So, who are you guys irl?

Tinman

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
777
233
Jesus Fucking Ass Christ your serious!?

Yes. I've done a lot of dog rescue work, and for some insane reason the group rescuing these puppies wanted them together until they were transported. I agreed under the condition that they'd be here a week and not a second longer... still way too long. It didn't help that the weather sucked and I couldn't leave them outside for more than a few minutes on a couple of days.
 
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Compassionate

Member
Apr 9, 2016
5
0
If I was rating my day based on how many dogs I saw, I'd be rating how bad my day in and the number would always be high.  Animals get a lot less cute when you're wrist deep in their shit on a regular basis.

Hey, I worked for horses for a good few years and they haven't lost their cuteness, even though they're shitting machines. I fly off the rage handle whenever people say they're easy animals to care for tbh.


I understand why you dislike dogs though. The town I live in is your living hell- we literally have an spot that infamous for literally being caked in dog poop. The owners around here are awful.


Then again, I'm stuck in some horrific Lisa Frank-esque brain hell where all living creatures are adorable. Even the ones that are straight up from Satan's ass.

As a 4'10 person I don't recommend being short.

Oh my god?? That's such a cute height... I have a friend who's about that height and they get annoyed when people have to stoop down to look them in the eye. (Even tho me and them can't stand eye contact. What's up with people and eye contact anyways? It's so... extra.)
 

Woider

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2015
4,830
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Denmark
Hey, I worked for horses for a good few years and they haven't lost their cuteness, even though they're shitting machines. I fly off the rage handle whenever people say they're easy animals to care for tbh.

I once saw a stallion take a full 2-minute piss with it's schlong hanging out. Let me just say it made me re-evaluate my stance on horsecock a tiny bit.

What's up with people and eye contact anyways?

I've had that problem too, I found it best to focus on a spot directly next to their head, so it looks as if you're keeping eye-contact. I find it odd, and I almost think someone is mentally undressing me if they keep rigid eye-contact.
 

Compassionate

Member
Apr 9, 2016
5
0
I once saw a stallion take a full 2-minute piss with it's schlong hanging out. Let me just say it made me re-evaluate my stance on horsecock a tiny bit.


I've had that problem too, I found it best to focus on a spot directly next to their head, so it looks as if you're keeping eye-contact. I find it odd, and I almost think someone is mentally undressing me if they keep rigid eye-contact.

I was on horseback when the lady I was on decided to piss... for five minutes. There was this pretentious ass (human, not donkey) beside me who laughed at me. Also, where else did you think a horse would piss from?


Eye contact is just so unnecessary, it's ridiculous. I often focus on mouths so I can properly process what someone's saying. I often feel like I'm being judged when I keep eye contact. Makes my brain slow down. It's so weird.
 

djunk101

Well-Known Member
Oct 6, 2015
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I was on horseback when the lady I was on decided to piss... for five minutes. There was this pretentious ass (human, not donkey) beside me who laughed at me. Also, where else did you think a horse would piss from?


Eye contact is just so unnecessary, it's ridiculous. I often focus on mouths so I can properly process what someone's saying. I often feel like I'm being judged when I keep eye contact. Makes my brain slow down. It's so weird.

I've always been uncomfortable with eye contact (it may have something to do with my Asperger's though). It's a bit easier with people I know well, but still uncomfortable. I remember as a kid, if I had look someone in the eye close up I would break out in nervous laughter.
 

Mei97

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
136
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i get nervous with eye contact alot, but thats cause I'm fairly shy; meanwhile my girlfriend always goes for direct eye contact, she says she does cause she was told to as a kid.


Also 4'10 may be cute but I get tired of having to buy from the kid isle
 
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Woider

Well-Known Member
Aug 26, 2015
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I was on horseback when the lady I was on decided to piss... for five minutes. There was this pretentious ass (human, not donkey) beside me who laughed at me. Also, where else did you think a horse would piss from?

Oh I knew where it came from, I'm just not a rural guy, so I never really thought of it.
 

Tenacious_Tiddy

Well-Known Member
Sep 24, 2015
371
0
Tennessee
I always maintain eye contact and people who don't maintain it with me I feel like they're weak. :p

Im not gonna stare back into your soulless eyes just cause were conversing. Its like my customers at work. I greet them make initial eye contact to let them know that Ive acknowledged them then keep doing whatever it was I was doing beforehand while maintaining the conversation. I dont have time to stare at you. Lol love ya Lawley.


Edit: also 4 years of gas station work makes you dislike people... Alot!
 
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Mei97

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
136
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Its like my customers at work. I greet them make initial eye contact to let them know that Ive acknowledged them then keep doing whatever it was I was doing beforehand while maintaining the conversation. I dont have time to stare at you. Lol love ya Lawley.


Edit: also 4 years of gas station work makes you dislike people... Alot!

I've kinda given up acknowlegeing the people that come into my work

Note:You fuckers know what a Carabao is?


It is the worst thing to ever take care of ever (in my opinion)


Shits as much as a horse with exlax and pisses with the control and dignity matching that of a 90 year old man using a kids urinal.

I looked it up... you poor bastard
 
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Akhter13

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
428
262

If you are not just taking the piss, then


Dude I am calling out your trainers on this one


you always de- escalate. I know you are a door kicker, so you have to intimidate like fuck for the 30 seconds between shouting "Police" and "Secure"


and anyone you deal with in that time frame should not be able to maintain eye contact with you.


You stare at people in tense situations and give them only two options back down or take a pop, some will be compelled to take a pop.


And before you say I don't know what I am talking about every 2 years I have to spend a week refreshing stuff like this; always stand at right angles never opposite as this gives the person the choice of eye contact, always open face take any hat off, offer handshake never insist, always build rapport....


This morning I was part a hearing to have a non-jury trial, because the ladies and gentlemen where members of a prescribed organisation (I never use the T word), it failed (correctly imo) as the £2.5 million was for personal benefit not the cause. I could get you professional recommendations from torture killers if you want.


Silly dominance games just undermine your service to the community, they are self defeating, make you look like a dick and get people hurt.


Oh what if the chips are really down, well the last time that happened to me it was because I maintained to much eye contact. I missed the third accomplice, who fucked me up so bad I didn't have a blink reflex. My partner 5' 1" and mid fifties, did she beat them up or intimidate them No. She used the most dangerous weapon you will ever get issued with (clue it keeps your ears apart), so she used her best "Mammy Voice" and shamed these 3 guys into backing off.


Simple message "Dying in Service is of no Service to anyone."
 
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EmperorG

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2015
1,242
398
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I once saw a stallion take a full 2-minute piss with it's schlong hanging out. Let me just say it made me re-evaluate my stance on horsecock a tiny bit.


I was on horseback when the lady I was on decided to piss... for five minutes. There was this pretentious ass (human, not donkey) beside me who laughed at me. Also, where else did you think a horse would piss from?

Hah, that reminds me of the time I went horseback riding in a caravan of horses, about 20 horses give or take on a trail. So there we were in the Nevada desert when out of nowhere ever single horse decided to take a piss one after another. Everyone was stopped because horses don't like walking and pissing, I found it hilarious they all decided to piss about the same time. Also that trail was utterly covered in horse poop, pretty much every horse on the trail took a poop at one point or another, thankfully not all at once like they did with pissing.
 

Akhter13

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
428
262
I was taking the piss mate of course

I was 95% certain you were, but that other that 5% was worth 5 mins of typing

Your partner sounds awesome

Yep there are thankfully very few occasions irl when you can truly say you owe your life to someone, but in this case I do, they would have ended me that day. After that she got a medical back transfer out of fieldwork, she thought at the time I'd been killed* and she had failed to stop it, but now we try to meet up for coffee at least once a week.


*I dropped instantly without a sound and my eyes were fixed and fully dilated.
 
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Akhter13

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
428
262
Well following the outburst above I should de-cloak for a minute.


I am 47 married with a small sports team of kids (what can I say my other half is Catholic and a pregophile) some of them older than many of you.


So as the representative of the parental community with regard to the earlier section of this thread about masturbation, Of course we know ;we do your washing, nobody is that congested and there is no amount of spray perfume that can hide the fact that "Sparkles the  Alicorn" smells like prawn cocktail. 


I have left sliced fruit and water outside rooms and comeback 15mins later to avoid see that which can not be unseen. There are worse things of course My adult daughter believes she walked in on me in a "personal moment" when in fact I was just peeling sweaty bits apart, it was summer.


When the kids were younger I looked a lot like my avatar, now I look more John Travolta in "Michael" and sound like David Niven ( in case you are unfamiliar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvtrWuLXuzQ


Yep married just over 1/4 of a century now, the little gold band means forsaking all others (not just those with certain tab slot combos) being Bi means that with monogamy there will always be a bit of you that can't be expressed. But I am not complaining the world is a lot better place now to be yourself,  when I was a teen Homosexuality was still a criminal offence here (Northern Ireland) and even after that there was section 28.


Job wise I work the less rewarding side of organised crime (Detection) before that was 14 years in a lab coat (including being a licensed Vivisectionist) before that was Officer training and Uni.
 

Aero_Ventus

Member
Jan 30, 2016
21
1
26
Irl I am a 18 year old 5'11 white male named Alex with the complexion of a ginger. I am currently in high school trying to get into a college for accounting. If i could describe my personality it would be emotional, romantic, down to earth, and being a dreamer.


My hobbies/interest include video games mostly rpgs, Reading manga and visual novels, watching YouTube, studying mythology, searching for who i am and improving myself, and of course playing Everything on fenoxo. The only mention able skills i really have is math,saving animals-all of them birds- and playing rpg video games.


And Just on side note even though this may sound weird but coc and tits have really opened my eyes to being more accepting of sexuality. I used by uncomfortable with the the thought homosexuality and bisexuality which i was hugely ashamed of. I am glad that i got past this and that this community is very accepting and helpful! : :parrot:

I'm a 5'4" female, who reads Trials,Champions, and Eden for the... characters! I actually just like to draw a lot, so my source of inspiration just sometimes happens to be the characters of smutty games. I also enjoy making music, but not nearly as much as I like drawing. Anyway, I'm 18, and I don't really know what I want to do with my life just yet, so there's not much going on for me besides doing commissions or freebies for friends.

Interesting, would it be okay for me to see your art as long as your comfortable with that?
 

Aero_Ventus

Member
Jan 30, 2016
21
1
26
Corruption of Champions.  Bringing perverts together for... HOLY CRAP, has it been 5 years already?

I legitimately want to see the art and perhaps some "research" on it later. :parrot:  <--- I love this emoticon for some reason
 

Aero_Ventus

Member
Jan 30, 2016
21
1
26
My Mini-Me is better :cthulhu: It tap-dances

I cannot deny it the tap dancing is too strong for me, But not for my army :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: :parrot: (just imagine a thousand of these here, i am for to lazy put that many)
 
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Sapphire

Well-Known Member
Mar 31, 2016
61
7
38
New York
Well I feel awkward dropping in here when you all are having your own conversations.

I'm Sapphire, Saph for short, I'm new to the new forums, but I was on the old ones for quite a while (though I mostly kept to myself).

I am 6ft tall and over 200 lbs (both dont want to and am not sure how much exactly). I am a pre-transition trans woman. I'm 29 years old but I'll be 30 in June.

I'm fairly shy and have social anxiety but in small communities like this I'm much more comfortable opening up. I'm not really good at talking about myself, but if you want to know things I'm happy to share. Oh I should mention that because of my social anxiety, I don't work, so I have lots of time to spend lurking on forums, such as this one.
 

Sapphire

Well-Known Member
Mar 31, 2016
61
7
38
New York
If I find one person shorter than me I will die happy

I would trade you my height if I could. I'm very loli-like on the inside (aka personality wise), so having a tiny body would make me really happy. I have long since accepted the fact that I'm stuck this way though.
 

Mei97

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
136
2
34
I would trade you my height if I could. I'm very loli-like on the inside (aka personality wise), so having a tiny body would make me really happy. I have long since accepted the fact that I'm stuck this way though.

Same
 

zOh

Active Member
Oct 29, 2015
34
9
24 y/o programmer here. My life is 30% work (hail corporate), 30% gf, and 30% smut. Sometimes I read the TiTS sourcecode for lulz or to figure out how some shit works. That's about it.


Edit: ... and 30% vidya.
 
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hack-wizard

Member
Nov 19, 2015
11
0
24 y/o programmer here. My life is 30% work (hail corporate), 30% gf, and 30% smut. Sometimes I read the TiTS sourcecode for lulz or to figure out how some shit works. That's about it.


Edit: ... and 30% vidya.

Should totally read the source myself actually ...


Wow, been forever since I was on.
 

CommanderStrife

New Member
Apr 20, 2016
4
1
31
All I literally do is sit on my computer, because I don't have anyone to really hangout with, and I also don't know where to find people to hang out with.
 I play video games, or draw digital art.


I'm 5'7" tall last I checked, about 5 years ago, 145 pounds heavy, I'm pretty skinny. I have long brown hair, and I also don't really do anything as interesting as a lot of people here other than the above stuff. Dropped out of high school halfway through grade 11 and live on a sort of disability that I only am on because I have chronic anxiety, and depression. Kinda crappy tbh, but *shrug* I manage well enough. Makes keeping a job a lot harder though, since I operate okay under pressure, but I break kinda easily whilst under pressure.


Spend most of my time drawing, playing video games and chatting with friends, usually with some kind of audio or video going on in the background. There's almost never not a time when I'm not multi-tasking. Currently wanting to get a sort of thing going with my art, with a comic I wanna make sometime soon.


Not much else aside from that. Not TOO interesting to be honest.