[Accepted] Starchild. A date with a gaseous life form.

[Thebiologist]

So, I'm making a new date for the ExtraMeet. It's a woman and she's made out of ionized gases and electromagnetic forces. The Novakids from Starbound are the closest analogy I could find that's popular enough to be well known.

She tends to go offtopic from time to time, specially if she's nervous, she'll try to change the topic of the conversation. Since it's her first time she's definitely nervous when talking about sex.

Long story short: She's a new species, a gas-ion-magnetic being found by a bunch of scientists and she wants to experience sex with an organic being.

She has 3 rounds of sex, you can stop and leave after each round if you want. On each round you'll discover new aspects of her personality, new dark secrets she's been hiding under her innocent facade.

Fetishes:

--First round: Possession. She accidentally takes control of your body and decides to masturbate. A lot of variants depending on your anatomy. If you have tailcok/cunt you'll use them.

--Second scene: Oral, you get serviced by Starchild.

--Third round: Sex. It varies depending on what you have, if you have a dick you dommy-fuck her, but if you're a pure female you get to be the submissive as she pounds your pussy with some rough fingering and tribadism.


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Readable version

Link to the readable version

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All her content is done, right now I want to focus on editing, fixing punctuation, odd sentences that don't flow naturally, phrasing, grammar, etc.

I'll also rewrite some stuff based on people's suggestions, big thanks to Lorealie (whoever that is on the forums) for his/her help on that regard.

 

[Crablord]

i didnt actually read much of it since i dont want to spoil anything, but nice.

 

[Thebiologist]

Well, it's been a week since I finished the project and I've barely worked on editing. I've shifted through most of the talk scenes, fixing inconsistencies, typos and weird stuff, but this week's been a nightmare IRL, I seriously should sleep more. It doesn't help that in the meantime I wrote another project in 3 days (actually 2 since I didn't write in one of those days) and began working on a third.

I swear I'll focus on editing from now on and I swear I'll try to sleep properly. I hope I can get this project submission worthy at some point, it's gonna be hard with my weird English, but with some luck and effort, I hope this gets in-game, so everyone can enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

 

[Xeivous]

I'll be honest that the name just reminds me of a bit of 40k lore and it's kinda distracting.

Interesting idea though.

 

[Raindrops]

I'll be honest that the name just reminds me of a bit of 40k lore and it's kinda distracting.

Interesting idea though.

It reminds me of the Mass Effect 3 ending....

[*Saltyness intensifies*]

 

[Thebiologist]

Well, I finally finished rewriting, and editing. Boy it took me 3 weeks to write the NPC and 2 weeks to edit it. Guess now i'll have to index the freaking document and submit it.

 

[Thebiologist]

I've finally submitted the damn thing. sorry I've been hibernating lately, caught a harsh flu this week and I've had very high fever, and I kept writing an editing like an idiot. So anyways, Status: Submitted.

I had fun writing the character, making the science behind her species, and I think i learned a lot from the experience for future projects. So, even if it doesn't get in game, I think I've grown a bit as a writer.

 

[Crablord]

but at what cost

 

[PalletTown]

Fuck it, I'm game.

 

[Vento]

Did a first pass to correct minor typos and some minor rearranging here and there. Hope it helps.

Even if the character does not make it into the game, you should not give up. Your writing is quite good.

 

[Thebiologist]

Did a first pass to correct minor typos and some minor rearranging here and there. Hope it helps.

Even if the character does not make it into the game, you should not give up. Your writing is quite good.

Thanks, I'll check them tomorrow. right now I should be in bed.

 

[Thebiologist]

Did a first pass to correct minor typos and some minor rearranging here and there. Hope it helps.

Even if the character does not make it into the game, you should not give up. Your writing is quite good.

Gotta say. You did an amazing, thorough job. I have to thank you. This is my first smut project, and coming back to it after writing so much more reminds me of how much I've learned in just a few months. Hell, I should give it a couple more passes to make paragraphs flow better.

 

[Vento]

Gotta say. You did an amazing, thorough job. I have to thank you. This is my first smut project, and coming back to it after writing so much more reminds me of how much I've learned in just a few months. Hell, I should give it a couple more passes to make paragraphs flow better.

You are welcome. It was a first pass, so there's certainly the odd bit that I overlooked in the 60+ pages. If you are going to tinker some more, I'll wait until you are done before rechecking the document.

 

[Thebiologist]

You are welcome. It was a first pass, so there's certainly the odd bit that I overlooked in the 60+ pages. If you are going to tinker some more, I'll wait until you are done before rechecking the document.

Not gonna add anything new really, just split some paragraphs so it doesn't show as a wall of text.

 

[Vento]

Not gonna add anything new really, just split some paragraphs so it doesn't show as a wall of text.

OK

 

[Thebiologist]

I've been doing a third pass on this doc. Using all the knowledge I've gained from the next projects. I wanted to format it a bit better and increase the overall quality of the scenes, focusing on removing repetition and a better use of synonyms and adjectives. So far i'm on page 45/68. So, hopefully it will only take a few more days before i'm done and resume writing for my other project.

 

[Thebiologist]

Just posting to let everyone know I'm not dead. I stopped writing because this project is getting reviewed by Fen so I'm working on making the necessary edits to get it in-game.

 

[Thebiologist]

Alright, this one got accepted. We might see her in the future.