, regardless of gender or genital checks.
He does assume that everyone has a dong, considering there is no way to outwardly discern the donghavingness of a character by their femininity in the TiTSverse. Which is also ironic, considering that he doesn't have one. I should probably add an "if y'have one" in that scene.
He only really offers that after he realize who the PC is. If the PC wasn't a Steele he would just offer to buy it.
I did kinda start with the intent of adding that, but then I forgot. I'll try to see if I can write those in. Hardlight penises are hard to deal with, which makes their use kinda impractical.
Anybody has any other problems with Gil they would like me to address?
Perhaps you could change it to surprise for the dickless scene? I love the irony that the one person who should have a dick but doesn't is surprised when Steele dosn't have a dick. Maybe even a additional nod if Steele is a maleherm or cuntboy.
I did kinda start with the intent of adding that, but then I forgot. I'll try to see if I can write those in. Hardlight penises are hard to deal with, which makes their use kinda impractical.
Perhaps you could change it to surprise for the dickless scene? I love the irony that the one person who should have a dick but doesn't is surprised when Steele dosn't have a dick. Maybe even a additional nod if Steele is a maleherm or cuntboy.
Guess I phrased that wrong. I was trying to ask if he wouldn't do something other then pay a fem PC. No cunilingus or tribbing I presume? I understand it might not be his thing but just wanna make sure. And what do you mean "wasn't a Steele he wouldn't offer to buy"?
I kinda like this idea. :smugdog:
I know he's a c-man but has he ever thought how it would be on the penetrating side? Usually my Steeles prefer taking than receiving.
Doesn't have to be hardlight, mind. Yes, people gravitate towards it since it's easy with panties, but traditional strapons and dildos still exist. Hell, you could even reverse roles and have Gil pitch with a strapon. Possibilities are high.
Oh cool. Well now that I know I can give him a penis I'm a lot more on board on this character.
Oh cool. Well now that I know I can give him a penis I'm a lot more on board on this character.
This. He's cute and all, and I'd gladly give him the snausages for free, but skinny rich boy? My cup of tea.