Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe replace this comma with an ellipses or something to emphasize her hesitation


She helped us a lot, guided us through the ship without tricking us once, but I’ve got a weird gut feeling about her.”

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe change to the tooltip toext to just "What's gotten into her?"

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

change to "take these"

The chromed zaika nods. “Yes. Here, take this. I found them when we searched for a weedkiller,”

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe change gasp to something else. it doesnt really fit very well here.

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

This sentence is fairly redundant. not sure how youd rework it though. maybe something like "three times my energy output and the size of a hovercar" or something along those lines

“My sensors don’t pick up any enemy signatures, but there are thousands of heat signatures. No way! One of them is massive! Three times my size and as large as a hovercar!”

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

not sure if the author meant "healsies" here, but figured id point it out to be safe

Zero Plus sighs. “All good then. Can’t give you tail heatsies if you can’t do tail fuckies,” she giggles before resuming her caresses.

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

this is far from the worst instance, but maybe tweak this a bit to give better indication as to who is speaking in order to prevent confusion

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe move the exclamation mark to the next sentence and replace it with a comma

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

replace "this" with "that"

It’s unfortunate that she took GU-1 with her. This failed excuse for an XO-breaker belonged in the trash!

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

Again, maybe tweak to give better indication as to who is speaking

Spoiler

 

[Jacques00]

Mostly fixed for the next release (not the current one, but the next).

typo in the tooltip for the Physical barrier status, change "fly" to "is flying"

This one is fine as-is. The "debris" is plural and the sentence seems to be in present tense.

Oh boy... ok honestly like half this scene needs some adjustment, namely the first half, in which its almost impossible to tell exactly who is speaking.

Not sure who is speaking, so I've asked the author for clarity.

heatsies

This seems to be a specific word she uses for this one instance, as she uses it for multiple variants of the scene.

 

[Theron]

0.9.155-PUBLIC#6883

A flood of thick spunk gushes across the floor of the freighter as you wilfully empty your prostate, groaning in joy.

The sensation sets you back on edge and suddenly you’re cumming with your ERROR: CockDescript Called But No Cock Present again, doubling over and groaning.

This Steele does not have any penises.
In the Mindwash menu, if it matters.

 

[Jacques00]

0.9.155-PUBLIC#6883

This Steele does not have any penises.
In the Mindwash menu, if it matters.

Yes, it seems like the VR variant doesn't actually carry over any transformations (even if the changes are supposed to be an illusion), so this is a more involved issue than a typo. I'll need a save file for testing, if possible.

 

[Theron]

Yes, it seems like the VR variant doesn't actually carry over any transformations (even if the changes are supposed to be an illusion), so this is a more involved issue than a typo. I'll need a save file for testing, if possible.

Very simple new game, cheated in VR program and Mindwash Visor. Issue does occur.

 

[Jacques00]

Very simple new game, cheated in VR program and Mindwash Visor. Issue does occur.

Thanks, hopefully fixed for the next release. When in the VR version of the scene, the transformations should now be applied to a dummy clone of the player and parse the text from that, then everything should revert back after the scene is done.

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

change "of" to "to", and maybe also add a bit more to the beginning of this scene so its not so much of a run-on, like "You ask Paulette if She's found any clue as to the key's where whereabouts"

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

not the worst case, but another instace of a lack of indication of who is speaking potentially causing confusion

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

here too

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe remove the contraction here


“The time needed for travel’s short, but far from instant — from minutes to hours depending on how far the destination is. I don’t know if being swallowed by a vortex of darkness counts as traveling,”

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe put "frequency/results" in quotation marks or whatever so the reader knows that its the data from the terminal and not some weird typo

Hum... they optimized the energy requirements a lot. It must not be much more power consuming than her arm cannon, but the frequency/results data are all over the place. Be it high or low frequency, the results are the same: catastrophic.

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

three more ambiguous speaker moments

Spoiler

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

again

 

[PanzerGuitar00]

maybe change to "we did it"

Spoiler

For the first time since you entered the E.G.G, she truly relaxes. She wipes the sweat off her forehead and taps your shoulder. “We did it! Stars, we did!”

 

[LeDoraggo]

Missing space during the "Facefuck" scene with the Gryvain Techie:

Your body shudders as you ride the amazing wave, your orgasmic pleasure seeming to last an eternity - even if in reality it’s onlya dozen minutes or so

 

[LeDoraggo]

Double space during the "Titfuck" scene of the Gryvain Techie:

You whip out your knotty dog-cock without another word, loving the way shock gives way to lust in the space of seconds.