[Ren'py] A Town Uncovered [Visual Novel - Alpha 0.12]

Silas Crowley

Member
Jan 27, 2016
19
8
GeeSeki,
I won't call ATU an original work; Summertime Saga, Town of Passion and other games all fit into your genre as competitors. They are not easy opponents to face either; you're going head-to-head with creative, powerful and well-funded projects at what looks to me like a disadvantage. You have a rather small team. You're barely into your alpha stages. Your funding, by comparison, is small.

But A Town Uncovered is a fucking great piece of work. This is one of the best H-games I've played. And what did you do so impeccably well-?
Your otherwise unremarkable game, built on an unoriginal premise, has vibrant originality.

At first, I was only playing this to compare it to SS. I didn't have expectations. But- I really liked your story. Plot, expectedly, is usually boring in a lot of porn games. But you play into the alternate-universe thing so well, and you hold you cards to your chest in dishing out the plot just well enough to instill anticipation and suspicion, to such an effect that even the short, short episode of plot currently in the game is actually a remarkably entertaining experience! I greatly enjoyed it. I might even come to love it, should you continue it.

I'm going to emphasize this to you: you tell an unoriginal story in a very original way. The characters are all very flavorful. There is an appreciable, underlying humor that clouds the game like an atmosphere of perfume. I was hooked; and it wasn't your art, or your game's premise, but that your storytelling hooks the player in! Because you make the characters to lively I actually become INTERESTED in resolving their individual storylines, even if I didn't like them originally on a personal basis. I'm not sure which one of you pulled this off! But it's damn fantastic, and you need to pat them on the back.

So for your future development, GeeSeki, I've got a suggestion: don't change anything about your art or resources. Don't even tweak the writing style, or the direction of the plot, or even the things a few people are getting damn angry about.

Instead, literally just keep on doing what you've done up until now, and emphasize that to whoever did the story work, character design and plot. Your game is very good as what it is. It is unique and endearing- almost loveable! You only need to continue growing it, and I am sure you will win an audience as elated with ATU as me.

But no review is without criticism; is the angry mom scene pretty much as Jash says?
Sure- from a gameplay perspective, it's an utter failure. The stats are wonky and unorthodox too.

And I love both these things.
The writer knows that, eventually, the player will do something other than cuddle his mom one night. Why-? Because he wrote the player as a teenage boy! He's coming-of-age, he's reckless and full of desire. Is a teenage boy really going to be perfect? And could I seriously believe in his incestuous romance without as substantial a hiccup as what occurs during mom's quest line?

It is not a failure. It may be that way from a certain perspective. But people who will feel that way are better off playing some of the other games. That scene brilliantly portrays very believable drama in such a way that grips the reader. No offense at Jash, but, well, look how angry it made him! Not even the most toxic drivel on social media provokes such fervor. Even if he was poignantly agitated, what the game did was put passion into him, even if of the undesired kind. That is the measure by which you determine art: this game is a great, great thing.

And you better not change a fuckin' thing: keep making more content!

With sincere regards and best wishes,
Silas Crowley
 
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Jash

Well-Known Member
Oct 8, 2015
613
247
But no review is without criticism; is the angry mom scene pretty much as Jash says?
Sure- from a gameplay perspective, it's an utter failure. The stats are wonky and unorthodox too.

And I love both these things.
The writer knows that, eventually, the player will do something other than cuddle his mom one night. Why-? Because he wrote the player as a teenage boy! He's coming-of-age, he's reckless and full of desire. Is a teenage boy really going to be perfect? And could I seriously believe in his incestuous romance without as substantial a hiccup as what occurs during mom's quest line?

It is not a failure. It may be that way from a certain perspective. But people who will feel that way are better off playing some of the other games. That scene brilliantly portrays very believable drama in such a way that grips the reader. No offense at Jash, but, well, look how angry it made him! Not even the most toxic drivel on social media provokes such fervor. Even if he was poignantly agitated, what the game did was put passion into him, even if of the undesired kind. That is the measure by which you determine art: this game is a great, great thing.

And you better not change a fuckin' thing: keep making more content!
OK, I'm not trying to start shit here, but I really don't appreciate you using my criticism this way. Just for starters, you're being incredibly hyperbolic: "Not even the most toxic drivel on social media provokes such fervor."? I wasn't even angry, merely (as I said) annoyed, and when I criticise something I go as in-depth as possible to make sure the creator fully understands where I'm coming from, that's all. You haven't seen me angry.

And frankly, your logic is rather ass-backwards: "this guy really thinks this needs to be changed; that's PERFECT proof that it doesn't need to be changed"? Apart from executive meddling, nothing damages a work more than anti-criticism: telling a creator that their work is perfect, nothing needs to be changed or improved, and that any criticisms should be ignored. If heeded, that leads to an echo chamber where actual improvement never happens and is actively harmful to the work's development. Hell, I criticised the game before (on the Patreon page) for the stats being completely fucked, only for GeeSeki to admit that he knew they were completely fucked and he was in the middle of reworking them. Sometimes a work's flaws DO add to its flavour, but you should never tell a creator "don't do anything different, you can't possibly do any better than you are already".

And regarding the player playing out the role of a teenage boy, I find it doesn't pay to overestimate the creators of amateur games. I once praised Pact With A Witch for how it approached the old double-standard that "a guy is a stud while a girl is a slut" through the way that Didac becomes a nymphomaniac when he's turned into a girl, even though he knows that having sex could be catastrophic for him, because he's just being exactly as horny as a girl as he was as a guy- only for johnnymelabo to immediately contradict me and tell me that, no, there's something unnatural making him act that way. That was a big let-down. Maybe GeeSeki intentionally wrote the story this way because he was intending the player to be as easily-distracted and unreliable as the teenage boy character they're controlling... or maybe he didn't.
 
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GeeSeki

Member
Feb 7, 2017
15
3
@Jash and @Silas Crowley

Just wanted to make a statement about that scene about the mother and the MC arguing based on what my thought process was behind writing that scene even before I read your reviews.

Firstly, I want to mention that at this stage of development, there obviously aren't many characters to pursue but I had the intention that when there are multiple characters to tend to, this is the section of mother's story where she would suddenly act selfish and would desire to have ALL of your time, the character's time and the player's time. This is the reason why the objectives says 'keep going' instead of failing because it's intended to force you to spend your time with her instead of other girls. This is the setup to the conflict. I can probably change that to 'miss or skip a day' for now and change it back when other characters are more fleshed out?

When looking at the overall spine of Mom's storyline, It was going up at a steady pace, that's what people wanted, growth in the relationship but I felt that was too straightforward and boring. Somewhere in the middle, I knew there had to be conflict for 2 reasons; first reason being conflict existed in the 3-act story structure (which I didn't follow religiously but I knew a general jist of it), and second, as the creator, I wanted to tell the player that this isn't one mindless, ezpz, smooth and steady rise to the peak but that there will be a steep downfall somewhere in between.

A character is a Marysue unless they have flaws, right? Just like most players of adult-dating sims, this MC is greedy and selfish when it comes to women. The need to have everything, every girl for themselves. Yes, I'm actually using that against them in this case and most likely in future cases for conflict as I believe that is a hidden theme that underlies most if not all dating sims themselves, not necessarily the actual story of x dating sim.

At first, I didn't know about this hatred for Nice Time for Roo (in a story telling sense) in this community until they voiced it to me with great volume and yet, I still wanted to have that conflict of 'the mother doesn't belong to the MC but belongs to her husband'. A dilemma that makes perfect sense and isn't unethical at all. Incest is illegal in most places, taboo, and unethical, that's what makes it great amongst most of us in the community, weird how it's twisted like that, huh? Anyway, the concept of Nice Time for Roo is hated though in this situation, most arguments go along the lines of 'I hate being cucked but technically they're a married couple and I'm the incestuous outsider of their relationship so I don't know what to feel other than the immediate, I AM A BIG STINKY BRAIN or no I AM A BIG STINKY BRAIN.' I could've picked another conflict but at the time, I couldn't think of any other conflict that would make the player have the slightest hatred for the mother while still portraying her as someone desirable during the moment. I came to the conclusion that there was one thing in mom's story that would make the MC turn into the salty, bad guy while still having mom do nothing wrong and that's having sex with her own husband. Of course, upon seeing that scene in the livingroom, the player would've pointed fingers at the father but looking at the mother's role in the situation, she has 'betrayed' this ethically wrong relationship that the MC and she have developed. Any other conflict was too easy for the player to brush off and still have 100% love for the mother.

As for the actual argument between the mother and the MC, I have mentioned in the comments on Patreon that I, myself am not happy with the flow of it and will rework it so the resolution isn't so abrupt and the actual arguments aren't cheap.

That's basically the whole breakdown of that scene in my mind and why it's constructed as it is. It's far from perfect close up but from afar, I feel that it has a place in the game.
 
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Karatekid

New Member
May 23, 2018
3
0
26
Can someone please tell me what to do when it tells you to check on your sister. I can’t ever find her. I don’t know when or where I am supposed to meet her to complete that objective
 

Tinman

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
777
233
Can someone please tell me what to do when it tells you to check on your sister. I can’t ever find her. I don’t know when or where I am supposed to meet her to complete that objective

Try her room during different time periods. If she's not there at any time then that part of the story probably isn't complete yet.
 

Karatekid

New Member
May 23, 2018
3
0
26
Try her room during different time periods. If she's not there at any time then that part of the story probably isn't complete yet.
Hey thanks for responding, but I have checked her room pretty much every time of day on all days aND she is never there. Do u have any idea what I need to have done in the game to make her appear?
 

Tinman

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
777
233
Hey thanks for responding, but I have checked her room pretty much every time of day on all days aND she is never there. Do u have any idea what I need to have done in the game to make her appear?

Not at the moment, I was just generalizing from my experience with incomplete VNs. Haven't played since version 0.6c so I'm downloading the latest now. If I find the answer I'll let you know.

Two things you can try for now, I remember older versions having a scene with the sister blowing a guy at the beach changing rooms. She also is supposed to work somewhere at the mall, so if that content has been added you might find her there.
 

Karatekid

New Member
May 23, 2018
3
0
26
Not at the moment, I was just generalizing from my experience with incomplete VNs. Haven't played since version 0.6c so I'm downloading the latest now. If I find the answer I'll let you know.

Two things you can try for now, I remember older versions having a scene with the sister blowing a guy at the beach changing rooms. She also is supposed to work somewhere at the mall, so if that content has been added you might find her there.
Hey thanks again. I have run into her at the beach in the changing rooms doing various things, but it doesn't allow you to interact with her to complete the objective there. I remember it saying about her having a job, but I don't think that is in the game yet. I would think it is some point at home, but to be honest I'm lost
 

Tinman

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
777
233
Hey thanks again. I have run into her at the beach in the changing rooms doing various things, but it doesn't allow you to interact with her to complete the objective there. I remember it saying about her having a job, but I don't think that is in the game yet. I would think it is some point at home, but to be honest I'm lost

I'm trying it out now. Did you download a patch to enable incest content? Thanks to Patreon's rule change those routes have been blocked off in the main game.
 

rotor

Member
Oct 3, 2015
23
1
Can someone please tell me what to do when it tells you to check on your sister. I can’t ever find her. I don’t know when or where I am supposed to meet her to complete that objective
Have you got the scrunched up piece of paper from her room floor? IIRC it's either that or you have to meet in the living room.
 

Tinman

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
777
233
Can someone please tell me what to do when it tells you to check on your sister. I can’t ever find her. I don’t know when or where I am supposed to meet her to complete that objective

I've played through all of the sister's story in version .16 and never saw an objective that just tells you to check on her. The closest I saw was to check her room and check her livestream. Checking her room there's a small piece of paper in the middle of the room with her schedule on it. That schedule includes a Wednesday Afternoon stream you can watch on the computer in your bedroom.