[Implemented] Another Cowgirl, Brandy the Moo
- Thread starter HugsAlright
- Start date
Do you plan on shitposting at all on your date?
If only it were so easy to focus on one thing without receiving so many good ideas, but yes, SOON.
LoL and so you felt that feature creep is strong in this one too hue hue. That hard art to say no to more feature creep liek you got now with Brandy. Or jsut keep wirting thwm down somewhere in seperate place than Brandy main gdoc to be left to be worked on at later date when she get ingame so it will be only expanding her mroe than adding more to base before she was even added.
So...what you thought about my idea of Brandy been able to talk but under great mental and physical burden to do it so she saving it for people she really likes?
I've been keeping a .txt doc of all the things I want to write, it keeps getting longer.
I like the Idea a lot, it's just that all the revisions and stuff that needs explaining because of it I don't like.
Also I could use a small bit of help; you guys think it'd be better if Brandy just gestured as to what this "other mod" did, or if she should show Steele some sort of poster or advertisement for it? Technically this TF would have been taken off the market quickly after it's side effects were discovered, poor Brandy being one of the first to actually use the commercially available version. So I don't know where the advertisement would be.
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She can always use gestures to ask PC to hand over their Codex for a moment, space Google an article about the mod and/or the incident and hand it back to them.
I second this. This makes it a whole lot easier to explain how her predicament came to be with the least amount of gestures possible.
I feel bad for Brandy now...and it was my idea. I'm such a horrible person.
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Fuck.
Thanks for this dude, very good idea, wrote up a quick little thing of the PC reading an article on the mod, had to give it a stupid name though.
Hawt!
Read it. Digged it...the writing that is...I'm not a monster...
How about she saved a cowkid from getting attacked by a Varmint and got her vocal chords scratched in the process?
I think that's a little too violent, to get to the vocal cords you'd have to cut through half the neck. And can't wounds be heals quite easily with their modern medicine?
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I can't for the life of me figure out a backstory that doesn't make shadefalcon out to be a monster, isn't sad or violent, and still keeps Brandy endearing.
Well technically I'm the monster for creating Brandy with a disability (and for that exhibition scene), but yeah whatever shadefalcon's a monster.
...Which I suggested...(All credits go to you for writing it of course
)*Looks at avatar. Well I've already been established as a harpy in this forum, and harpies are technically a monster species. So I guess I can live with it
Personally I think it's the best option so far. It's the closest to the authors original idea after all.
The former is cute and endearing, and the latter is okay because cuddles. But yeah whatever shadefalcon's a monster.
Reviewed a goodly chunk.
Theme & Tone: Booby Brewery is pretty cool and lines up nicely with Kally's content. Selective "Moo"teness is adorable, though the cause is a bit of a stretch, particularly when the conflict is apparently something as simple as "bovine hormones" and not a deep restructuring of host DNA via microsurgeons. It's odd for the conflict to be with a breast mod instead of something else. Something that mods the throat or tongue would make more sense. A mod to improve her voice that she had taken pre-treatment would make sense. Or something to eliminate her gag reflex.
Also not really sure about her job. She's supposed to be "free samples" but tries to avoid attracting attention to herself. She doesn't really make much offer to the PC to take one either, being unable to talk and trying to stay busy with some barrels. It's like hiring a sign-spinner to stand on the corner, and then having them stand behind a dumpster smoking. Doesn't make much business sense.
Not 100% sure how I feel about how unhappy she is with her lot and life. Treated folks don't really have a ton of room for malaise.
Grammar: Lots and lots of comma splices. Writing is otherwise serviceable but repetitive. Definitely overuses the "You <verb>" sentence structure in places.
Character: Cute as fuck design. Would love to see art of it. Adorable interactions.
Theme & Tone: Booby Brewery is pretty cool and lines up nicely with Kally's content. Selective "Moo"teness is adorable, though the cause is a bit of a stretch, particularly when the conflict is apparently something as simple as "bovine hormones" and not a deep restructuring of host DNA via microsurgeons. It's odd for the conflict to be with a breast mod instead of something else. Something that mods the throat or tongue would make more sense. A mod to improve her voice that she had taken pre-treatment would make sense. Or something to eliminate her gag reflex.
Also not really sure about her job. She's supposed to be "free samples" but tries to avoid attracting attention to herself. She doesn't really make much offer to the PC to take one either, being unable to talk and trying to stay busy with some barrels. It's like hiring a sign-spinner to stand on the corner, and then having them stand behind a dumpster smoking. Doesn't make much business sense.
Not 100% sure how I feel about how unhappy she is with her lot and life. Treated folks don't really have a ton of room for malaise.
Grammar: Lots and lots of comma splices. Writing is otherwise serviceable but repetitive. Definitely overuses the "You <verb>" sentence structure in places.
Character: Cute as fuck design. Would love to see art of it. Adorable interactions.
Ok well I was worried it was too absurd so you not even comment on it. Maybe for some other npc it would be used by you or some other writer. Would be nice to see such concept used for some future npc not specialy one of NT ones.
Yeah, that's why I wrote "cheap" into the description of BestBreast, because that was the only way I could think of for the hormones to fit in. Now I'm thinking maybe she was born mute, received a gene-mod to fix that which then clashed with her treatment.
Free samples was her old job, she works the stockyard now. In my head canon of a so far non-existent character: Brandy originally took up that job, she enjoyed all the sex and suckling but felt something was "off" about it, and attributed her inability to speak out to part of that. She put in for a transfer to work somewhere else and got placed in the stockyard, where she meets Steele, of course.
I just sort of went off how I think most people would feel if the one thing meant to turn them into a sex-happy social butterfly suddenly ripped away their main ability to communicate with others.
Me no write so good, me work on it, thanks a bunch for the edits in the doc.
Thanks! One of my first thoughts when writing this was a commission for some art.
Man, this is getting a lot more difficult to write than I originally intended, I wonder why tha-
Ooooooh.
Anyways, thanks for all the feedback everyone, it helps a lot.
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Yeah, as SoonTM as I get rid of all the repetition, comma splices, and fix up the back-story on Brandy.
I actually went through the Maid Scene doc and tried to do the same.
There's probably a Bioshock joke in here I'm not seeing.
Brandy has a yes/no pillow in her bedroom, which she puts in front of her blushing face when she's very embarrassed, but still want to answer you.
Just a lovely thought I had in the middle of class
Not a real idea
Just a lovely thought I had in the middle of class
Not a real idea
What are you talking about? That's a lovely idea.Brandy has a yes/no pillow in her bedroom, which she puts in front of her blushing face when she's very embarrassed, but still want to answer you.
Just a lovely thought I had in the middle of class
Not a real idea
Though it'd make more sense for her to have that after interracting with Captain Steele the Kink Fiend.
Amazing. (Silly mode pillow just has "moo" written on both sides.)
We're breaking the hnnnnnng threshold, though.
Just a lovely thought I had in the middle of class
Funny thing that, I get most of my Ideas in longer classes, except my ideas end up pretty terrible.
Maybe better than buying a CODEX. Well since we already helped one npc became fully girl then other get real/robotic 4th arm why not tosh dosh to do same here. Unless using credits to fix her issue will be totaly crushing Brandy core idea (it may I suppose with such option).