PLAN B

[Karakara]

The angle I was going for was "socially inexperienced tsundere". You think I can't pull it off?

e: maybe I'm not communicating my thoughts as well as I could be. I apparently have a really bad habit of that. Rest assured, I have a plan for Raizel and her character, just trust.

I was more so curious on how you will write her opening up/softening while keeping her seemingly callous/self-centered during sex without it feeling jarring. Than I remembered that PC could just be into that kind of treatment (like me) and that we could separate bedroom stuff from romance.

I am in full support of contradiction of terms when it comes to smut.

 

[Sidrake]

Not an other Octavia in snake version please, I really not like that. But, if I understand we havn't many dom in game, I hope not have an other one this is too much.

I trust you to do a good content and interresting story with Raizel until the end we have a true treasure we can love like Zo, or Aileh (after all, their background story is rich and very interresting, Zo a mystery monk who decide doesn't restore her voice after hurted, Aileh, adoptive daughter of a demon who never know the love but in the end she truly love the pg with kindness).

I hope see a Raizel learn to know us and trust us to evolve in a true lover with a true love story, because I must be honest even is an adult game I'm a little bored too found so many man and girl in game with soo empty background where the only reason they love you is because your the PG and nothing more.

I think we have Cait, Lyric, Kyioko, Ahmri/Atani (but is more hero syndrome I think for her), Rindo, Tetsuya, Hana, Zo, Aileh, Ryn, Dalhiza, and perhaps Varena ( hope not forgot other^^ but think not) have a true love story, a rich background and a really good reason to love the Pg.

All the other (and they are many) have no reason to love until you not tell them, it's always a empty story with them. But is my opinion so I just hope I can add a new true lover with that amazing sneak girl with a true reason to love her.

To resume my think do what you want B and don't worry. I just hope you not create an other dom monster like we have with Octavia or Kalysea and hope see a woman who hurted by life and in the end, found with the pg, her other half, she can love and trust.

Whisper : (however if you add tranformative like Ryn and Cait for her breast and other, I'm not complain XD)

 

[MarcoPolo121]

Raizel is a fully naga woman, with a snake-like lower body and a cobra-like upper body, but with arms, a torso, and breasts, because of course. She's directly inspired by the Vipers from XCom 2. She's also futa (sorry if you hate that).

See, this sounds like it could be great. I love the X-Com reboot games, and Vipers do indeed make me feel something something. And her being a futa didn't have to be a dealbreaker...

I also intend to write pregnancy content for her as my submission for this year's Mayternity.

This also sounds promising.

As a lover, Raizel is selfish and aggressive: she only cares about her pleasure, and your own is secondary. You cumming is a nice bonus, but if she doesn't, you're continuing until she does. [...] (her sex scenes won't really change wrt who's on top, her aggression, etc, mostly because that'd be three times the work and Savin only has so much money and patience).

...Aaaaand there's the other shoe.

Look, I don't mean to kinkshame anyone, but I have zero interest in fucking any more dommy, selfish, and/or aggressive futas in this game or any other. It's not just that my tastes align elsewhere outside this one apparently well-demanded niche, but all too often, they are coded to only allow a very particular dynamic, i.e. us as the (masochistic) sub to their (sadistic) dom, in their sex scenes regardless of their other merits. And I've hit a hard limit on how much I can stomach this. I think Kalysea broke something in me, y'know like I can't even go back to the NPCS I used to enjoy before now. Which is a real shame.

 

[SmithEK]

Will she be impregnating champ or is she getting pregnant? Or both?

 

[Karakara]

I hope that there will be a scene where she cradles pregnant champ all possessively and protectively. I just want her to obsesses over our gravid state.

 

[D'Angelo]

See, this sounds like it could be great. I love the X-Com reboot games, and Vipers do indeed make me feel something something. And her being a futa didn't have to be a dealbreaker...

This also sounds promising.

...Aaaaand there's the other shoe.

Look, I don't mean to kinkshame anyone, but I have zero interest in fucking any more dommy, selfish, and/or aggressive futas in this game or any other. It's not just that my tastes align elsewhere outside this one apparently well-demanded niche, but all too often, they are coded to only allow a very particular dynamic, i.e. us as the (masochistic) sub to their (sadistic) dom, in their sex scenes regardless of their other merits. And I've hit a hard limit on how much I can stomach this. I think Kalysea broke something in me, y'know like I can't even go back to the NPCS I used to enjoy before now. Which is a real shame.

I feel the same, friend, but I have some hope for this one, from the quick peek I took at Bs doc, this character seems to have a sex menu, which suggests you can choose scenes from it yourself. So if there are no mandatory bottom scenes and I can just manually always pick the topping ones, that's fine for me.

I hope that there will be a scene where she cradles pregnant champ all possessively and protectively. I just want her to obsesses over our gravid state.

I hope she's the one getting preggers.

 

[NinjaTacos]

A character you have to fight five times to progress with, whose combat can be skipped (possibly skipped unintentionally; I only skimmed through the start of the doc but it seemed like the options as to what would start a fight with her weren't super clear), who only appears as a random encounter on six tiles (which you don't even need to 'explore' to progress through), five of which can be skipped by a Waystone after visiting them once... I feel like a player who hasn't learned about her from the community or wiki, and who therefore isn't actively seeking her out, will encounter her once at most, and then never see her again.

I like the concept of her personality/story a lot, and maybe I've misunderstood the details of how she's met... but if not, then I would be concerned that with this setup, you're writing a character that most players will never know exists.

 

[B]

Updated Raizel with 14k words! Lots of content, including: 2 oral sex scenes; 2 talk scenes (not very fleshed out but I plan to come back to later); her appearance; some interactions in her home; and more!

It’s a long-lasting, gentle massage that coaxes a reaction of your own: your body tenses, and your [pc.cock] throbs and lurches in the rolling, heavy depths of Raizel’s coils, squeezed in front and around, while teased and poked and stroked by Raizel’s dexterous tail, forbidding your dick from going soft but refusing to give it the attention it so badly needs. With one last pulse, your dick lurches, and a thick, viscous jet of your [pc.cum] launches from you, slamming against the underside of Raizel’s coils, painting them [pc.cumColor].

Rope after rope of your cream wrings from your cock, and as she shifts and rolls against you, the fluids mix and mesh between the folds of her coils, making all the rocking motions she makes against you and herself all the slicker and smoother. Is it one massive orgasm, with one rope connecting straight into the next? Or is it a rolling number of smaller orgasms, where one wanes only for another to pick up the second her tail caresses another sensitive part of your already-overstimulated cock? You’re so oxygen-deprived that you can barely remember what race you are, much less your orgasm count[silly|.

It's [pc.raceCute], by the way. You think].

“Well, [pc.name], you’ve done it,” she says as she works her way up your body, round and round your form. “You’ve got me interested.”

Unlike every time up until now, whenever she did this, her grip was ironclad: you couldn’t move a muscle, and if she squeezed just a little harder, she could crush every bone in your body. This time, though, her grip is loose enough that you have reasonable movement in your arms and legs, capable of bending at the knees and elbows, and your breathing is totally unrestricted. Hell, you could probably pull yourself out and leave, if you wanted.

By the time she’s done coiling herself around your body, she’s still ‘taller’ than you by a head and shoulders, but she rests her elbows on her own tail and her chin on both her upturned hands. “Normally, if all you’re after is an easy nut, then, whatever,” she says as her tongue flicks out, tasting the air between your face and hers, close enough to your nose that you can feel the moisture on it. “Gods know it’s some of the easiest action I’ve ever gotten. But this time? Nah. Not interested.”

[pc.isBimbo|Not sex? That’s literally a first with Raizel. But you’re not against it: talking is <b>like</b> foreplay, if you’re both on the same wavelength and know what to say and what not to say. Talking is fun! Sometimes you’re bad at it, sometimes you go on for too long, and <b>sometimes</b>, you’re bad at it. Hopefully she’s okay with that.|You ask her what it is she’d like to do this time, then, if not sex. Inwardly, you thank the opportunity to visit her without your ribs pressing into your lungs.]

She studies you for another moment, her eyes boring holes into yours as she searches you for something. Something she can’t find, but that doesn’t make her angry: it makes her intrigued. “Well, you’re a person, ain’t ya?” she asks, her mouth curling wryly. “A person with thoughts and opinions and memories and shit. If I’m not gonna pick your ass with my dick, then we might as well pick each other’s brains. With our words, and stuff.”

Despite you not getting any tacit, reciprocal pleasure, the inside of Raizel’s coils is… oddly relaxing. The continuous motion of her tail as it ripples around you in a circular pattern, tight to the point of being difficult, but not what you would call painful, almost reminds you of being tucked into bed a little too thoroughly. The blood pumps through not just the cock in your mouth, but all throughout her tail, acting as a sort of metronome lullaby. Coupled with the light oxygen deprivation, your thoughts begin to wander, leaving your body to pilot itself. How many hearts does Raizel have, you wonder? Can a body this gigantic really be powered by just one?

Although your eye contact hasn’t broken, you’re not really ‘present’ in the moment. Raizel smiles to herself as she looks down at you, and her fingers swirl little patterns on the back of your head. Her cock, likewise, spins little circles inside your mouth. “I recognize that look,” she says, but doesn’t elaborate.

The pace maintains its casual speed. There’s no rush: you’re in no position, let alone the state of mind, to be in a hurry to go anywhere, and Raizel is perfectly content with fucking your face at her leisure. Her hips do most of the work, but sometimes, her cock curls up and lunges forward, mimicking the pace and positioning of the rest of her body. Your job is to exist, your mouth open, breathing whatever air you can whenever you can get it, and let Raizel do what she likes. It’s an easy job.

A character you have to fight five times to progress with, whose combat can be skipped (possibly skipped unintentionally; I only skimmed through the start of the doc but it seemed like the options as to what would start a fight with her weren't super clear), who only appears as a random encounter on six tiles (which you don't even need to 'explore' to progress through), five of which can be skipped by a Waystone after visiting them once... I feel like a player who hasn't learned about her from the community or wiki, and who therefore isn't actively seeking her out, will encounter her once at most, and then never see her again.

I like the concept of her personality/story a lot, and maybe I've misunderstood the details of how she's met... but if not, then I would be concerned that with this setup, you're writing a character that most players will never know exists.

Those are good points. She's meant to be akin to TiTS's Frosty in that she's a signposted encounter, a hostile NPC that you can eventually romance, without any of the obliqueness and obtuseness that Frosty had, and making it obvious that there's more to her than just her being a random encounter (if the fact that she says and does nothing after combat, in a game where nearly every combat encounter ends with something, isn't signpost enough), but she's still a random encounter on a set of tiles that the player won't be frequenting. With how her narrative is currently set up, it'd be too much of a stretch to make her an encounter all throughout the Undermountain, but I may be able to widen her encounter tables a bit.

Look, I don't mean to kinkshame anyone, but I have zero interest in fucking any more dommy, selfish, and/or aggressive futas in this game or any other. It's not just that my tastes align elsewhere outside this one apparently well-demanded niche, but all too often, they are coded to only allow a very particular dynamic, i.e. us as the (masochistic) sub to their (sadistic) dom, in their sex scenes regardless of their other merits. And I've hit a hard limit on how much I can stomach this. I think Kalysea broke something in me, y'know like I can't even go back to the NPCS I used to enjoy before now. Which is a real shame.

The intent with Raizel is to give her a growing affection meter, and the higher it is, the more attuned she is to the PC and their needs. Her priorities eventually go from "I need to get off and I don't care about you getting off" to "I need to get off and also you need to get off". As I'm writing her right now, though, her affection is something I intend to add later to just about everything: from how she greets you, to how you speak to her, to how she fucks you (although I'm not going to be too in-depth on that last one, apart from the climaxes, because that's a lot already). So a lot of her current content is focused on the base interactions, i.e. she's a selfish jerk. You can improve her affection by speaking with her, having sex with her, and giving her gifts to improve her living conditions, but if you want her to stay being an asshole because you're into that or whatever, I intend to put in some gates (that are clearly signposted).

Point is: I have a plan. Admittedly, I'm winging the execution on this one - I'm doing the sex before I do the talk topics, gifts, etc, which is unusual for me, I usually do the sex last - but I have goals with Raizel.

Will she be impregnating champ or is she getting pregnant? Or both?

I only imagined the PC knocking her up. I could do both, but it depends on how huge her doc is by the time I get there.

 

[David1023]

If the work load isn't too much then I would love for her to knock up my MC.

 

[LonelyHydra]

Those are good points. She's meant to be akin to TiTS's Frosty in that she's a signposted encounter, a hostile NPC that you can eventually romance, without any of the obliqueness and obtuseness that Frosty had, and making it obvious that there's more to her than just her being a random encounter (if the fact that she says and does nothing after combat, in a game where nearly every combat encounter ends with something, isn't signpost enough), but she's still a random encounter on a set of tiles that the player won't be frequenting. With how her narrative is currently set up, it'd be too much of a stretch to make her an encounter all throughout the Undermountain, but I may be able to widen her encounter tables a bit.

Sounds similar to how you unlock Arona too. Neat.

 

[twible]

Question on Raizel.

Is there a path toward improving her affection without sex? Eg options for just the talk, gifts and better conditions. So you could pick the sex options after Raizel is more interested in you, rather than from the start, when Raizel is just wants to use you to get off.

 

[MarcoPolo121]

The intent with Raizel is to give her a growing affection meter, and the higher it is, the more attuned she is to the PC and their needs. Her priorities eventually go from "I need to get off and I don't care about you getting off" to "I need to get off and also you need to get off". As I'm writing her right now, though, her affection is something I intend to add later to just about everything: from how she greets you, to how you speak to her, to how she fucks you (although I'm not going to be too in-depth on that last one, apart from the climaxes, because that's a lot already). So a lot of her current content is focused on the base interactions, i.e. she's a selfish jerk. You can improve her affection by speaking with her, having sex with her, and giving her gifts to improve her living conditions, but if you want her to stay being an asshole because you're into that or whatever, I intend to put in some gates (that are clearly signposted).

Point is: I have a plan. Admittedly, I'm winging the execution on this one - I'm doing the sex before I do the talk topics, gifts, etc, which is unusual for me, I usually do the sex last - but I have goals with Raizel.

I mean, that's nice and all, but unless those later stages when she actually cares about us are some of the most heartfelt, wholesome content in the game, I'm not sure I want to go through the early stages for it. I put up with Sera's nastier domme scenes because the pregnancy content she brought afterwards was some of the best in the game at the time.

I only imagined the PC knocking her up. I could do both, but it depends on how huge her doc is by the time I get there.

Don't push yourself too hard for something you don't want, especially after all the work you've put into it already.

 

[Karakara]

The intent with Raizel is to give her a growing affection meter, and the higher it is, the more attuned she is to the PC and their needs. Her priorities eventually go from "I need to get off and I don't care about you getting off" to "I need to get off and also you need to get off".

I though her sex scenes were not going to get affected by the meter if I understod it right?

I only imagined the PC knocking her up.

You could always save PC pregnancit for later. Or never do it. Honestly, as long as she turns out to be loving torwards my PC, kids can wait.

 

[B]

Question on Raizel.

Is there a path toward improving her affection without sex? Eg options for just the talk, gifts and better conditions. So you could pick the sex options after Raizel is more interested in you, rather than from the start, when Raizel is just wants to use you to get off.

I'm still working out the kinks on how to handle Raizel's affection, so I don't promise anything, but I can try.

I though her sex scenes were not going to get affected by the meter if I understod it right?

In the sense that they don't change things like positioning. If Raizel fucks you while you're coiled up in her tail at low affection, she'll do it at high affection. Otherwise I'd be essentially be rewriting every sex scene at least once. What changes is her attitude towards you as she does it.