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MateMint
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That backstory was just too damn sad, poor thing ;(. What the hell is wrong with those parents!? I just want to give them a piece of my mind!
Please do
Please do
[Implemented] Fisianna: The VERY Shy Nekomata
- Thread starter Lkynmbr24
- Start date
Oddly enough I get really distracted almost all day with the doc in front me, sometimes for like 4 hours straight. I talk to some friends on discord or watch youtube or play osu! a lot
Pretty much by the time I even start actually writing its like close to bed, but for some reason I just vomit out words like crazy when I actually get to focus... 
Chillstep helps me out tho I'm a really slow starter with a lot of time on my hands at the moment...
I'm similar.
But still, over 11k words in a week? The project I submitted wasn't even 13k words, and that took me months. Hopefully I've gotten better.
I wouldn't worry about it! From what I read from your project, you portrayed Mrs. Reasner really well! Usually I'm not the biggest fan of adultery, but the way you executed her story, her scenes, and her selfless loving personality, despite her questionable activities just kinda almost makes it seem so sensual and right. xD I know she'll be one of my favorite characters to use once I get to play with her in the next public patch and I'm looking forward to her ex-pac content! Either way, it's the quality, not the quantity!
I don't know if its me, but every time I plan to make a scene shortish, I have a tendency to get "inspired" midway through a scene and just blow it up to epic proportions in terms of length. Doc's at just about 15k words now, and still not done the hangout scenes, nor the date scenes, nor the max trust and sex scenes... Guh, if this keeps up, this is gonna be a 30k+ word doc on my hands... I'm kinda starting to get worried if some scenes might be a bit too long or if it's ok. Hopefully the quality doesn't wane as I write this out but whew, she's gonna be one dialogue-heavy character! 
Hopefully I can finish all the hangout scenes tomorrow if I don't go overboard...
I'm kinda starting to get worried if some scenes might be a bit too long or if it's ok. Hopefully the quality doesn't wane as I write this out but whew, she's gonna be one dialogue-heavy character! Hopefully I can finish all the hangout scenes tomorrow if I don't go overboard...
I think if words are still coming out of your head and onto the document, you should be okay. I don't think scenes being too long is much of a problem, and if it is you could go back and make them shorter or maybe split them up.
It's when you have a lot of ideas but can't get them into text that you have a problem.
Good luck.
It's when you have a lot of ideas but can't get them into text that you have a problem.
Good luck.
That is much appreciated insight. The main thing I kinda worry about is how difficult things might be for the coders if certain scenes seem dragged out, but its mostly huge dialogue that's making up the bulk of the project and not some funky new mechanic so I probably should be fine I hope xD I imagine the sex scenes will be the most difficult part of the project for me since it will require some expert parser knowledge to make the dialogue sound right in game. Precisely why I'm saving that part for last in this project xD I am starting to get a bit of writer's block with these hangout scenes though, even though I have a rough idea of what I want to do with each friend variation. I think I'll pace myself a little more slowly with those and divert my focus to the max trust and date scenes a little more.
Then again I might be rambling cause I'm a little nervous if this may get accepted in the end xD Regardless, still working hard to bring daily updates and trying to keep the quality of this high
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Some writing advice I've received is to just get as much down in writing as possible. Don't worry about if it's good enough, or if it fits the parser, don't go back and try to fix things, just get things written down. Put it down in dot points if that's all you can come up with.
Once you've got everything down, it's easier to then go back over it and make it good. If you try to make it all good from the start you tend to get stuck one part, and then not get on to writing other parts.
Once you've got everything down, it's easier to then go back over it and make it good. If you try to make it all good from the start you tend to get stuck one part, and then not get on to writing other parts.
I can say that advice is already helping me out a great deal in making this doc so far. I sincerely thank you for this!
I've kinda hit a writer's roadblock in trying to figure out a good suitable (and variable) third activity that Fisianna, Steele and random friend could do together. I had an idea with them doing some random stuff in the plaza like looking at the statue art and bird cages, but I don't have anything to really go on after that comparitively. With the scale of the Arcade and Shopping scenes they way they are, I've been racking my brain up for the last couple of days trying to at the least think of one other thing they could do together, but coming up empty...
Forget me saying the sex scenes would be the most difficult part. I at least know what I'm going to do with everything else BUT these hangout scenes... Guh.
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Ok, I have a few of the hangout scenes done for shopping and visiting an arcade, but I simply cannot come up with any other possible ideas for expanding that option that can possibly involve her friends as well. I guess I'm gonna have to ask for help on this one if I should leave it at the 6 (albeit massive scenes) that I have for hangout scenes, or ideas I can possibly write friend variations for. Worst case scenario I could also rehash the hangout idea to try to do something else with them as well. Generally I need some suggestions/criticism/direction for this particular part of Fisi's doc before I try to go further with it. In the meantime I'll focus on Fisi's date scenes and sex scenes till I have the hangout scenes fully figured out.
Hm, movies I could definitely work with for hangout scenes! I also think I could work with that for a date scene as well (Likely a 2nd or 3rd date) as she works out of her comfort zone, so maybe I can work off of that too xD
Of course more suggestions are welcome by anyone too if I can manage it. I'd like to make a good amount so that while building her trust by hanging out with her and her friends, that there is a good variation of scenes that can happen so it would limit the amount of repeated scenes the player might see xD I seek to aim for around 9-12 scenes for now, and maybe more if I think of them if I make an expansion
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May be a sleepover? But due to her shy nature it would likely have to be one of her friends to suggest it. Also if she is suppose to gradually get out of her comfort zone then maybe work up to the sensual kiss described in the first date arcade scene, Shy kisses are best kisses so treasure them! But that just me being nit picky otherwise really good character so far.
Thank you very much!
Mmm, a sleepover might not be very easy for me to do in honesty, especially in 3 different scenarios.
The kiss thing I'm working on as of this moment for the max trust scene! If the PC will agree to being Fisi's lover, then Steele will give Fisi her first kiss, and she will like kissing from then on
Course she'll be shy around her friends if it were to happen but, yeah
Thank you very much!
Mmm, a sleepover might not be very easy for me to do in honesty, especially in 3 different scenarios.
The kiss thing I'm working on as of this moment for the max trust scene! If the PC will agree to being Fisi's lover, then Steele will give Fisi her first kiss, and she will like kissing from then on
It doesn't have to be 3 different variations, you could in fact have it be the scene prior to the max trust scene as a kinda one off scene and then the next time you see her its her max trust scene. That's just one suggestion, work with what your comfortable with.
That could work, specially if it's a sleepover with all 4 of them together, and the only scene the 4 of them are together is the bar scene. I'm just a little unsure of what might happen at said sleepover, as I wouldn't want the kiss to happen at that point. I COULD use it as an introductory scene to describe her home, and her personal AI she mentions in her [Programming] scene. If I can fit it in, I can try to make a little "interlude" to that scene with that xD
Edit: Ok, forget me being unsure about what might happen. I might use that as an opportunity for another "accidental cuddle"... Boy I'm devious, thanks for that idea!
No worries, I asked for suggestions and what you provided me are some pretty good ones! Of course I can't be sure if they come up in the end, but I'm definitely inspired again from what you suggested
I shall see what I can work with and take any help I can get! I thank you again for the wonderful ideas, and I really couldn't get far enough in the project without them from everyone A lot of ideas I had were pretty half-baked at first too so yeah
Edit: Ok, forget me being unsure about what might happen. I might use that as an opportunity for another "accidental cuddle"... Boy I'm devious, thanks for that idea!
No problemo, Ideas I can do but when it comes to writing my stuff looks like a skeleton compared to what I've scene here and elsewhere on the forums.
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Hmm... I was going to suggest dates (for a game about... relationships... there aren't very many dates in the game), but after taking a look at the document I see you have some planned already.
Maybe a board game night? or is that too similar to playing at the arcade?
If they're all gamers, maybe they get together to play some co-op games? Or maybe future-minecraft where they're working together to build something in-game?
As for some ideas... if she's so shy, maybe she'd prefer more teenager-like dates. Maybe going to the malt shop and getting some burgers and milkshakes. For a date, maybe get a booth for some semblance of privacy for when you put your arm around her...
Maybe a classic walk in the park, but I don't know if Tavros even has a park. It's a residential station, so I'd guess it has some area of greenery to help keep people happy. You could have a romantic, late-night walk along a pond/lake/stream/river. Maybe have a picnic.
For a group activity in a park... around here there are some outdoor cinemas where you can watch a movie (usually a foreign/more artsy kind of film) on a large screen in a picnic setting (you could bring your own food, or but some at the nearby food stalls. They also sold insect spray, which was convenient). I first went to one of these after my friends asked if I wanted to go.
For dates there's always going to Fisianna's apartment, or event Steele's now that you have one in the Nursery (not that we know what's in there). Just hanging out, maybe playing games or watching tv/holo-vids. Perhaps this could lead to Steele giving her a massage/rub-down as part of Fisianna becoming more used to physical contact with Steele.
You could bring her to a pool (assuming Tavros doesn't have an artificial beach or lake for swimming). Fisianna could get embarrassed/anxious about wearing a bathing suit, and you could reassure her.
I still need to read the doc a bit more to give feedback on it.
Maybe a board game night? or is that too similar to playing at the arcade?
If they're all gamers, maybe they get together to play some co-op games? Or maybe future-minecraft where they're working together to build something in-game?
As for some ideas... if she's so shy, maybe she'd prefer more teenager-like dates. Maybe going to the malt shop and getting some burgers and milkshakes. For a date, maybe get a booth for some semblance of privacy for when you put your arm around her...
Maybe a classic walk in the park, but I don't know if Tavros even has a park. It's a residential station, so I'd guess it has some area of greenery to help keep people happy. You could have a romantic, late-night walk along a pond/lake/stream/river. Maybe have a picnic.
For a group activity in a park... around here there are some outdoor cinemas where you can watch a movie (usually a foreign/more artsy kind of film) on a large screen in a picnic setting (you could bring your own food, or but some at the nearby food stalls. They also sold insect spray, which was convenient). I first went to one of these after my friends asked if I wanted to go.
For dates there's always going to Fisianna's apartment, or event Steele's now that you have one in the Nursery (not that we know what's in there). Just hanging out, maybe playing games or watching tv/holo-vids. Perhaps this could lead to Steele giving her a massage/rub-down as part of Fisianna becoming more used to physical contact with Steele.
You could bring her to a pool (assuming Tavros doesn't have an artificial beach or lake for swimming). Fisianna could get embarrassed/anxious about wearing a bathing suit, and you could reassure her.
I still need to read the doc a bit more to give feedback on it.
I could prolly sneak that in to the sleepover scene I've been planning since yesterday, wouldn't be a bad thing to have in that one-off scene.
Mmm, I wanna avoid having too many gaming scenes outside of arcade scenes. Fisi is pretty much the most avid of the gamers out of the four next to maybe Britannia, so I'll prolly leave the gaming related stuff to the arcade hangout scenes, the sleepover, and the first date scene. Prehaps if I make an expansion I could extend some options to it, but for the base project I want to avoid too many.
As for the teenager-like date thing, that's kinda what I'm aiming to do with Fisi since as modest as she is, I don't think she would need the fanciest of dinners to be swooned
I'll decide if I do either that or a romantic dinner for her last date.Mostly going off the flavor texts for each area in the plaza area of the residential deck, I'm not certain if there is enough room to use for picnic space, but if there is, I'd love to make a picnic and outdoor theater date scenes if so! Theater one might be more possible, even without the extra room.
That's a pretty big step for a date scene imo
I may do something like this for the first sex scene though. Maybe xD I think by then they'd be more accustomed to touching anyways. She's shy in public, but when alone, or seemingly alone, not as much xD I'll try to build up to that as I progress with the date scenes xDPossible expac idea, though I doubt I'd put it in the base content though. I kinda doubt Tavros would have a public swimming pool, but might not be that out there either.
Thanks for all the wonderful ideas
I'll add what I see fit to use out of this and see what I can do with this xD
I think I will request the move once I'm done with all the hangout scenes and 100% satisfied with them, as by then I'd have everything I want to do with the project figured out then
Also, weeeeew, 22.5k words already, and that's excluding even more hangout scenes, most of the date scenes and sex scenes...
I'm also not sure if I have it in my heart to make a rejection scene for when Fisi confesses her feelings... I know it's something I DON'T wanna have to do, but at the same time, feel its kinda necessary according to the writing style guide on things not to do.
In my mind, I was thinking of the park area being something like Central Park in New York City - a great big green area in the middle of a big urban area. There isn't any place big enough in the existing parts of Tavros Station to hold it. Considering that Tavros is vertically-oriented (I think it has over a hundred floors?) such a park would probably have a whole story to itself. Possibly two if the designers wanted it to have hills or waterfalls or something. You'd need Fenoxo's/Savin's approval to add something that significant to Tavros station.
That's a pretty big step for a date scene imo
This idea came from the structure of the progression of Fisinia's relationship with Steele. The document currently suggests first you reach max trust with her, then you have some dates with her, and only after that does Steele encounter her sex scene. I was thinking that this would be a possible middle ground after Fisianna becoming comfortable around Steele (reaching max trust with her/starting the dates) but before she is comfortable having sex with Steele. Probably more on the later end of that transition?
Of course, Fisinnia is your character so it's your decision how her relationship with the player might progress.
WHO WOULD DARE MAKE FISI CRY!? BRING THEM TO ME, I`LL ***** IN THEIR**** WITH*** AND*** IN***.
Anyway......please don`t make Fise cry. I can`t handle shy girls crying
(so cute, but so sad)
I think I'd DEFINITELY want to avoid having Fen/Savin add a whole nother floor on Tavros to be just designated for park space! @_@ Specially for the significance of only one scene, and especially since I'm a new writer, I don't want the project to be that grandoise. That would be way too much to ask for imo, haha.
Yeah, I do have to watch how they interact progressively, but yeah, during the sleepover hangout scene, I planned to have her accidently snuggle with steele while they sleep together, then of course the first kiss at the max trust scene. By then she would be comfortable kissing. The first 2 or 3 dates would prolly just be hanging out just the two of them at certain places, like the arcade, movies, little casual outing (Maybe that theater/picnic idea) But yeah, by the 4th date or so I'd prolly have Steele gradually warm her up to more intimate stuff until then, so yeah I can prolly do something like that for the 4th date or so. Not entirely sure how I'd execute that yet, but I'll work something out, I'm sure of it xD
O-oh... oh my... And believe me, I'm reluctant on doing that, but there ARE those people, though I'm not sure if someone reasonably would go 0 to 100 real quick and just go from best friend to just... yeah...
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I think I'd DEFINITELY want to avoid having Fen/Savin add a whole nother floor on Tavros to be just designated for park space! @_@ Specially for the significance of only one scene, and especially since I'm a new writer, I don't want the project to be that grandoise. That would be way too much to ask for imo, haha.
You know, I don't think it would need to be an explorable area. Just state that such a thing exists, and maybe list the major features of the place. For example, have you seen Bess/Ben's dates? You go to some different planets, they're not something that you can explore using the regular map you just have an description of the area.
I'm also not sure if I have it in my heart to make a rejection scene for when Fisi confesses her feelings...
I guess you don't have to make it too detailed or put too much time into it. Would you think that giving players an option to reject her makes the choice of returning her affection more meaningful? Though if you're going through all her scenes and don't at least let her down gently (which I presume is that the "just friends" option is for), you're probably just a dick.
You don't necessarily need to make it explorable tiles. you can always make it appear exclusively in your narrative like Saendra's bedroom in anon's bar or the under construction deck you go to for SaendraQuest2.