[editors needed] Nilleps' shop

[jarllee97]

So etis has helped me realize just how much I've been fucking up variation texts. So I got a lot of reformatting to do which may take a while.


side note: I was looking over the "how not to piss off gedan" doc... they would murder me if I had submitted it like this

 

[jarllee97]

So I got a partial update to the wiener sex variant.


I'm trying to get proper separation but it probably is terrible since I haven't slept in two days (unrelated to tits) But any input as to how the current variation stuff looks would be appreciated. Now I shall attempt to sleep. probably do some more work when I wake up... or give up on sleep

 

[jarllee97]

So I think I've got the proper separation for variations in the sex scenes. Also I was at the fair and just wanted to say... Buzz, Woody... what the fuck? 

 

[Krynh]

So I think I've got the proper separation for variations in the sex scenes. Also I was at the fair and just wanted to say... Buzz, Woody... what the fuck? 

Oh God. The Horror.

 

[jarllee97]

finally back at my computer so expect some updates soon, sorry for the crazy long wait.

 

[jarllee97]

So I added a scene where you can try Nillep's mystery drink. Originally I had planned for this scene to be a little silly encounter but it ended up expanding into a large character development piece for Nillep. I would really appreciate peoples thoughts on the content. Any comments or advice are greatly appreciated.


Also, as a side note. If any artists out there felt like doing a piece for Nillep that would be super chill. This would be volunteer based. (sorry I just don't pay for commissions. One too many time of people bailing out after I paid.)

 

[Xeivous]

So I added a scene where you can try Nillep's mystery drink. Originally I had planned for this scene to be a little silly encounter but it ended up expanding into a large character development piece for Nillep. I would really appreciate peoples thoughts on the content. Any comments or advice are greatly appreciated.


Also, as a side note. If any artists out there felt like doing a piece for Nillep that would be super chill. This would be volunteer based. (sorry I just don't pay for commissions. One too many time of people bailing out after I paid.)

The wording and flow of the scene feels a bit awkward at the start. Also variants for PCs who've got high alcohol tolerance and/or have the 'nuki drunk perk seems appropriate.

 

[jarllee97]

The wording and flow of the scene feels a bit awkward at the start. Also variants for PCs who've got high alcohol tolerance and/or have the 'nuki drunk perk seems appropriate.

If you're able, would you mind highlighting some of the spots that need rework? Also I'll add a branch for high alcohol tolerance and nuki perk but the result will still end up the same, so that you can still see the wake up scenes.

 

[Noob Salad]

You really shouldn't do 6 different files. Keep one doc with appropriate headings.

 

[jarllee97]

You really shouldn't do 6 different files. Keep one doc with appropriate headings.

At present I'm just doing this so people can access specific parts they would like to see. Before submission or if I feel like doing it I'll put them all in one big document.

 

[Krynh]

At present I'm just doing this so people can access specific parts they would like to see. Before submission or if I feel like doing it I'll put them all in one big document.

That's what a table of contents is for. Links to each part of the doc

 

[jarllee97]

That's what a table of contents is for. Links to each part of the doc

Fair enough. I'll make adjustments soon.

 

[jarllee97]

A small update to try and improve the drink scene

 

[jarllee97]

So I've combined all the docs into one "mostly" organized document and made some little changes.


So putting it all together I realized that this is has gotten way bigger than I originally planned and now my worry is whether it'll be too big for a first time submission or not.


None the less I'm pretty proud of what I've made, but as always I'm hoping for critique and suggestions from you folks. I'm not sure if I'll be adding anymore big pieces but if you guys think it needs more just let me know, till then I'll just be making small adjustments and corrections.

 

[jarllee97]

So another update addressing a lot of the typos and grammar sins I've committed. Also I renamed the home moon of the Zelun race because fuck Zweihäuser. I don't know why I thought that was good name. The new name is Arawn (Celtic god of the underworld.) That way its easier to remember and fits with the whole name planets after gods theme.

 

[jarllee97]

So I got bored again while making edits and wrote something (A.D.D. for the win) that will likely never be used but I wanted to show it anyways. The idea is that if Nillep gets implemented and people like her, I lined up a theoretical event to get her as a companion for your crew. Basically living under a tarp and bribing cops catch up with her and you get an email from an officer that tells you the rules of her probation and a little secret about your dads first contact with the Zelun.


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n6hJow7Jy44G_DdwzyvWrPrkfnTg7Je9JkIFVbs1q7Y/edit?usp=sharing

 

[PyrateHyena]

AHAAHAAHAA I love it. Great on too many levels.

 

[Xeivous]

I guess we had to run into a character who was somewhat distantly related to us that we could bone eventually. Also that cop thinking he'd actually be able to arrest you for anything for very much longer is adorable.

 

[jarllee97]

AHAAHAAHAA I love it. Great on too many levels.

It feels good to be appreciated

I guess we had to run into a character who was somewhat distantly related to us that we could bone eventually. Also that cop thinking he'd actually be able to arrest you for anything for very much longer is adorable.

Plot twist. The cop is one of Vics many scorned lovers and needs an outlet of aggression (AKA you)

 

[jarllee97]

So I think it's safe to say that Nillep and the tarp shop are done in their current state. What this means is no large additions will be added before submission and the only big changes will be on behalf of spelling or grammar sins. I also want to say that this doesn't mean there won't be more content in the future, if people like Nillep enough once she's in game I would be more than happy to expand upon her as a character and possible companion. Big thanks to anyone who helped me with spelling, grammar or anything else I fucked up.


That being said, it'll be a little while before I submit this and if anyone would be kind enough to point out any mistakes I missed it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[PyrateHyena]

Great to hear this is almost good to go. I took a real quick look and grammar and word chioce are looking better than the last time I checked xD I do not have the time to give it an in depth look atm, sorry.

 

[jarllee97]

So Nillep has been officially submitted to Fenoxo and I hope to get an analysis from Fen soon. At present though they're off in the greatest country in the world so I don't expect an answer for a while.

 

[jarllee97]

So Fenoxo got back to me, while they told me that they do like her I'll need to do some major editing before she's ready to be coded so I'll go through and fix any mistakes I find, but if I can get people to run through and find any major grammar mistakes, spelling errors or basic dumbassery I would be forever in your debt. Any and all comments are appreciated, hell if you feel like it you can call me names n'shit but I would love to get some feedback.

 

[Nik_van_Rijn]

OP, I would like to apologize to you for starting and abandoning the editing of the doc after just a couple of inputs not once, but two times. I would also like to promise that I will give it a thorough go either today or tomorrow, just so both of us can hold my lazy ass to that publicly made promise and not let it weasel its way out of doing this.

 

[jarllee97]

OP, I would like to apologize to you for starting and abandoning the editing of the doc after just a couple of inputs not once, but two times. I would also like to promise that I will give it a thorough go, just so both of us can hold my lazy ass to that publicly made promise and not let it weasel its way out of doing this.

No worries, half assed is still better than no ass

 

[jarllee97]

Still getting this when I can (work is being a bitch) But I would still love to get some advice from some folks on grammar and such.


On an unrelated note. New Canada... Sploosh (except with semen)

 

[jarllee97]

so I know you guys are probably tired of me posting pointless shit but I was just gonna say that i'm gonna be on the google doc for a bit (and try to be there each night around this time) that way if anyone has any questions or advice  we can discuss it live(ish). That way there's a back and forth, and I like talking to you folks.

 

[jarllee97]

So I'm not dead, but I have been having some medical issues and progress is disgustingly slow despite the fact I should have finished this a month ago. Just wanted to give you guys an update on why I have been absent quite abit. Also, I still  need people to help with editing, looking for help with spelling, grammar and sentence structure.


Any help is greatly appreciated.

 

[PyrateHyena]

Maybe I'll give it a look next week. I am no native speaker, but I got told I got a pretty good sense of english grammar and word choice. Also I read a lot and I believe that helps.

 

[jarllee97]

Hello again, sorry I was gone for awhile but I had an "incident" where my doc prescribed the wrong medication and it had some nasty side effects. I'm gonna try and finally get the grammar fixes in. Word of warning, I'm still unmedicated till I get a proper replacement so I'm lil' out of it and may appear and disappear at random. I'll be in google docs for a bit if anyone wants to hit me in the chat