its all good man
Not into Bears myself but I'm interested in seeing how that turns out for you
A crab's gay writings
- Thread starter Knife-wielding Crab
- Start date
Oh, neither am I. It is just something I got told from some of my gay friends and on twitter. So just something I personally noticed. But as you can see, even though I am furthest thing from a gay guy, I still use those terms.
So yep, god will strike me down sooner then later.
Makes sense. Makes sense. And also, all your other stuff.
Oh, a buff dude? We haven't had a named one since... I am going to say since Yone was released. What would he be like? And what do you mean by his shell?
The idea is a big foreman that has to act tough in a macho environment, but in reality is a massive bottom. The second part revolves around
Teaching him that you can take it up the bum and STILL be a manly man
I haven't worked out all the details yet.
Wooooooo!
Hell yes! Another musclelar guy that likes to bottom. It's like you are only writing things that appeal to me, heh...
I just want to pop in and say that I adore Tykis and the absolute fluffiness of his pure path. As for the corrupt path, I'm not the biggest fan of corruption so I wouldn't be a good judge but I'd say it was pretty well written. Anyways, can't wait to see it in-game!
Ok I have some parts to share, just so you get the picture. Odoacer, the foreman (name borrowed from the vandal chieftain who kicked out the last western roman emperor). He's the leader of the miners and will be a permanent NPC that appears at the miners base. This is basically a blue-print for the first, foundational part.
I'm going for a strongman type of look.
In front of you stands Odoacer, the foreman of Khor'minos mining team. And just as the rocks he's mining, the foreman is a dense, stocky slab of a man. While a bit shorter than the average bull-man, he still stands at 7 feet and what he lacks in height he makes up for in sheer thickness.
Curly, black hair sits on top of his hair, a shade darker than the sot-black coat of fur covering his body. His mane reaches chin height and has a tendency to drape over his face, where a pair of blue eyes peeks out from behind their curly curtains.
On his brow sits a pair of nubby horns, ground down to 4-inch nubs so they don't get in the way when traveling the tight mine shafts or knocking over mining equipment. At the end of his black face sits a black muzzle with a thin scar running over its ridge.
Moving down his thick, powerful neck, you marvel at his shoulders that are wide like barn doors. The foreman got some of the thickest arms you've seen, strengthened by years of swinging pickaxes and carrying ore. Although lacking in muscle tone, you have no doubt that those logs could turn a cinder block to fine powder if they got a chance.
On his chest hangs a heat protecting apron and the brown leather is covered with soot and scratches. Below the apron sits a beige flax tunic, damp with sweat and steam. But what truly catches your attention is his meaty chest. The tunic has a low cut reaching the middle of the bull-man's sternum, giving you a view of muscular cleavage that could probably throttle an imp.
Lower down, his stocky legs are covered with a pair of plain trousers, tied in place with a simple rope belt and ending just above his sot-riddled hooves.
[Has.sexed Odoacer|Having seen the slab of meat in all his glory, you know that his upper body is as thick as those arms. Broad pecs set above a powerful midriff, although lacking a defined six-pack, you know those abs are as dense as the mountain.
Between a set of powerful legs swings his mino-dick. And just like the rest of the foreman, it's a bit on the shorter side at 12 inches, but thick and juicy like any bull-meat you've encountered. A hefty nut sack swings underneath, with a pair of orange-sized balls.
Although Odoacer has some prime mino-meat swinging between his legs, it's what's beneath his brush-like tail that's the real prize-winning steak.
Odoacer's ass is a candidate for the fattest butt in the undermountain. Two huge orbs of dense fat; one cheek being big enough to engulf both your hands. And between them, at the end of the foreman's deep valley, sits a black, winking butthole.
[End]
Curly, black hair sits on top of his hair, a shade darker than the sot-black coat of fur covering his body. His mane reaches chin height and has a tendency to drape over his face, where a pair of blue eyes peeks out from behind their curly curtains.
On his brow sits a pair of nubby horns, ground down to 4-inch nubs so they don't get in the way when traveling the tight mine shafts or knocking over mining equipment. At the end of his black face sits a black muzzle with a thin scar running over its ridge.
Moving down his thick, powerful neck, you marvel at his shoulders that are wide like barn doors. The foreman got some of the thickest arms you've seen, strengthened by years of swinging pickaxes and carrying ore. Although lacking in muscle tone, you have no doubt that those logs could turn a cinder block to fine powder if they got a chance.
On his chest hangs a heat protecting apron and the brown leather is covered with soot and scratches. Below the apron sits a beige flax tunic, damp with sweat and steam. But what truly catches your attention is his meaty chest. The tunic has a low cut reaching the middle of the bull-man's sternum, giving you a view of muscular cleavage that could probably throttle an imp.
Lower down, his stocky legs are covered with a pair of plain trousers, tied in place with a simple rope belt and ending just above his sot-riddled hooves.
[Has.sexed Odoacer|Having seen the slab of meat in all his glory, you know that his upper body is as thick as those arms. Broad pecs set above a powerful midriff, although lacking a defined six-pack, you know those abs are as dense as the mountain.
Between a set of powerful legs swings his mino-dick. And just like the rest of the foreman, it's a bit on the shorter side at 12 inches, but thick and juicy like any bull-meat you've encountered. A hefty nut sack swings underneath, with a pair of orange-sized balls.
Although Odoacer has some prime mino-meat swinging between his legs, it's what's beneath his brush-like tail that's the real prize-winning steak.
Odoacer's ass is a candidate for the fattest butt in the undermountain. Two huge orbs of dense fat; one cheek being big enough to engulf both your hands. And between them, at the end of the foreman's deep valley, sits a black, winking butthole.
[End]
I'm going for a strongman type of look.
The smell of sot and charcoal wafts across your face as you turn a corner. At the outskirts of Khor'Minos, you find what you guess is a mining base. Complete with blast furnace's, water powered pulverizers, work-horses and, of course, booze distilleries.
You watch as the stocky miners toil away, lifting trays of ore that would break the back of any normal man. But these bulls look like they were born straight from mountain rock and carry their burden like a farmer carries his crops.
At a table playing dice, you recognize the miner-bulls as the gang that used to accost you out in the undermountain's tunnels. One of them notices you and grin, elbowing his buddy and rises from the table with his comrades behind him.
"Well, if it isn't the [pc.race]-slut. Can't get enough of prime mino-meat?" the leader of the group goads.
"[pc.dcb|Ah, I see you boys got a humiliation kink. Can't wait to have you pussies perform for the camp when I'm done with you.|Hey now, I'm not interested in beating your ass in front of all these fine people.|Oh my god yes! Gimme' Gimme']" you answer.
But before things goes out of hand, a deep, grumbling voice calls out:
"Enough!"
A black bull-man emerges from one of the bigger huts. Clad in simple miners garb; a plain tunic, simple trousers and a robust leather-apron. He looks just like any other miner. But with the way he carries himself and how the rowdy gamblers shrink as he approaches, you guess this is some sort of big shot.
"Aw c'mon boss! We're just teasing the [pc.mf|guy|broad]. We didn't mean anything," the loudmouthed gambler answers while nervously scratching his neck.
The foreman walks up to the gang. While half a head shorter than his underlings, the gritty miner makes up for it in width. The foreman crosses his arms, thick trunks that could probably snap the mino-pervert in two, and grumbles:
"Right. And my mother is a goblin. If you want to get your dick wet I suggest you save up for a night at Noticia's. Because that charm certainly won't get you anywhere."
"Hey!" the gamblers protests as the foreman knocks over the dice table.
"Breaks over. Back to work or I have you binding pitch torches over the weekend."
The gamblers go quiet, before picking up their drills, sledges and pickaxes as they return to work. You hear a faint mutter as the minos leave for the tunnels. The large foreman turns to you. Black, curly locks hangs like a curtain in front of his blue eyes. Despite his rugged demeanor and rough appearance, he looks kind of cute with those blue eyes hiding behind his locks.
"I hope my boys didn't give you too much trouble."
"[pc.dcb|No. Those calves are lucky that you saved them.|Nothing I can't handle.|Aw, I was so close to be their cow!]"
The foreman snorts from his big muzzle, blowing away some hair from his face. You can't tell if it was from amusement or annoyance. He sticks out a massive hand and grunts:
"If you're gonna be wandering around my camp, you will give me your name."
[pc.strengthIs 66|You grab his hand.|Carefully, you stick out your hand.] The foreman wraps his sausage fingers around you, and to your surprise, gives you a firm but tender handshake. He seems to be in full control of those monsters.
You give him your name, and the foreman responds: "Odoacer. I'm the one running the show here. If you need to talk to someone with more than fucking on his head, talk to me."
You tell Odoacer that you remember that.
"Good. Now, sod off. I got work to do," he grumbles and walks off.
As he goes to inspect the furnaces, you can't help but notice something was off with the big foreman. Like the brute stuff didn't sit right, especially how those blue eyes had a hard time focusing. You shake your head and return to the middle of the camp.
[End]// Returns the PC to the camp square.
You watch as the stocky miners toil away, lifting trays of ore that would break the back of any normal man. But these bulls look like they were born straight from mountain rock and carry their burden like a farmer carries his crops.
At a table playing dice, you recognize the miner-bulls as the gang that used to accost you out in the undermountain's tunnels. One of them notices you and grin, elbowing his buddy and rises from the table with his comrades behind him.
"Well, if it isn't the [pc.race]-slut. Can't get enough of prime mino-meat?" the leader of the group goads.
"[pc.dcb|Ah, I see you boys got a humiliation kink. Can't wait to have you pussies perform for the camp when I'm done with you.|Hey now, I'm not interested in beating your ass in front of all these fine people.|Oh my god yes! Gimme' Gimme']" you answer.
But before things goes out of hand, a deep, grumbling voice calls out:
"Enough!"
A black bull-man emerges from one of the bigger huts. Clad in simple miners garb; a plain tunic, simple trousers and a robust leather-apron. He looks just like any other miner. But with the way he carries himself and how the rowdy gamblers shrink as he approaches, you guess this is some sort of big shot.
"Aw c'mon boss! We're just teasing the [pc.mf|guy|broad]. We didn't mean anything," the loudmouthed gambler answers while nervously scratching his neck.
The foreman walks up to the gang. While half a head shorter than his underlings, the gritty miner makes up for it in width. The foreman crosses his arms, thick trunks that could probably snap the mino-pervert in two, and grumbles:
"Right. And my mother is a goblin. If you want to get your dick wet I suggest you save up for a night at Noticia's. Because that charm certainly won't get you anywhere."
"Hey!" the gamblers protests as the foreman knocks over the dice table.
"Breaks over. Back to work or I have you binding pitch torches over the weekend."
The gamblers go quiet, before picking up their drills, sledges and pickaxes as they return to work. You hear a faint mutter as the minos leave for the tunnels. The large foreman turns to you. Black, curly locks hangs like a curtain in front of his blue eyes. Despite his rugged demeanor and rough appearance, he looks kind of cute with those blue eyes hiding behind his locks.
"I hope my boys didn't give you too much trouble."
"[pc.dcb|No. Those calves are lucky that you saved them.|Nothing I can't handle.|Aw, I was so close to be their cow!]"
The foreman snorts from his big muzzle, blowing away some hair from his face. You can't tell if it was from amusement or annoyance. He sticks out a massive hand and grunts:
"If you're gonna be wandering around my camp, you will give me your name."
[pc.strengthIs 66|You grab his hand.|Carefully, you stick out your hand.] The foreman wraps his sausage fingers around you, and to your surprise, gives you a firm but tender handshake. He seems to be in full control of those monsters.
You give him your name, and the foreman responds: "Odoacer. I'm the one running the show here. If you need to talk to someone with more than fucking on his head, talk to me."
You tell Odoacer that you remember that.
"Good. Now, sod off. I got work to do," he grumbles and walks off.
As he goes to inspect the furnaces, you can't help but notice something was off with the big foreman. Like the brute stuff didn't sit right, especially how those blue eyes had a hard time focusing. You shake your head and return to the middle of the camp.
[End]// Returns the PC to the camp square.
You quietly watch as the big foreman works. Some of his crew is lifting a tray full of ore on top of a cart, and the foreman goes over to help. Watching as the big mino takes off his leather apron, you get to fully appreciate his body. Thick arms like tree trunks and bulging with muscles that strains from the weight of the ore.
It pairs well with the rest of his thick body, as well as the black coat of fur that's glistening with sweat and steam. As the workers puts the last of the ore in its place, some sweat drips down onto Odoacer's face. He lifts his plain-beige tunic and to wipe some dirt from his chin and– oh my.
You get a full view of his powerful torso. Bulging pecs that could probably choke you out sits above a firm muscle-gut. Despite lacking defined abs you can tell that the foreman's middle is as packed with muscles as the rest of his stocky body. You imagine yourself wrapped up in those strong, safe arms as Odoacer's warm body presses down on you.
You look further down and see a big bulge contouring along the bull-man's rough trousers and his big, strong glutes jutting out beneath his brush-like tail. That settles it; you need this man.
You stride up to him, putting on your best looks as you try to grab Odoacer's attention. He seems to occupied with the ores to notice you, but a sharp whistle from one of his buddies tells you that the problem is not on your end.
"Hey big man," you call out with an inviting voice. "I think you might need a break."
The foreman snorts and glance at you from behind his curly hair. In the background, his crewmates snicker and elbows each other, clearly happy for their boss that he's about to get some tail. But instead of the usual result when teasing a mino-man, the foreman goes back to work.
"I don't need a break," he mutters. Despite his grumpy attitude, you notice a bit of nervousness in his blue eyes. Also, the big bulge in his pants throbs from your teasing.
Not to be rejected, you decide to get bolder. You trace a finger along his mighty bicep, grazing through the coarse field of his black coat.
"Don't be like that. Those arms could need some rest. Like carrying me to your bed…"
The big foreman turns his wide palms towards you in a defensive stance, saying in a flustered breath: "Hey [pc.mf|buddy|lady]! I don't know what you're getting at, but I certainly don't have time–"
"[pc.heShe]'s asking if you want to fuck!" one of Odoacer's crewmates shouts. "Don't worry boss. We'll cover for ya!"
Odoacer suddenly drops the cornered animal act, his brow furrows as stern eyes glares at you.
"Fine," Odoacer mutters. The mountain walks up and grabs you under the legs and throws you on his broad shoulders. He sticks out a finger to his crew and shouts:
"You can take a day off while I teach this [pc.mf|guy|lass] a lesson. Tomorrow we'll be tunneling towards that new finding."
"Ay ay boss," the miner answers. "We'll be at Noctia's if you need us."
[Next]
The ground trembles under you, as the big man carries you towards his hut. You cling on to his shoulder, not that it's really needed considering his firm grip. But it's a great opportunity to get your hands on his body. Digging a hand beneath the collar of his tunic, you coo while kneading his deltoids that barely strains despite holding your entire weight.
From the perch of his shoulder, you also get a view of the foreman's tush. Because of all the meat on the foreman, you haven't really had time to appreciate it. But that ass is big. Really big. One cheek would be enough to sink both of your hands into; it's almost a shame you won't get your hands on that.
The smell of sot and coal changes to tar and roasted steak as the foreman takes you into his hut and slam the door behind you. When he puts you down in the bed, he pauses. The big man looks down at you, blue eyes peering with a glint of hesitation. You decide to take the lead.
While swaying your hips, you undress and crawl towards the standing bull. You slide your hands beneath his shirt and caress the surprisingly soft fur on his firm, muscular belly.
"[pc.isDK|Why don't you try and break me, big guy? Worried that I'll drain you?|C'mon big guy. Show me how you use that drill,]" you whisper as your hands continue upwards, sinking into the fur covering his powerful pecs.
"Ah– sure," he answers.
The foreman's stuttering and his awkward shuffling tells you something's wrong. You can't shake the feeling that it is fright you see in his blue eyes. Despite his massive muscles, a trembling flows through his arms as he crawls on top of you and the bull knocks over the nightstand.
Among the trinkets, baubles and letters that get strewn across the floor, a brass-looking, phallus-shaped object rolls around and– oh. Oh!
You turn to the paralyzed bull who makes a distraught snort.
[pc.isDK|You laugh, "So the big guy's a butt boy. Who could have guessed!"|"This pitching business ain't your thing, big guy?" you ask while caressing his trembling arms.]
"Ye- Nuh- Khak! Don't tell anyone," he stutters, looking meek despite his size. You bet that Odoacer wished the earth would swallow him.
This got a bit awkward. How do you solve this?
[Bull Ride]//Tooltip: Have the black bull ride your dick.
[Bull pounding]/Tooltip: Get him on all fours and slam his ass.
[Dildo Time]//Tooltip: Put that tool to work!
[Just Cuddle]//Tooltip: The big guy might need a hug.
It pairs well with the rest of his thick body, as well as the black coat of fur that's glistening with sweat and steam. As the workers puts the last of the ore in its place, some sweat drips down onto Odoacer's face. He lifts his plain-beige tunic and to wipe some dirt from his chin and– oh my.
You get a full view of his powerful torso. Bulging pecs that could probably choke you out sits above a firm muscle-gut. Despite lacking defined abs you can tell that the foreman's middle is as packed with muscles as the rest of his stocky body. You imagine yourself wrapped up in those strong, safe arms as Odoacer's warm body presses down on you.
You look further down and see a big bulge contouring along the bull-man's rough trousers and his big, strong glutes jutting out beneath his brush-like tail. That settles it; you need this man.
You stride up to him, putting on your best looks as you try to grab Odoacer's attention. He seems to occupied with the ores to notice you, but a sharp whistle from one of his buddies tells you that the problem is not on your end.
"Hey big man," you call out with an inviting voice. "I think you might need a break."
The foreman snorts and glance at you from behind his curly hair. In the background, his crewmates snicker and elbows each other, clearly happy for their boss that he's about to get some tail. But instead of the usual result when teasing a mino-man, the foreman goes back to work.
"I don't need a break," he mutters. Despite his grumpy attitude, you notice a bit of nervousness in his blue eyes. Also, the big bulge in his pants throbs from your teasing.
Not to be rejected, you decide to get bolder. You trace a finger along his mighty bicep, grazing through the coarse field of his black coat.
"Don't be like that. Those arms could need some rest. Like carrying me to your bed…"
The big foreman turns his wide palms towards you in a defensive stance, saying in a flustered breath: "Hey [pc.mf|buddy|lady]! I don't know what you're getting at, but I certainly don't have time–"
"[pc.heShe]'s asking if you want to fuck!" one of Odoacer's crewmates shouts. "Don't worry boss. We'll cover for ya!"
Odoacer suddenly drops the cornered animal act, his brow furrows as stern eyes glares at you.
"Fine," Odoacer mutters. The mountain walks up and grabs you under the legs and throws you on his broad shoulders. He sticks out a finger to his crew and shouts:
"You can take a day off while I teach this [pc.mf|guy|lass] a lesson. Tomorrow we'll be tunneling towards that new finding."
"Ay ay boss," the miner answers. "We'll be at Noctia's if you need us."
[Next]
The ground trembles under you, as the big man carries you towards his hut. You cling on to his shoulder, not that it's really needed considering his firm grip. But it's a great opportunity to get your hands on his body. Digging a hand beneath the collar of his tunic, you coo while kneading his deltoids that barely strains despite holding your entire weight.
From the perch of his shoulder, you also get a view of the foreman's tush. Because of all the meat on the foreman, you haven't really had time to appreciate it. But that ass is big. Really big. One cheek would be enough to sink both of your hands into; it's almost a shame you won't get your hands on that.
The smell of sot and coal changes to tar and roasted steak as the foreman takes you into his hut and slam the door behind you. When he puts you down in the bed, he pauses. The big man looks down at you, blue eyes peering with a glint of hesitation. You decide to take the lead.
While swaying your hips, you undress and crawl towards the standing bull. You slide your hands beneath his shirt and caress the surprisingly soft fur on his firm, muscular belly.
"[pc.isDK|Why don't you try and break me, big guy? Worried that I'll drain you?|C'mon big guy. Show me how you use that drill,]" you whisper as your hands continue upwards, sinking into the fur covering his powerful pecs.
"Ah– sure," he answers.
The foreman's stuttering and his awkward shuffling tells you something's wrong. You can't shake the feeling that it is fright you see in his blue eyes. Despite his massive muscles, a trembling flows through his arms as he crawls on top of you and the bull knocks over the nightstand.
Among the trinkets, baubles and letters that get strewn across the floor, a brass-looking, phallus-shaped object rolls around and– oh. Oh!
You turn to the paralyzed bull who makes a distraught snort.
[pc.isDK|You laugh, "So the big guy's a butt boy. Who could have guessed!"|"This pitching business ain't your thing, big guy?" you ask while caressing his trembling arms.]
"Ye- Nuh- Khak! Don't tell anyone," he stutters, looking meek despite his size. You bet that Odoacer wished the earth would swallow him.
This got a bit awkward. How do you solve this?
[Bull Ride]//Tooltip: Have the black bull ride your dick.
[Bull pounding]/Tooltip: Get him on all fours and slam his ass.
[Dildo Time]//Tooltip: Put that tool to work!
[Just Cuddle]//Tooltip: The big guy might need a hug.
Just read the Odoacer blueprint, and wow it is a good foundation. Always happy for more dilf content, especially if he has a gruff exterior but is a real softie inside. I'm hoping there are some fluffy scenes, and judging from the "just cuddle" option I might get what I'm asking for. Do you have a doc for him ready cause I do see a few minor grammatical errors.
I have a dock but I'm far from finished and I usually want to go over it an additional time before i show it.
The way I work is that I type out the entire draft without much consideration for gramar. Then I go over it one time to clear up plot holes and things I want to change.
After that, I put it out. Don't want people do a bunch of work on text i might end up deleting
But thanks for offering help. I'll have it out soon!
The way I work is that I type out the entire draft without much consideration for gramar. Then I go over it one time to clear up plot holes and things I want to change.
After that, I put it out. Don't want people do a bunch of work on text i might end up deleting
But thanks for offering help. I'll have it out soon!
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That's probably a better way of going about writing than mine tbh. Good luck with your writing! Excited to read what you'll be cooking up next.
If you space and stagger your work, you might end up getting a bunch of your great (and spectacularly edited) projects accepted around the same time and poor Moira, DCL, or other artists will be inundated with work all at once.
Don't worry. I can do some stick figures in paint
'Sup. Done with the base script and are currently tidying things up. Got some teaser for you. Pre-modern mining techniques!
"So this mining business, is it going good?" you ask the foreman.
"Not great. Not terrible. If things were easy I wouldn't be needed," the burly foreman answers while putting a passer over his prospecting maps.
"Yeah I get it. With arms like those I bet you could dig out a tunnel on your own."
"Do you think mining is just digging in the ground?" the foreman snaps back with a slightly amused grin. Seems like he enjoys talking about his profession; you play along.
"Isn't it?"
"Hah, if you think gravel is more useful than metal, sure. Come here," he motions to the prospecting maps.
"In order to mine, you need some ore to mine, right? It's not like the entire mountain is made up of valuable metal, then there would be just a big crater here and this place would be called the Underquarry. No, the ore in this mountain sits like raisin in a sweetbread. And it's my job to find it."
"So that's what all the digging is about."
"Breaking, not digging," the foreman interjects. "Tell me, what happens when you put a shovel on a rock."
"The shovel breaks."
"Correct. And pickaxes to mountains are no different. You may have noticed that you don't need warm overcoats here, despite being far beneath the mountain."
"Yes…" you ask, realizing that it's quite peculiar that all these frigid tunnels are quite warm.
"That's because there's fire in the mountain. Literally. At the end of a shift, we light fires next to the mountain, heating up the rock and making it brittle. So we can more easily break through towards the ore."
That's… quite ingenious. So how far do they get in a day?
"Four."
"Four feet, that's quite–"
"Four inches."
"What?"
"Impressed?" Odoacer huffs without the slightest hint of irony. "I know manlings only get about 2 inches with these methods. But when there's prime beef behind those pickaxes, you can tunnel 250 feet in a year."
You nod, part impressed and part happy that you decided to hunt demons instead of swinging pickaxes.
[End]
"Not great. Not terrible. If things were easy I wouldn't be needed," the burly foreman answers while putting a passer over his prospecting maps.
"Yeah I get it. With arms like those I bet you could dig out a tunnel on your own."
"Do you think mining is just digging in the ground?" the foreman snaps back with a slightly amused grin. Seems like he enjoys talking about his profession; you play along.
"Isn't it?"
"Hah, if you think gravel is more useful than metal, sure. Come here," he motions to the prospecting maps.
"In order to mine, you need some ore to mine, right? It's not like the entire mountain is made up of valuable metal, then there would be just a big crater here and this place would be called the Underquarry. No, the ore in this mountain sits like raisin in a sweetbread. And it's my job to find it."
"So that's what all the digging is about."
"Breaking, not digging," the foreman interjects. "Tell me, what happens when you put a shovel on a rock."
"The shovel breaks."
"Correct. And pickaxes to mountains are no different. You may have noticed that you don't need warm overcoats here, despite being far beneath the mountain."
"Yes…" you ask, realizing that it's quite peculiar that all these frigid tunnels are quite warm.
"That's because there's fire in the mountain. Literally. At the end of a shift, we light fires next to the mountain, heating up the rock and making it brittle. So we can more easily break through towards the ore."
That's… quite ingenious. So how far do they get in a day?
"Four."
"Four feet, that's quite–"
"Four inches."
"What?"
"Impressed?" Odoacer huffs without the slightest hint of irony. "I know manlings only get about 2 inches with these methods. But when there's prime beef behind those pickaxes, you can tunnel 250 feet in a year."
You nod, part impressed and part happy that you decided to hunt demons instead of swinging pickaxes.
[End]
Finished the first part of Odoacer. Updated the OP with a link to the doc.
It's monday and I'm back on the grind. While I plan to focus mostly on my non-smut (non-english) writing, I did jot down a dialogue between the PC and foreman Odoacer when you begin your quest of pulling him out of the closet.
"So… What's up?" you ask the big guy while pausing your chewing.
"Nothing," the foreman mutters.
"I don't believe you."
"Believe what you will."
"Is it the bottom stuff? I told you, I won't tell anyone. But really, why does it bother you so much?" you ask.
A grunt is the only answer you get, but you can tell by the way his tail is swaying that you're getting to him. You put away your jerky and lean against the man's powerful arm, and make an educated guess:
"You're afraid what your crew will think of you if they knew, is that the problem?"
"Fine, I'll tell you if you're gonna keep prodding," he grunts with a shaky voice. "I'm new to this, alright. This foreman stuff. Took over from pops a bit over a year ago. Been just another part of the crew during my calf years, and when I came of age they sent me away to the city for education. Hadn't had sex until then. Had problem talking to the ladies and there was never any lass that caught my attention. One day I decided to just get it over and visited the Pasture. Met this cute guy named Nikol and… that's when I discovered I'm not made for this man-buisness. Not in the bed at least."
"What do you mean 'man-buisness'? You prefer catching instead of pitching. Is that such a big deal?"
"Maybe not for you. But I can't hang out with the crew like pops did. I just need to find excuses and come off as an asshole every time the guys wants to pop down to the Pasutre or the bathhouse. Especially the bathhouse…" the foreman gazes of at the last sentence and fidgets with his legs, there's a bulge forming in his pants.
You start to get the picture, but decide to probe further, you want to hear it from the man himself. Not just guesswork:
"What's the problem with the bathhouse?"
The words get stuck in Odoacers throat, but you make sure to remind him your lips are sealed while caressing his fuzzy bicep.
"It's just… Khak… Being at a bath and seeing the guys naked… with those big dicks. I wouldn't be able to hide… this," the bull answers while pushing down his boner.
"So you're attracted to your crewmates. What's the big deal? Just walk up to them after the shift and ask them to bed if that's what you want."
"Are you crazy!" Odoacer yanks his arm away from you and stands up. "I'm their foreman! I can't let them turn me into the camp bitch! What would father think? And my ancestors? We've been running this mountain since forever and I throw it away for some dick?"
[pc.isDK|His bitching starts to annoy you.|His situation starts to annoy you, it shouldn't be this complicated.] You stand up and poke your finger in his broad, furry chest.
"Who said anything about becoming a bitch? Do you think just because you're the one getting plowed it makes you less of a man? When I first asked you for sex, I fully expected to get my ass destroyed by a big bull-man. And when you were done plowing me, I was going to continue my quest and save the world. You're the boss of this camp, aren't you? If you want some dick, just get some."
Odoacer bowls his fists, and for a short moment you're worried that you might get clapped. But the bull relaxes as his shoulders sink. He moseys over to his discarded shirt and gets dressed, while grumbling:
"I need to get back to work. You know where to find me."
He leaves you alone in the hut, as you ponder [pc.isDK|how to pull this butt-slut out of the closet.|how to help the big guy.] He did mention that Nikol guy down at the pasture. Maybe you should look him up and pitch some ideas.
[End]//Note: Starts the quest "Big Bull Rumble" (or something like that. Name not decided.)
Talk about it
//Note: This is an option that shows up after any of the sex scenes in the previous doc."So… What's up?" you ask the big guy while pausing your chewing.
"Nothing," the foreman mutters.
"I don't believe you."
"Believe what you will."
"Is it the bottom stuff? I told you, I won't tell anyone. But really, why does it bother you so much?" you ask.
A grunt is the only answer you get, but you can tell by the way his tail is swaying that you're getting to him. You put away your jerky and lean against the man's powerful arm, and make an educated guess:
"You're afraid what your crew will think of you if they knew, is that the problem?"
"Fine, I'll tell you if you're gonna keep prodding," he grunts with a shaky voice. "I'm new to this, alright. This foreman stuff. Took over from pops a bit over a year ago. Been just another part of the crew during my calf years, and when I came of age they sent me away to the city for education. Hadn't had sex until then. Had problem talking to the ladies and there was never any lass that caught my attention. One day I decided to just get it over and visited the Pasture. Met this cute guy named Nikol and… that's when I discovered I'm not made for this man-buisness. Not in the bed at least."
"What do you mean 'man-buisness'? You prefer catching instead of pitching. Is that such a big deal?"
"Maybe not for you. But I can't hang out with the crew like pops did. I just need to find excuses and come off as an asshole every time the guys wants to pop down to the Pasutre or the bathhouse. Especially the bathhouse…" the foreman gazes of at the last sentence and fidgets with his legs, there's a bulge forming in his pants.
You start to get the picture, but decide to probe further, you want to hear it from the man himself. Not just guesswork:
"What's the problem with the bathhouse?"
The words get stuck in Odoacers throat, but you make sure to remind him your lips are sealed while caressing his fuzzy bicep.
"It's just… Khak… Being at a bath and seeing the guys naked… with those big dicks. I wouldn't be able to hide… this," the bull answers while pushing down his boner.
"So you're attracted to your crewmates. What's the big deal? Just walk up to them after the shift and ask them to bed if that's what you want."
"Are you crazy!" Odoacer yanks his arm away from you and stands up. "I'm their foreman! I can't let them turn me into the camp bitch! What would father think? And my ancestors? We've been running this mountain since forever and I throw it away for some dick?"
[pc.isDK|His bitching starts to annoy you.|His situation starts to annoy you, it shouldn't be this complicated.] You stand up and poke your finger in his broad, furry chest.
"Who said anything about becoming a bitch? Do you think just because you're the one getting plowed it makes you less of a man? When I first asked you for sex, I fully expected to get my ass destroyed by a big bull-man. And when you were done plowing me, I was going to continue my quest and save the world. You're the boss of this camp, aren't you? If you want some dick, just get some."
Odoacer bowls his fists, and for a short moment you're worried that you might get clapped. But the bull relaxes as his shoulders sink. He moseys over to his discarded shirt and gets dressed, while grumbling:
"I need to get back to work. You know where to find me."
He leaves you alone in the hut, as you ponder [pc.isDK|how to pull this butt-slut out of the closet.|how to help the big guy.] He did mention that Nikol guy down at the pasture. Maybe you should look him up and pitch some ideas.
[End]//Note: Starts the quest "Big Bull Rumble" (or something like that. Name not decided.)
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Now listen here, Chad: You can not just mention that and not have people expect a threesome. And by people I mean me.
And this is just adding fuel to the fire.
PS: If player had sexed Nikol, I think the champ should be more lax when meeting him.
"I guess paying Nikol another visit does not hurt."
Also, I just read through all of Odo's doc. He is adorable. Hope he gets in.
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Glad you enjoyed it.
The second part will have quite a heavy focus on public sex and group sex.
I finished reading up on Tykis' Corrupt Path. Lots of good writing there. If I had to make notes, I'd say that 'elf', 'soft' and 'slut' were used a lot. Obviously he's an elf, but it was used a lot and by itself with no adjectives to spice it up.
I also noted that you gave very little love or attention to his horsey-tail. A shame. I assume it will be mostly unchanged, just turning black instead of brown, but still, prior to that, I think you only mentioned it once. I think you mentioned Kasyrra's tail more. Other than that, his ponytail was the tail most mentioned. I think in the nursing scenes, where he's on your lap, or the magical concoction drinking, where he's leaning back against you, would have been good spots for a single sentence about his horsey tail, either whipping you a bit, or draped over one of your thighs, or hiding his buns from your greedy eyes and forcing you to swat it aside.
I also noted that you seemed to forget the Secret, surprise Bad End, where if the Champ is at 100 corruption or even 99 on the last 'treatment', he comes his soul out into Tykis' mouth and it gets swallowed and Tykis turns you into his slave, spending the rest of your days with him sucking you off and getting filled with your seed. Tragic.
Other than that, as a demon, he should be obsessed with something ultimately. Demons are ultimately creatures of obsession. Most are obsessed with sex, or some with breeding, or some with dominance and dominating others, some making deals and haggling. Obviously it wouldn't work for him to be obsessed with sex (since your treatment technically brings him into control of his 'curse' or libido. So you should have something come up, something obsessive and driving for him. I would suggest maybe it be the Champ. They obsess about them (which makes sense), and desire their seed or milk or attention, especially since the Champ is probably one of the few creatures that broke their curse or allowed them to climax since Kasyrra cursed or enchanted him (or whatever is stopping him from reaching the big O. Just something to ponder.
Otherwise, it looks like a solid framework, guy stuff isn't for me, but I noted any typos or grammar issues I saw. Made a few notes or suggestions, which are ultimately just one person's notes and suggestions and others might feel differently.
I also noted that you gave very little love or attention to his horsey-tail. A shame. I assume it will be mostly unchanged, just turning black instead of brown, but still, prior to that, I think you only mentioned it once. I think you mentioned Kasyrra's tail more. Other than that, his ponytail was the tail most mentioned. I think in the nursing scenes, where he's on your lap, or the magical concoction drinking, where he's leaning back against you, would have been good spots for a single sentence about his horsey tail, either whipping you a bit, or draped over one of your thighs, or hiding his buns from your greedy eyes and forcing you to swat it aside.
I also noted that you seemed to forget the Secret, surprise Bad End, where if the Champ is at 100 corruption or even 99 on the last 'treatment', he comes his soul out into Tykis' mouth and it gets swallowed and Tykis turns you into his slave, spending the rest of your days with him sucking you off and getting filled with your seed. Tragic.
Other than that, as a demon, he should be obsessed with something ultimately. Demons are ultimately creatures of obsession. Most are obsessed with sex, or some with breeding, or some with dominance and dominating others, some making deals and haggling. Obviously it wouldn't work for him to be obsessed with sex (since your treatment technically brings him into control of his 'curse' or libido. So you should have something come up, something obsessive and driving for him. I would suggest maybe it be the Champ. They obsess about them (which makes sense), and desire their seed or milk or attention, especially since the Champ is probably one of the few creatures that broke their curse or allowed them to climax since Kasyrra cursed or enchanted him (or whatever is stopping him from reaching the big O. Just something to ponder.
Otherwise, it looks like a solid framework, guy stuff isn't for me, but I noted any typos or grammar issues I saw. Made a few notes or suggestions, which are ultimately just one person's notes and suggestions and others might feel differently.
Thank you for helping.
As for Tykis being a demon, I'm not sure if I want to leave him like pure demon, just at 99 corruption where he gets to keep his soul. Don't know how well it matches lore-wise for the champ running around and getting people to spill out their soul.
Sounds perfect.
Can not wait for my Twink to get his grubby little hands on all that muscle, taking him the same way that I imagine Nikol did.
Frankly, keeping him at 99 corruption is more up to my taste. While I do like the idea of literally owning his soul, I like that it is not only the corruption that is fueling his devotion to us, but also what little free will he has left.
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I think you misunderstood. I meant that, the Champ cums out their soul to their newly-created demon. So they have to be Corrupt to corrupt him, but if they aren't careful, when they get to the last treatment, they pleasure makes the Champ lose their soul and it's a bad end, so the player has to keep their own Corruption under a threshold, or else the act of creating the demon intentionally pushes them too far.
While that was written in the initial doc for the game, I feel like the 100 corruption thing got a lot more leeway as the game developed. It seems to only take effect when Champ looses to a demon/surrenders their will to them. Like what happens with demon couple. In contrast, I do not think Tykis has any interest in dominating/controlling us, so champ should be fine.
Sure, maybe not your Champ, but mine's like a chocolate penis that ejaculates money. Demons are obsessive and my cock is the only thing that brings him to climax. He's like, "Yummy!" and when he gets that surge of lethicite power when it shoots down his throat, he's like, "I'm gonna spend all day with this fantastic phallus! Yay!"
Finished reading through the Gao-Ju document. Seems solid as a foundation and concept. Covers a lot of bases for the scene so far (being the first and second meeting). Obviously guys aren't my thing, but I noted any typos, concerns, and suggestions or opinions.
If it gets approved for expansion, I look forward to the hot springs' or further interactions... purely, from an editor's standpoint.
If it gets approved for expansion, I look forward to the hot springs' or further interactions... purely, from an editor's standpoint.
First, let me thank you for writing these. I especially like the ideas for the mino miner and the elf boy expansion.
If it's ok to give unsolicited advice, maybe you can correct the punctuation and grammar on your submissions first before writing other things. Mostly because I'm worried that, at the speed you're going, you risk burning yourself out and then none of your writings end up in game. Which would be a shame considering I really like what I can see here.
Edit: Because writing while tired was a mistake.
If it's ok to give unsolicited advice, maybe you can correct the punctuation and grammar on your submissions first before writing other things. Mostly because I'm worried that, at the speed you're going, you risk burning yourself out and then none of your writings end up in game. Which would be a shame considering I really like what I can see here.
Edit: Because writing while tired was a mistake.
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Yea Maybe I should slow down haha.
I usually break up my editing with writing new stuff just so I won't get bored. But I probably should spend more time editing.
I finished reading through Odoacer's document. The sex scenes are solid enough. It feels a bit unwieldy at the intro. Some of the sentences and wording could be reworked to cut down on semi-colon use and just make them more traditional sentences. I didn't note too many, as I know this is just initial framework at this point. I noted the typos, grammar. Made some notes and opinions, in case they're helpful.
I will read through it again on your next draft. I am sure we can add a scene if the Champ has bought a butt plug or those magic anal beads from Svern. You can let them loose and try to ride that meat rod while they're vibrating away.
I will read through it again on your next draft. I am sure we can add a scene if the Champ has bought a butt plug or those magic anal beads from Svern. You can let them loose and try to ride that meat rod while they're vibrating away.
Nice.
I will probably not add anymore sex scenes for the part one doc, since there will be plenty of those in the part two. Also, I'll need to rewrite the existing ones since he will recieve a glow-up at the end of the quest during part 2.
Got a bit impatient and decided to start writing on a scene I plan to include in the post-quest part of Odoacer. It's a voyeurism scene where he helps his coworkers with personal problems.
Soon, he rolls up the map and declare the shift to start. While the men prepares to take off, one of the miners falls behind, moping and kicking the gravel as he stalks behind his mates. You aren't the only one noticing this, as the foreman walks up to the guy and places a friendly hand on the miner's shoulder.
"Something bothering you, Flavi?" Odoacer asks while looking up at the guy, being half a head shorter than his college.
"Nothing," the taller bull answers.
"Bullshit, you look like crap. I can tell something's wrong. C'mon, I can't let you out in those tunnels like this."
"It's just…" Flavi mutters. "It's Minny. My girlfriend… she dumped me. Told me she wanted something more."
"More what?" the foreman exclaims with a disgruntled snort.
"I dunno. More man, I guess? Like an army guy or something."
Odo swipes his black bangs away from his face and looks the dejected mino in the eyes.
"Nonsense," Odo tells his miner while commanding:
"Come with me."
Taking Flavi by the hand, he pulls him towards the familiar alley between the blast furnace and the ore stomper.
"But the guys! Won't they miss me?" the confused bull complains.
"You'll catch up. Come on, you'll need this."}
[Follow]
[Ignore]
You find the foreman tongue-deep inside his worker, making out and clutching Flavi's face with both hands. Odo's leather-apron lays bundled up on the ground, together with Flavi's own linen tunic. The bare-chested miner is a stark contrast to the thick and rock-like foreman, having well-defined muscles and a pair of biceps that looks like hills on the miner's arms.
Odo releases his gentle grip to run his hands over the statuesque abs of his colleague, while Flavi's hands sneak under the stocky foreman's steamy shirt. Odoacer releases the kiss, allowing Flavi to pull off his damp tunic.
"Damn, buddy," Odo murmurs while going back to petting his coworker's sculpted abs. "You're fucking handsome under those rags."
Flavi stumbles over his words, clearly blushing over the compliment. The taller bull rubs the back of his neck and responds, "T-thanks boss. You're quite hot, too."
Odo answers with a quick peck on Flavi's chest, before sinking to his knees. Jostling with the belt around the miner's soot-covered trousers, the thirsty foreman unclasps the belt-buckle and releases Flavi's [silly|pickaxe|cock]; 15 inches of prime mino-meat.
"Something bothering you, Flavi?" Odoacer asks while looking up at the guy, being half a head shorter than his college.
"Nothing," the taller bull answers.
"Bullshit, you look like crap. I can tell something's wrong. C'mon, I can't let you out in those tunnels like this."
"It's just…" Flavi mutters. "It's Minny. My girlfriend… she dumped me. Told me she wanted something more."
"More what?" the foreman exclaims with a disgruntled snort.
"I dunno. More man, I guess? Like an army guy or something."
Odo swipes his black bangs away from his face and looks the dejected mino in the eyes.
"Nonsense," Odo tells his miner while commanding:
"Come with me."
Taking Flavi by the hand, he pulls him towards the familiar alley between the blast furnace and the ore stomper.
"But the guys! Won't they miss me?" the confused bull complains.
"You'll catch up. Come on, you'll need this."}
[Follow]
[Ignore]
Follow
Knowing Odo, you're pretty sure how he's going to deal with this problem, and you don't want to miss it. Discreetly, you walk towards the dark ally and peek around the corner, smiling at the sight.You find the foreman tongue-deep inside his worker, making out and clutching Flavi's face with both hands. Odo's leather-apron lays bundled up on the ground, together with Flavi's own linen tunic. The bare-chested miner is a stark contrast to the thick and rock-like foreman, having well-defined muscles and a pair of biceps that looks like hills on the miner's arms.
Odo releases his gentle grip to run his hands over the statuesque abs of his colleague, while Flavi's hands sneak under the stocky foreman's steamy shirt. Odoacer releases the kiss, allowing Flavi to pull off his damp tunic.
"Damn, buddy," Odo murmurs while going back to petting his coworker's sculpted abs. "You're fucking handsome under those rags."
Flavi stumbles over his words, clearly blushing over the compliment. The taller bull rubs the back of his neck and responds, "T-thanks boss. You're quite hot, too."
Odo answers with a quick peck on Flavi's chest, before sinking to his knees. Jostling with the belt around the miner's soot-covered trousers, the thirsty foreman unclasps the belt-buckle and releases Flavi's [silly|pickaxe|cock]; 15 inches of prime mino-meat.
My OCD is already itching to correct typos... I am going to be at work all day, thinking about what troubling things I have already seen.
I am already making notes, like: Too much talking. It should be,
'Odoacer murmurs something that you can't hear over the sound of the raging blast furnace next to you.' and
"Your lip-reading skills were never that great, but it's even harder when your subjects have their lips and tongues busy between every other word."
'Flavi is clearly blushing over the apparent compliment and you imagine he's stumbling over his own reply, which you definitely can't hear over the sound of the ore-stomper he's pressed against, pounding away. Speaking of pounding...'
See if you can do this sexy scene without any dialogue at all except before or after. Just descriptions of what you can see.
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