Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!

[Jarylan]

New scene on the ship with Paulette, starting her new quest line. (Or so I assume.) There's an orphan quotation mark here that doesn't need to be. Also, perhaps that should be this? This should be fun would flow better, but this might be beyond correcting an error.

“Will do,” you reply. Gangers, artists, illegal establishments, Lithium Flower — that should be fun.”

 

[Jarylan]

Another one that I don't think is wrong...just awkward. Bringing it up in case, this is while setting out on Paulette's new mission. Here would work better as there. You were there for me.

“You were here for me aboard the Gloaming and when Lithium Flower came for us — it’s only fair that I’m here for you today. I’m a bit scared of what we’ll find in the E.G.G. building, but I must be strong for you, and for Jarylan.”

Edit: Finding more awkward word choices. Dunno if Jacques wants me bringing those up yet, so I will wait. But it is the sort of thing my english teachers would call me on, so that's why I am wanting to call them errors.

 

[Jarylan]

So, uh, spoilers for very new stuff. Anyway, just entering the new area for Paulette's quest. There should be a space here and there isn't.

Paulette turns her searchlights on -likely for your benefit, considering her cybernetics — bringing some welcome lighting to the place.

 

[Jarylan]

Still going through the new stuff, met a bounty hunter. There's a line break here that shouldn't be.

“In the bounty hunting business, I’m known as Strict-9, the XO Crusher
, but you can call me Mistress if you want, pet. Now, would you kindly drop your weapons or get close to one another? I don’t wanna waste ammo taking you down one by one.”

 

[Jarylan]

Engaging in combat, Paulette's description here makes it sound like she's an enemy. I think it might be the same text as if you fight her on Tarkus. It also doesn't give her name, but it's in the allied section and it sounds like Paulette.

You perch behind cover wherever you can find it, ready to return fire, side-by-side with your companion.

She’s a towering amazon with powerful, chromed limbs attached to her shredded purple body. Her face, chest, and nethers are concealed by sturdy orange plates. Wicked hardlight claws surge from her draconic arm and legs, lighting the obscured room with a searing glare. An ominous light glows from her right arm-mounted Pyrexxx Annihilator, threatening you with crackling sparks of deadly energy. “Dead or Alive, you are coming with me!”

 

[Jarylan]

After battle with the T4LONs, breastfeeding scene. Missing punctuation here before "Stars", which seems to be the start of a new sentence.

Their adoring eyes are locked on you, revering you like an ancient, merciful goddess Stars, it feels so good being pampered by these sweet jelly beings!

 

[Jarylan]

I think this should be loud speakers? I think it's the loud speakers, unless this is somehow Paulette.

“Enemy aircraft detected! Activating countermeasures!” the loud hailers bark.

 

[Jarylan]

After a T4LON fight, this time getting eaten out. I think this should be big, not bib.

You moan and gasp as its expert kisses milk bib bubbles of pre and rivers of sticky juices out of your paired genitalia.

Same scene, unnecessary line break snuck in after "with".

The harder you go, the harder it retaliates, smooching your honeypot with
delightful abandon.

More from the same scene. Should be grace, so think. I also question "soil" being used, given the location inside a building/ship/thing. Floor would work better.

You whine and shiver, gushing like crazy as you shoot cum all over the soil and graces your cobalt cuntlicker with cascades of fem-cum.

 

[Jarylan]

After another T4LON fight. Should be speakers, and I think crackle?

Loud hailers sizzle. “Entering high solar-intensity area. Deploying solar arrays.”

Dunno if Jacques is gonna love me or hate me after this, but I am sure to be engendering some sort of emotional response from all these findings...