[editors needed] Nilleps' shop

Xeivous

Well-Known Member
Sep 21, 2015
2,466
1,403
So I added the first erotic scene. I would like to note that this is the first time I have written erotica of this type so any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.


I would also like to note that I plan to write variations to include females, taurs, and fem taurs

Just from a first look I can tell you need variations in the scene based on cock size and cum amount. Also not all PCs with cocks have balls so that's going to need to be in a pharser.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
Just from a first look I can tell you need variations in the scene based on cock size and cum amount. Also not all PCs with cocks have balls so that's going to need to be in a pharser.

Cool, I'll make sure to adjust these
 

Etis

Well-Known Member
Creator
Aug 26, 2015
2,500
257
So I added the first erotic scene. I would like to note that this is the first time I have written erotica of this type so any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.


I would also like to note that I plan to write variations to include females, taurs, and fem taurs






 

I've made few comments in the doc. Not all of them are necessary (size and volume discrepancy are often ignored), but mentioning things you are directly lacking (or having in a different form) is quite a major problem.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
I've made few comments in the doc. Not all of them are necessary (size and volume discrepancy are often ignored), but mentioning things you are directly lacking (or having in a different form) is quite a major problem.

I'm working through the issue that you and other people have pointed out. I wanted to give you extra thanks though for pointing out where parsers go and which to use
 

Ethereal Dragon

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
2,005
560
Gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside you when you have the writer community here helping you with your project doesn't it? :D
 

BubbleLord

Scientist
Creator
Jun 24, 2016
3,969
1,153
Gave it a read-over and might do some proofreading later. But I was going to comment that if you don't want to stack your scenes to fit everyone then you can most certainly not do so. You could make a scene specifically for just A and no other letter in the alphabet, so to speak. As someone who's taking my first crack at an encounter, it's something to remember that you can always add onto it later to fit those scenes and types of characters into the smut.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
Gives you that warm fuzzy feeling inside you when you have the writer community here helping you with your project doesn't it? :D

It really does :)

Gave it a read-over and might do some proofreading later. But I was going to comment that if you don't want to stack your scenes to fit everyone then you can most certainly not do so. You could make a scene specifically for just A and no other letter in the alphabet, so to speak. As someone who's taking my first crack at an encounter, it's something to remember that you can always add onto it later to fit those scenes and types of characters into the smut.

At present I'm kind of going for my own thing. But I'm definitely gonna make stuff that I hope others will like as well.
 

Noob Salad

Captain Shitpost
Aug 26, 2015
4,374
1,559
There should be a head slot. So people can wear glasses.
 

PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
I'd like the shop to be set up on Tarkus. Crime does not seem to be that much of an issue, there is no law enforcement in the city of novahome and the locals have no problem with run-away off-worlders.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
I was bored so I wrote something for you.


https://docs.google.com/document/d/168p8i5pQapYvC9L7JFUX3KAus2qJiVl5-krllAU2acI/edit?usp=sharing


Tell me if you can use these. If yes, I'll probably write some more.

I'm really liking these hats :)  If you don't mind I'll include them on my product list

There should be a head slot. So people can wear glasses.

It'd be nice but I hate to think the work it would to program a new item slot like that

I'd like the shop to be set up on Tarkus. Crime does not seem to be that much of an issue, there is no law enforcement in the city of novahome and the locals have no problem with run-away off-worlders.

Right now the two top candidates for where she would be set up would probably be between Tarkus for the reasons you listed. And Tavros since it's a hub and easy for her to get to and to smuggle stuff in
 

PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
I'm really liking these hats :)  If you don't mind I'll include them on my product list

I've got no mind at all, but thank you :D I'd be delighted.
 

PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
Maybe put the hats in another tab (I mean an extra button next to talk and shop, or divide the shop in different categories like it is done with Aliss on Tavros), so that if you add other equippable items and transformatives the shop is not getting so crowded. Maybe you could write a short intro for the "hats-menu", where Nillep clears her counter-box and opens it to show you her collection of hats inside. Afterwards there could be another talk scene about why she likes hats so much. As always just ideas. Please ignore at will.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
Maybe put the hats in another tab (I mean an extra button next to talk and shop, or divide the shop in different categories like it is done with Aliss on Tavros), so that if you add other equippable items and transformatives the shop is not getting so crowded. Maybe you could write a short intro for the "hats-menu", where Nillep clears her counter-box and opens it to show you her collection of hats inside. Afterwards there could be another talk scene about why she likes hats so much. As always just ideas. Please ignore at will.

That actually sounds like a great idea and I love an excuse for Nillep to talk about her past some more... also I like talking about hats.
 

Noob Salad

Captain Shitpost
Aug 26, 2015
4,374
1,559
It'd be nice but I hate to think the work it would to program a new item slot like that.

Err, I mean it wouldn't be any more difficult than what's been done so far.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
Err, I mean it wouldn't be any more difficult than what's been done so far.

The issue I imagine would be that so many items that would take the slot have already been written or programmed to fit the accessory slot. Then again this could also be a super easy change. I have no idea since I know nothing of programing
 

PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
The issue I imagine would be that so many items that would take the slot have already been written or programmed to fit the accessory slot. Then again this could also be a super easy change. I have no idea since I know nothing of programing

I don't think there are THAT many items to rewrite. I'd guess it could be done, but on the other hand I think the accessory slot is fine and sufficient.
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
So this is a purely hypothetical question, and I can not stress enough that this is hypothetical. But if I were to expand on Nillep to make her a companion would people be interested in her in such a role?
 
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PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
[...] But if I were to expand on Nillep to make her a companion would people be interested in her in such a role?

It makes sense that she'd join the captain's crew, since she does not seem to be really attached to the planet she is on. Yammi could make some tempting food and shelter on a starship might not be the worst. Only thing I don't see is a serious relationship opening between the captain and Nillep, so that would (for my taste) have to be expanded before thinking about recruitment. But since I like her, sure go ahead and add her to the crew.


EDIT: Should I write some more hats or do you think six is sufficient?
 
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jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
It makes sense that she'd join the captain's crew, since she does not seem to be really attached to the planet she is on. Yammi could make some tempting food and shelter on a starship might not be the worst. Only thing I don't see is a serious relationship opening between the captain and Nillep, so that would (for my taste) have to be expanded before thinking about recruitment. But since I like her, sure go ahead and add her to the crew.

If I do expand her to the crew I would definitely add more so that there's more connection to her and Steele
 

jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
I would like to take this moment to say just how much I respect the primary writers of this game. In the amount of time I've spent trying to write this one character that isn't all that complicated, these guys will pump out entire planets and people to occupy them with damn near zero parsers missed. Meanwhile I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck parsers are and to get one sex scene done right.


So honors to all the main fen.co writers and anyone else that has written for trials or coc. You gentlemen and gentleladies are saints. Sex depraved saints.
 
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jarllee97

Well-Known Member
Jun 13, 2016
231
13
Added a variant of the sex scene for females.


Probably gonna modify the penis version

 Should I write some more hats or do you think six is sufficient?

I'll leave this up to you. If you feel more are needed then go ahead and add them. If not, that's also okay
 

PyrateHyena

Well-Known Member
Oct 13, 2015
413
54
Made two new hats today. A flat hat and a tricorn. Not really pleased with the flat hat descrption and tool tip, but I could not think of a better way to describe it, while keeping it general and open to imagination at the same time.


I will probably put up my own thread for the doc in the ideas section, so that this can be about the shop and nillep and not so much about her hats and hat mechanics. I'll post the link here when I am done with that.


EDIT: https://fenoxo.com/forum/index.php?/topic/4193-simple-hats/
 
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