Riya 3: Remove Kebatra(Proofreaders needed)

RanmaChan

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Mar 17, 2017
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The Frozen North, Canada
Alright, I have made a number of edits and suggestions. I hope they help!
A question though, why did Riya save Grance? If she really hates aliens that much, so far as to say that they should be killed, why not just let them die? It is the next best thing.
Maybe I just don't understand the character.
 

Ethereal Dragon

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
2,003
559
Alright, I have made a number of edits and suggestions. I hope they help!
A question though, why did Riya save Grance? If she really hates aliens that much, so far as to say that they should be killed, why not just let them die? It is the next best thing.
Maybe I just don't understand the character.

hmmm maybe Riya gets in the upper brasses good graces by saving someone of superior rank? Or maybe she's got a soft spot for the puppy? who knows!?
 

Zavos

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May 7, 2016
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I read this for the first time in full REEEEEEEEE mode.
Now i am deflated and dissapointed.
 

Lkynmbr24

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Oct 30, 2016
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Reaper113

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Mar 29, 2016
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Didn't known you already had a firm stance on the whole backstory thing that would of saved a lot of writing. Anyways i like this game a lot since i too was here when it was just coc and tits was starting out and I'm glad to stick with it for so long. And like i said in the first post i made i actually started to like the character after seeing the big picture of her being on the station and wanted to see something new from her personality now that the secret has been exposed but if the author wants to keep things the same so be it.

As for riya sub content how about getting her to put on that sub collar or take her to va groom and give her the mega super deluxe sub training which cost a ton of money due to her being their toughest job yet.
 

Jacques00

Administrator
Moderator
Aug 26, 2015
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I have had bug reports for previous Riya content to fix numerous instances where you word your sentences like:
So she's not mad at Grence for removing her, you ask?

Because that sentence structure is off, I would recommend rephrasing such sentences in a few possible ways:
  • You ask her why she's not mad at Grence for removing her. (narrative questioning)
  • "So you're not mad at Grence for removing you?" you ask. (literal questioning, new line after this)
  • "So," you ask, "you're not mad at Grence for removing you?" (literal questioning, new line after this)
  • So she's not mad about Grence for removing her? (inferred questioning, new line after this)

Hope this helps.
 

Kirovreporting

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2015
69
13
Alright, I have made a number of edits and suggestions. I hope they help!
A question though, why did Riya save Grance? If she really hates aliens that much, so far as to say that they should be killed, why not just let them die? It is the next best thing.
Maybe I just don't understand the character.
The reason that everyone who reads a Riya doc says "wait, how can human-centric xenophobia work in a setting where species all work together United Federation of Planets style?" is beacause it doesn't, espescially not on an individual scale. She wouldn't have made it anywhere in any branch of the military, espescially not a multi-species deniable black-ops group, if she really was that racist, she just pretends to be for shits and giggles because she knows it gets under some people's skin.
Y'know, like a bunch of people in this thread.
 
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XBoxMaster131

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Oct 18, 2016
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Man, I really wish it was something more vengence-like. What I wouldn't give to see that bitch get what's coming to her...:(
@Franks Maybe sometime in the future?
 
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EmperorG

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Sep 6, 2015
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I find this x-pac hilarious in that it gives people what they want, to remove Riya, without actually giving them what they actually want. Though I'm a bit disappointed Riya doesn't comment on your actions during the raid as much as Grence does.

I will also second Nooby's suggestion that Riya allow futa to submit to her, because I doubt many who would want to do so would also be willing to get rid of their D too.

She's totally repressing some alien-fetish.

Well I suppose that would make sense on some level, it's kinda like how a lot of homophobes are also homosexual.
 

XBoxMaster131

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Oct 18, 2016
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@EmperorG Don't worry, I HIGHLY doubt he's done with Riya. This is probably just something to ride us over for a while (and/or troll us a bit) while he works on the real deal.
 

Woider

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Aug 26, 2015
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Well I suppose that would make sense on some level, it's kinda like how a lot of homophobes are also homosexual.
Sing along with me guys!
Because Ted Haggard is completely heterosexual, Ted Haggard is completely heretosexual, Ted Haggard is completely heterosexual! Glory how he blew ya!
 

PuppyPrincess

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May 13, 2017
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I was worried this meant Riya was disappearing at first and then I wouldn't have anyone to degrade me for being an adorable puppy.
 

Milkman

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Aug 28, 2015
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Yeah I'm thinking a sub Riya route should probably involve Beatrice.
 

Gear Grinder

Member
Jan 6, 2016
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Well I was thinking. What if PC acquires one of Doctor Belle’s Sub-tuner Collars and gives it to Riya as a gift and give her some proper submissive etiquette?
 

NotYouNorI

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Aug 26, 2015
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Well I was thinking. What if PC acquires one of Doctor Belle’s Sub-tuner Collars and gives it to Riya as a gift and give her some proper submissive etiquette?
Ye Riya would pretty sure like to have you as her literal pet.
 

Noob Salad

Captain Shitpost
Aug 26, 2015
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I wouldn't mind more content a la Kelt either, actually. Both paths would be fine with me. Although if I had to choose, definitely sub Riya.
 

Ormael

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Aug 27, 2015
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Does sub Riya path fits with Franks vision of this npc? She not looks like someone to sudden turn sub.
 

Noob Salad

Captain Shitpost
Aug 26, 2015
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Except Franks explicitly said he was doing sub Riya and needed ideas.
 

Alabaster Chimes

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Aug 29, 2015
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As long as sub Riya is the slow burn kind (Takes awhile to do) then I think i have an idea.

Riya doesnt seem like someone who would back down from a challenge, so the PC simply offers her one (A bit like Syri's bar scenes). I mean she clearly superior to a filthy alien/ rich kid right? Have something on the line, perhaps someone being on top? or gets some ass for day from the loser?

If Riya loses she'll sure be upset, but a deal is a deal so she goes along with what you and her betted. After some hot dom stuff for whoever the victor is, lets go with Steele, later on another bet could be placed as Riya would want to get back at you.

Win enough times and she eventually likes the after-play, succumbing to whatever depravity you do to her. It culminates to her being your sub. She can keep the same attitude to keep up appearances with everyone else, but we all know what she really wants:smuggo:.

This, essentially, is almost identical to how Izma from CoC worked, which I thought was done VERY well. Especially because it could be a double edged sword. Lose enough times to Izma and you become the sub to your new Alpha. The same idea could apply to Riya.

It could be a test of combat, strength, or Video Games (After all she likes playing them). Maybe tweaking this system with your own twist could work out better. Maybe some subtle manipulation to quicken the process, or some dommy sex stuff like slave Sera.

If you were gonna do this, I wouldnt make the option of making her a follower like Izma due to it being more than a hassle. Also for Nooby, I wouldnt de-dick her. That may cause to much sadness for the poor bastard.

This is me just throwing my hat into the ring. Whatever you wind up doing, I know it will be good and I look forward to seeing it.
 
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Ormael

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Aug 27, 2015
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For that part of test you meantioned using Video Games may make her really similar to Syri that some may mistake her for 'that gamer ausar' that we all know as Syri.
 

Alabaster Chimes

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Aug 29, 2015
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For that part of test you meantioned using Video Games may make her really similar to Syri that some may mistake her for 'that gamer ausar' that we all know as Syri.

I have trouble thinking that anyone could confuse the two. But out of what I said, the Video Games would be the weakest to use. I was just using her likes as a way you could get her attention. It would work fine if there were multiple tests, but that depends if he even does my idea.
 

Reaper113

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Mar 29, 2016
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That's a great idea with the slow burn but what about male pc since i don't think riya is into dudes unless its been stated she has no preference