[editors needed] Nilleps' shop

[jarllee97]

Yep, another reboot for Nillep. I really do plan on finishing this character but you know how life gets in the way.

During this time I've come to few decisions that'll effect some content.
1. I'm gonna remove the sex scene. There's a certain level of quality when it comes to erotic content in fenoxo games and I don't feel like I can meet that. So at present I'll be changing her into a non-sex npc for now and I'll look into commissioning sex scenes for her in the future.
2. I fully plan on expanding her beyond the old shop a few possibilities could be an upgrade to the shop to make it a legit business, deporting her back to her home planet, having her move to a new planet/station, and my personal hope is to make her a crew member at some point.
3. I wouldn't expect another submission to fen anytime soon since I'm in a rather chaotic situation and progress is slow but even if I only make a couple of edits a week I will keep working on it.

So I'll have the links, not too many changes since the last update but feel free to comment and make suggestions.

race codex

Nillep main page





Editors sorely needed!

If anyone wants to try their hand at writing an erotic scene for Nillep I would love you forever.
If possible I'd like to avoid commissioning a sex scene since I've had issues with paypal in the past.


I have more than a thousand views on the page. Don't know if that's a big deal but I feel accomplished

2000 views. Fucking awesome

3000 views! Yay!

4000 views! Goddamn *_*

5000 Views!

6000 Views

Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated

Feel free to suggest content

If you have questions feel free to post them below. I'll try and answer as quickly as I can

 

[Zavos]

As i'm reading this, i'm getting a horrible image of those undead baby enemies from Dead Space. 


...


Overall, i think this looks good.  Far better then anything I've written, anyways.  You're definitely on the right track. 

 

[PyrateHyena]

Quite like it. For my personal taste the name could be a bit more alien and not just... german. Race idea, personal and private intercourse and social thingie are something new and that's good to see. Why should an alien race be named in a (probably) extinct terran language? Steele senior and Steeletech seem to be the main contacts for them, so I don't get the german name at all, but maybe that is just me

 

[jarllee97]

Quite like it. For my personal taste the name could be a bit more alien and not just... german. Race idea, personal and private intercourse and social thingie are something new and that's good to see. Why should an alien race be named in a (probably) extinct terran language? Steele senior and Steeletech seem to be the main contacts for them, so I don't get the german name at all, but maybe that is just me

The German was cause when I began writing the character I gave her a german accent. I'm not creative enough to make a new language. If anyone can think of better names I'm up for suggestions

 

[Leonid]

But you do realise how ridiculus that sound in german? You just named them Cave people.

 

[PyrateHyena]

Also you keep switching between Höhen and Höhlen in your document. Höhlen translates to caves, while Höhen means highs (like f.e. mountain tops). So if they are called Höhenbewohner, but live underground, that would be kind of confusing, at least for a german-speaker.

But you do realise how ridiculus that sound in german? You just named them Cave people.

Literally it is cave dweller, or resident.

 

[Savin]

Clearly whoever made First Contact with them was just a really lazy German.


Also, I may or may not be working on a Steele Tech-influenced race with some German naming stuff, so that checks out.

 

[PyrateHyena]

If it somehow makes sense, then feel free to go with it. As I said I like your concept a lot. It makes sense that Steeletech is "international" (if nations still exist, I don't really care, so I didn't bother to check), but I was under the assumption that english had become the terran standard. That may be wrong. And is also kind of boring and unimaginative, now that I think about it.

 

[Consciousone]

The new standard Terran language should clearly be Icelandic.

 

[jarllee97]

The more I think about it the more I realize the name was silly. I'm definitely gonna change that

Clearly whoever made First Contact with them was just a really lazy German.


Also, I may or may not be working on a Steele Tech-influenced race with some German naming stuff, so that checks out.

That lazy german would be me... Definitely gonna change the name. But if german works I'll keep the current moon name.

The new standard Terran language should clearly be Icelandic.

Iceland, the benevolent ruler of earth

 

[jarllee97]

So if I were to write a shop how would I get permission to put items to be sold? At present I only have two products.

 

[jarllee97]

Added the npc I was working on

 

[Zavos]

Ask permission.  If you dig around a bit, you can probably find out who wrote what, just ask if you can use their content in your shop. 

 

[jarllee97]

Ask permission.  If you dig around a bit, you can probably find out who wrote what, just ask if you can use their content in your shop. 

I got permission from mei97 to use the tiny tea/ grow cake. I just need to find more to fill in the products.

 

[PyrateHyena]

Gotta say I love Nillep so far. How about adding an old and used outfit with a tophat. No sexy, no armor, just for the fun of it. And probably after some talk the drink she is having, that makes you pass out for a bit and has some crazy sideeffects on you (like rising exhibitionism, giving a temporal cap on some stats and after used multiple times gives you a permanently smiling face). Just some ideas I came up with, without thinking too much about it. I'd also love a blowjob scene, where Nillep is wearing her tophat and constantly trying to smile. But I guess we'd have to build in a trust system to track her actual willingness. That would mean we need more talk-scenes to improve on that trust system, but all that sounds like it could be added later.

 

[jarllee97]

Gotta say I love Nillep so far. How about adding an old and used outfit with a tophat. No sexy, no armor, just for the fun of it. And probably after some talk the drink she is having, that makes you pass out for a bit and has some crazy sideeffects on you (like rising exhibitionism, giving a temporal cap on some stats and after used multiple times gives you a permanently smiling face). Just some ideas I came up with, without thinking too much about it. I'd also love a blowjob scene, where Nillep is wearing her tophat and constantly trying to smile. But I guess we'd have to build in a trust system to track her actual willingness. That would mean we need more talk-scenes to improve on that trust system, but all that sounds like it could be added later.

I think I would actually like to try making some outfits.


Also, I like the idea of drinking. I actually made this for shits and giggles and now I'm thinking I could use a better version and some others as random events where you pass out while drinking. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1q4XgVTqXoq_l0XP34lJfCThWseQHCnzjoVnkTNObibA/edit?usp=sharing

 

[PyrateHyena]

My idea with the drink was that it creates a new flag for your face that says something like "constantly smiling". You'd only get it if you drink x amounts of this special brew in x days, but with a minimum of 1 per day. It also gives you some bad sideeffects that last all day, so that getting the smiley face would actually be harder than just pour down and get it.


EDIT: I just realized that with Catnip you could go all Cheshire Cat with this one and oh my god would that be great.

 

[jarllee97]

My idea with the drink was that it creates a new flag for your face that says something like "constantly smiling". You'd only get it if you drink x amounts of this special brew in x days, but with a minimum of 1 per day. It also gives you some bad sideeffects that last all day, so that getting the smiley face would actually be harder than just pour down and get it.


EDIT: I just realized that with Catnip you could go all Cheshire Cat with this one and oh my god would that be great.

Sounds a bit beyond my abilities at the moment, but I would love to try and make something along those lines

 

[jarllee97]

I added a piece where the PC can ask Nillep about the bottle she drinks from. While at present it doesn't lead to anything I hope to extend it to include additional scenes.

 

[Xeivous]

The race doc is pretty neat, only saw two points that really needed editing.


Also I've got to say that their intention to separate themselves from the rest of the galaxy in order to preserve the genepool sounds like an excellent excuse for our Steele to run into another relative. Especially since it was daddy dearest who discovered them.


Also looking forward to being able to convince Nillep that you are in fact one of Vic's kids.

 

[Lashcharge]

This would be the second imp-like race in the game. I guess they don't intercept because the Vulkrim are male only.

 

[jarllee97]

Also I've got to say that their intention to separate themselves from the rest of the galaxy in order to preserve the genepool sounds like an excellent excuse for our Steele to run into another relative. Especially since it was daddy dearest who discovered them.


Also looking forward to being able to convince Nillep that you are in fact one of Vic's kids.

1. Only difficulty with finding a sibling would be the laws banning surfacers from entering. Any family related to Steele would probably be generations old.


2. I do plan on adding Nillep finding out you are Vics kid eventualy

 

[Xeivous]

1. Only difficulty with finding a sibling would be the laws banning surfacers from entering. Any family related to Steele would probably be generations old.


2. I do plan on adding Nillep finding out you are Vics kid eventualy

Given the church and Vic's sluttyness, I don't find it too hard to believe that he could have a kid or a descendant that our Steele could run into. Plus having a relative other than cousin/half sibling/half niece/uncle in the game would be interesting.

 

[jarllee97]

Given the church and Vic's sluttyness, I don't find it too hard to believe that he could have a kid or a descendant that our Steele could run into. Plus having a relative other than cousin/half sibling/half niece/uncle in the game would be interesting.

Plot twist: the Crown is Vics grandkid

 

[Xeivous]

Plot twist: the Crown is Vics grandkid

So much for the separation of church and state.


and the separation of my junk and my great nibling's junk.

 

[jarllee97]

So much for the separation of church and state.


and the separation of my junk and my great nibling's junk.

Beautiful


Special thanks to Xeivious and Onyx for catching the mistakes I've been making.

 

[jarllee97]

Question. What planet do you think would be a good place to find the shop?


Also what kind of stuff would you like to see?

 

[Xeivous]

Question. What planet do you think would be a good place to find the shop?


Also what kind of stuff would you like to see?

Uveto makes sense to me, though you'd probably have to change the description of the shop a bit. From one Steele mining site to another. Assuming I'm remembering Uveto lore correctly.

 

[jarllee97]

Uveto makes sense to me, though you'd probably have to change the description of the shop a bit. From one Steele mining site to another.

Only issue with Uveto is that the security to get in is very strict, so it seems a little difficult for a person who was smuggled in to not only live there but also sell stuff without a lisence

 

[jarllee97]

So I added the first erotic scene. I would like to note that this is the first time I have written erotica of this type so any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.


I would also like to note that I plan to write variations to include females, taurs, and fem taurs