A crab's gay writings

Knife-wielding Crab

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Dec 25, 2017
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Ace Hangman

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I read through the latest version for Varenyz. Very nice work. Lots of improvements and additions since the original. I am not a great fan of 'twunk' (and now that's... in my search history apparently), but I can see how it works or fits, and it's not too overused. I like the effort and attention you made to work in magicocks when it would make sense and add extra flavor to when they appear.
Otherwise, I think I may have made one or two comments or notations. Hope some of it was helpful.
 
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Knife-wielding Crab

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Thanks for reading. I can also note that I removed the word "twunk" as it too much modern slang for a fantasy setting.
 

Emerald

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You can always have it as a [silly] here or there.
I second this. Twunk as a term came from what is now a meme (I did not expect it to come from a gay porno originally lol) and so it's fitting to have it be a thing in the meme mode of the game.
 
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Ace Hangman

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It's already gone now and I don't remember where I had it :(. Maybe it shows up again in future editing.
Pretty sure you can check back on previous editing as the author by clicking the Changes Since button and selecting a version from a previous date, at least to see where they were. Otherwise, I guess the next time I go through I can add a comment like, 'Sigh...maybe a [silly|twunk] here...'
 

MagicGal

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Right above the center of your Dreams
Nice effort, there some gud stuff going on for the Elf boi. Like the curing him bit but I do hope you keep certain sex scenes from his intro, like frooting him, maybe add an assjob scene.
tho Im not a fan of the transformation cause I'm just not a fan of horsefolk (the muzzle and coat), a hard change of his aesthetic (tho the thickness is a great add), and the fact that the dick-feeding breaks what consistency logic for the Champ and multiple other different scenes, tho it can be fixed by simply have the champ perform a ritual/draw a sigil before throating fucking our boi or just call it a "cantrip" n call it a day. Edit: Also would love that suggestion for either Evergreen or the champ to come up with corruption, I'm leaning towards champ since they are the ones that want to corrupt him so I could see them asking Evergreen for a ritual or spell that enhances production based on the soul wavelength (corruption alignment; either you're pure/tainted/corrupt) (the lore for corruption is vague so its best to not add anything and skirt around it)

Now to my opinion on how I'd "fix it" and it is just an opinion based on taste so it's no knock on you Crab; you did well.
  • His eye transitions should've been from: "Doe" Blue ->Yellow->Metallic Gold-> Metallic Gold Iries and black sclera (optional) (it'd be more consistent with how demon's eyes are described and how it affects elves, look at Jael'yn and Ryn's huntmaster for reference)
  • Toss the Muzzle and give him the demonic undulating tongue and a unnaturally stretchy throat
  • his coat is a nice addition and the emphasis on feeling him up, tho I'd have the coat be like lingerie, him having the coat along his hands to his clavicle but leaving chest, stomach and back bare for chest play and rubbing, maybe leave a happy trail at the navel.
1706898002648.jpeg I'm focusing on the arms n chest area for how the visual reference would work.
 
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Knife-wielding Crab

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Nice effort, there some gud stuff going on for the Elf boi. Like the curing him bit but I do hope you keep certain sex scenes from his intro, like frooting him, maybe add an assjob scene.
tho Im not a fan of the transformation cause I'm just not a fan of horsefolk (the muzzle and coat), a hard change of his aesthetic (tho the thickness is a great add), and the fact that the dick-feeding breaks what consistency logic for the Champ and multiple other different scenes, tho it can be fixed by simply have the champ perform a ritual/draw a sigil before throating fucking our boi or just call it a "cantrip" n call it a day. Edit: Also would love that suggestion for either Evergreen or the champ to come up with corruption, I'm leaning towards champ since they are the ones that want to corrupt him so I could see them asking Evergreen for a ritual or spell that enhances production based on the soul wavelength (corruption alignment; either you're pure/tainted/corrupt) (the lore for corruption is vague so its best to not add anything and skirt around it)

Now to my opinion on how I'd "fix it" and it is just an opinion based on taste so it's no knock on you Crab; you did well.
  • His eye transitions should've been from: "Doe" Blue ->Yellow->Metallic Gold-> Metallic Gold Iries and black sclera (optional) (it'd be more consistent with how demon's eyes are described and how it affects elves, look at Jael'yn and Ryn's huntmaster for reference)
  • Toss the Muzzle and give him the demonic undulating tongue and a unnaturally stretchy throat
  • his coat is a nice addition and the emphasis on feeling him up, tho I'd have the coat be like lingerie, him having the coat along his hands to his clavicle but leaving chest, stomach and back bare for chest play and rubbing, maybe leave a happy trail at the navel.
View attachment 33697 I'm focusing on the arms n chest area for how the visual reference would work.
Thank you for reading and leaving a review. It means a lot to me.

As this is just a draft I have nothing set in stone. The horse-transformation was a spur of the moment since I had a furry itch I needed to scratch when I hatched the idea. As you say, its probably better to go towards a more demonic/krampus-style since it's not too far from the elf aestetic. Kinda like this picture by InCase:
6cf677688763172f9e7b5e5c2157db3d.jpg

Since I plan to make an expansion for both paths, I've intentionally been light on the sex scenes in order to not overwork myself.

As for the Evergreen suggestion, I probably add something like that. So even non-corrupt pc's can take the corruption path.
 
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Knife-wielding Crab

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I did some writing this morning and here's a snippet from the first part of the transformation:

He opens his eyes and looks up at you. The elf's once blue eyes has taken on a yellow tinge, a hint that some corruption has already taken hold in his body. And speaking of body; the dainty elf seems to have gained a small bit of weight around his waist and thighs. Making the elf look even more soft than before. Seems there was some additional nourishment in his medicine.

Tykis smacks his lips. "Fu– I mean gosh. You taste amazing." He yelps and brushes his brow. Small, bruise-like bumps have formed on his forehead, and the elf's brown skin has gained a darker tone, giving his body an otherworldly greyish color. Patches of black fur forms along his arms and legs, creating a natural pair of stockings and elbow-length gloves.

I've dropped the horse transformation and decided to go with a devil/krampus-style transformation. Some fur on his limbs and maybe on his back. Tiny horns and stuff.

I've changed the transformation in all the part 1 scenes, which means that there's some gross inconsistencies in part 2 and 3 scenes.
 

Emerald

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I feel like changing his transformation entirely bc one person isn't a fan of horsefolk (unless you had more people say it, even then) is very "ehhh..." bc I feel like that's a very big change from your og idea and I haven't seen anyone else just change their concepts entirely bc of one's interest. It's your writing and expansion after all, unless the Krampus idea was yours from the start, it feels very wonky to suddenly change him from your og idea. Transformations can be as extreme or as minimal as the writer wants them to be. if you had a furry itch, you're allowed to satisfy it. You don't need to keep an elf "aesthetic".
(plus we have more than enough kemo characters, and furries don't seem all that popular as is in this game compared to TiTS)
 

Knife-wielding Crab

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Dec 25, 2017
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I want to change it. I wasn't satisfied how the first version came out. I'm more happy with this version.

The OG idea was that he becomes a demonic brat-slut. His looks are quite secondary and when I came across that pic by InCase I knew what I wanted.
 
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Knife-wielding Crab

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The once dainty elf is a thing of the past. In front of you stands a pleasantly [silly|thicc|thick] demon-elf. His body being covered in flawless, obsidian skin that looks soft like velvet. Tykis arms are covered in a coat of black fur that grows up and around his shoulders, framing his perfect chest in a cape of demonic fur.

Tykis legs has fully transformed into a pair of devilish hooves with the same coat of hair as his arms, that ends just below his plush ass, looking like a pair of natural stockings. Between his fuzzy legs swings the ever-present horse cock. Just as hard and throbbing as when you first met him, at least one thing hasn't changed.

On the demon's head sits a pair of antlers, which he's adorned with some thorny rose-stalks that are weaved along the white bones. The once messy, brown hair is now pitch-black and tied up in a tasteful ponytail.

Other than the obvious transformation, the elf has gained even more meat on his bones. Turning his black body into a cushy palace of pleasure. Perfect for cuddling and absorbing a thorough dick-pounding. The slut teases you, rolling out his long, demonic tongue and slapping his ass.

"Enjoying the view?"

Here's a snippet of the finalized corrupted Tykis.

I've always liked corruption but I've never been able to put my fingers on exactly what it is I like. When writing this project I've been able to explore the concept and come to some answers.

I think the most fun with corruption (in my opinion) is seeing the personality change and watching the character turn into an edgier version of themselves. Hence, why I changed the transformation. The equine transformation was too much of a change. Now he kinda resembles the dainty elf you met at first, but more demonic and better built for sex.
 

Dreamer44

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Hello, I'm Knife-wielding crab and I like to write smutty stuff involving boys. From muscular men to cute femboys. Here's some of my content.

In the pipeline:
Nothing at the moment.

In-Editing:
Tykis, Elf Boi Part 1. The Horny medicine.
You know that walking, talking sex toy wandering around in the old forest? I decided to write an entire expansion for him. And not only that, it branches into a corrupt path and pure path. Since this is essentially two new npc's, I've opted to just include the quest itself in this expansion. If it gains interest I will write more content for both paths.


Submitted:
Varenyz the hive knight
Gao-Ju, exiled monkey-monk
An expansion for the elf boi? Nice.

You do need to check the grammar. Oh, and don't forget Tykis cumming out his soul when he fully transforms into a demon. The Lethicite is a must in these scenes.
 

Ace Hangman

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I caught up with my other editing projects and started to take a look at Tykis' Document. I went through the Purifying scenes and just stopped at the Corruption part. I made some notes (just opinions, suggestions, humorous observations). They are just one person's thoughts, others can disagree. I understand it can be be hard to take over an existing character (assuming you want to keep their written and established personality close).

If I had a comment that differed from the writing, I would say that I wouldn't treat him as having a libido problem, though I get it. Sex with corrupted creatures is well-known in game to cause such things, and I am not saying he doesn't have that going on. But I think there's a more unique and special 'curse/problem' that he could have. He almost universally and consistently mentions that it's not his arousal or horniness or lust or hard cock that bothers him, it's that he can't ejaculate or cum on his own (at least not with great difficulty). Naturally, he will be in a state of arousal whenever the Champ meets him and he needs help, so understandably it might be misunderstood that his issue is just getting hard a lot, when it seems like the issue is that he gets aroused... and can't reach climax (which I think most of us might agree is way more frustrating).

Why would Kasyrra do this? She's a demon, I know there's a scene where you mention him to her (for the Corruption path). I certainly wouldn't expect you to rewrite it, but if you wished to explore a more unique path (making it clear that Kasyrra can and does things that ordinary demons can't, such as literally change peoples' bodies or aspects, as opposed to just their own or through tainted sex). You could have her mention how he was so thrilled, Tykis said he'd never climaxed like that with anyone but her... and so she left a little magic that made it so that she was the only one that could bring him to climax (and she did for a little while, before moving on to the Alraune or the Hornet hive or wherever she went at that time). Of course, being a demon she doesn't concern herself with his troubles currently.

And then when the Champ mentions that he manages to get the elf boy to cum, she can look amazed or curious or startled and remark that maybe a bit more of her essence rubbed off on the Champ from the portal explosion than she realized and maybe that's why he's able to bring Tykis to orgasm. And she says that's why he'd be perfect for helping the elf boy deal with his problem (obviously in the Corruption way). I think this plot would emphasize Kasyrra's impact on the world and the Champ's link to her, as well as his own impact on the world and ability to enhance or resist Kasyrra's influence. That's only my opinion, of course, and I wouldn't expect you to want to have to tweak a lot of writing you made. I certainly would help if you did, but I am not going to make those suggestions in the Doc otherwise. I just wanted to share a thought or observation I had on the elf boy from the current lore and scenes.

Other than that, I hope the suggestions are helpful or at least amusing. I will go through the remainder later tonight after work.
 
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MagicGal

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Right above the center of your Dreams
The once dainty elf is a thing of the past. In front of you stands a pleasantly [silly|thicc|thick] demon-elf. His body being covered in flawless, obsidian skin that looks soft like velvet. Tykis arms are covered in a coat of black fur that grows up and around his shoulders, framing his perfect chest in a cape of demonic fur.

Tykis legs has fully transformed into a pair of devilish hooves with the same coat of hair as his arms, that ends just below his plush ass, looking like a pair of natural stockings. Between his fuzzy legs swings the ever-present horse cock. Just as hard and throbbing as when you first met him, at least one thing hasn't changed.

On the demon's head sits a pair of antlers, which he's adorned with some thorny rose-stalks that are weaved along the white bones. The once messy, brown hair is now pitch-black and tied up in a tasteful ponytail.

Other than the obvious transformation, the elf has gained even more meat on his bones. Turning his black body into a cushy palace of pleasure. Perfect for cuddling and absorbing a thorough dick-pounding. The slut teases you, rolling out his long, demonic tongue and slapping his ass.
Nice, I was thinking about antlers too but forgot to mention it, definitely going to give it a read to see how it all flows together. There is nothing wrong with using advice that synergizes with your ideas, use what you think is useful and discard what you feel is useless, group-think isn't a necessity.

I've always liked corruption but I've never been able to put my fingers on exactly what it is I like. When writing this project I've been able to explore the concept and come to some answers.

I think the most fun with corruption (in my opinion) is seeing the personality change and watching the character turn into an edgier version of themselves. Hence, why I changed the transformation. The equine transformation was too much of a change. Now he kinda resembles the dainty elf you met at first, but more demonic and better built for sex.
Same, I like to wonder how a character would if they gave into their darker aspect or incorporated more of their shadow selves into their personalities.
 
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MagicGal

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Right above the center of your Dreams
If I had a comment that differed from the writing, I would say that I wouldn't treat him as having a libido problem, though I get it. Sex with corrupted creatures is well-known in game to cause such things, and I am not saying he doesn't have that going on. But I think there's a more unique and special 'curse/problem' that he could have. He almost universally and consistently mentions that it's not his arousal or horniness or lust or hard cock that bothers him, it's that he can't ejaculate or cum on his own (at least not with great difficulty). Naturally, he will be in a state of arousal whenever the Champ meets him and he needs help, so understandably it might be misunderstood that his issue is just getting hard a lot, when it seems like the issue is that he gets aroused... and can't reach climax (which I think most of us might agree is way more frustrating).

Why would Kasyrra do this? She's a demon, I know there's a scene where you mention him to her (for the Corruption path). I certainly wouldn't expect you to rewrite it, but if you wished to explore a more unique path (making it clear that Kasyrra can and does things that ordinary demons can't, such as literally change peoples' bodies or aspects, as opposed to just their own or through tainted sex). You could have her mention how he was so thrilled, Tykis said he'd never climaxed like that with anyone but her... and so she left a little magic that made it so that she was the only one that could bring him to climax (and she did for a little while, before moving on to the Alraune or the Hornet hive or wherever she went at that time). Of course, being a demon she doesn't concern herself with his troubles currently.

I forgot that was his problem, makes a lot of sense and is consistent with his intro. It would be consistent with her to offer Ironic gifts/Faustian Deals
 

Knife-wielding Crab

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Dec 25, 2017
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Yeah I don't want to poke around too much with Kasyrra since she ain't my character and she certainly has more stuff coming from established writers. I need to contain my hubris.
 

Knife-wielding Crab

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Dec 25, 2017
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Good Monday to you. I've been working on the finished corruption path for Tykis behind the scenes and wanted to share some stuff.

So the plan is to move him to the wayfort where he will be living and possibly help fill your coffers. I plan for some public use and prostitution that can be toggled on and off.

As you walk by the gatehouse you hear a ruckus on the other side of the drawbridge; you spot Daliza standing with one hand on her hip and the other on her sword pommel.

"I don't know what your ploy is, demon. But you're not getting past me," she hisses toward a short creature with obsidian skin, rosy antlers and furred limbs.

The 'demon' is clad in tight shorts that ends above his thighs and reveals the lower parts of his fat ass. Just like his butt, the demon's chest is barely covered in a cropped, loose shirt that ends just below his pecs, showing off his soft middle covered in obsidian skin. He pokes a clawed finger against the guard captain's breastplate.

"I'm telling you, asshole! I know your boss and I want to talk with him. Now let me through or I'll gore you," the creature answers and puts his hands on his sides.

Now you recognize him: It's Tykis, the elf boy you corrupted. You didn't recognize him without a giant horse cock flopping around. You walk up to the arguing pair and when Tykis' spots you, he furrows his brow and cocks his hips:

"There you are. Can you reign in your guard mutt so I can talk to you."

While Daliza retains her composure, you can tell by her slightly purple face that the corrupted wyld elf is getting under her skin.

"Watch your tongue, fiend."

You gesture to the flustered guard and tell her that Tykis can come inside.

"Are you sure? He could be a danger," she protests.

You tell Daliza if the boy causes trouble you could always throw him out. Or put him in the pillory.

"Threatening me with a good time?" the demonic slut interjects while snaking out his long tongue.

The guard captain huffs and signals towards Tykis, "Fine. Let him in. But rest assured, I'll be keeping my eyes on you."

Tykis' frown changes to a grin and runs a furred hand along his curvy body, finishing with a slap on his wide butt.

"Of course you will. Who wouldn't eye-fuck this."

Daliza turns on her heel and marches off. Probably for the best before she explodes. Tykis retains his grin and swaggers over to you, swinging his broad hips placing his hands on your chest.

"Thank you babe. Now, despite how fun it would be with an audience, I would like to talk with you behind closed doors."

That can be arranged, and you lead him towards your private quarters.

Also, I did some experiment with the appearance screen. While I found it way more fun to write, it may miss the mark of telling the reader on what the character actually looks like.

You give Tykis an inviting smile and sit down on a nearby chair and motion with a finger for him to get closer.

The demonic elf swaggers up to you and places his furred hands on your chair's armrests and lean closer to you.

"You want something, babe?" he asks while swaying his horse tail.

"I wanted to inspect my work," you tell your elf and grab his soft chin between your thumb and index finger.

You stare into his metallic, golden eyes; surrounded by black sclera. It's unobstructed by his black, flowing hair that's tied up in a ponytail that reaches down to the small of his back. While keeping your grip on his grinning face, you move your other hand over his deer-like antlers. They are smooth to the touch and the roses with their thorns are completely harmless, not pricking you when you drag a thumb over those prickly stalks.

"Like what you see," Tykis asks while flashing a pearl-white row of teeth.

"Very. Let's see if you taste as good as you look," you answer and pull him in for an elf-exploring kiss.

After a quick makeout, you disentangle your [pc.tongue] and place a hand on his chest, making Tykis stand in order to inspect the rest of his corrupt body. The wyld elf complies with your silent order, putting his hands on those wide hips and rolls out a teasing tongue that reaches the top of his sternum.

He's clad in a cropped tunic that somehow makes him look sluttier than if he'd been in the nude. Its arms only reaches the start of his bicep, giving way to the black, natural fur-coat traveling down his limbs and over his hands. The tunic's lower hem ends just below his trim chest, framing the taint-nourished elf's black stomach.

Tykis obsidian skin reflects in the light, giving his body a light glimmer as you run your hand over his soft tummy. His middle strikes a perfect mix of thickness and svelte, giving him hips matching a Jassyran harlot while still being flat and smooth on his front. Perfect to get a good grip, should you ever need it.

You move your hand up his body, sliding them under his skimpy tunic and pull it out of the way. His chest is just as smooth and flawless as his midriff, and you press your thumb down on a coal-black bud while placing a chaste kiss on his belly.

"Looking good," you whisper.

"Of course I do," he answers while swaying his broad hips and jiggling a large bulge, barely contained by his short-shorts.

You lower his straining trousers, just enough to catch a glimpse of his fat horse cock poking out from its sheath. A fat 15-incher with a flared tip and accompanied by a pair of apple-sized nuts. But that's not the only meat you're after.

You pull up his shorts and clap his ass, ordering your slut to turn around. He snickers and do as you say, twirling on his black-furred hooves and bending forward, jutting his fat ass towards you and lightly brushing your nose with his horse tail.

The threads on his tight shorts are fighting a losing battle against Tykis wide butt. As the fat-bottomed elf bends over, his shorts ride down halfway down his butt and reveal a pair of black, glistening buns. You dig your fingers into his demonic ass-flesh, parting them wide and catch a glimpse of a black, winking star that is begging for some action.

Maybe later. You slap his butt, producing a loud clap accompanied by a shrill "Oh!" from your slut, before you pull up his skimpy thread as you finish your elf-inspection.

Tykis turns around and grin, he knows he passed the test with flying grades.

Have a nice week.
Crab.
 

Karakara

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First, I want to personally bless you for working on the horse Twink. I love his design, and the way you are writing him as an eager sub/lover is something this game sorely lacked.

As for some of discussion happening here --

I do not see anything wrong with using the word Twink/twunk and so on personally, and even in writing for the game such as this. CoC2 is not really a period piece where we need to stick to the period appropriate manners of speach, and I think "forcing" people to learn some new words never hurts.

Although I know some gay people/allies that feel pretty icky about non gay people just using the words Twink/bara/bears and so on to describe guys that are not gay. I personally use them as a shorthand to describe body types when working with clients, sexual orientation not notwithstanding.
And I can see how it could feel like to much appropriation of gay culture. But, at same time, I just think they are handy terms for us to give your readers the general picture of how your GUY is supposed to look on first glance. Before you get into the weeds of character description.

So I do think you can include them if you want.

As for Tykis corrupt path -- you go girl. I do agree that going to much into TF side of things in this case could hurt, so I am glad you choose more of a demonic brat approach. This sentence is sponsored by my personal bias.
 

Knife-wielding Crab

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Dec 25, 2017
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First, I want to personally bless you for working on the horse Twink. I love his design, and the way you are writing him as an eager sub/lover is something this game sorely lacked.

As for some of discussion happening here --

I do not see anything wrong with using the word Twink/twunk and so on personally, and even in writing for the game such as this. CoC2 is not really a period piece where we need to stick to the period appropriate manners of speach, and I think "forcing" people to learn some new words never hurts.

Although I know some gay people/allies that feel pretty icky about non gay people just using the words Twink/bara/bears and so on to describe guys that are not gay. I personally use them as a shorthand to describe body types when working with clients, sexual orientation not notwithstanding.
And I can see how it could feel like to much appropriation of gay culture. But, at same time, I just think they are handy terms for us to give your readers the general picture of how your GUY is supposed to look on first glance. Before you get into the weeds of character description.

So I do think you can include them if you want.

As for Tykis corrupt path -- you go girl. I do agree that going to much into TF side of things in this case could hurt, so I am glad you choose more of a demonic brat approach. This sentence is sponsored by my personal bias.
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it.

I understand that CoC is not a historical acurate game, but I still want to keep a consistent fantasy language.

I'm not from America and aren't really up to date on the culture war you got going on. I don't care what words other people use; you need to look at the person behind those words to determine if there's a problem or not.
 
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Knife-wielding Crab

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Status update:

I've decided to put Tykis on pause until I get some sort of approval for the first part. (It would be very silly of me if I wrote two expansions that gets canned because the prerequisite story got rejected.)

So I've decided to work on another, hopefully shorter, project. A big, burly foreman who's the leader of the miners in Khor'minos. It's a bit of a twoparter. The first part got the regular stuff with some talk and some sex. I plan a second part where you help the big guy to get out of his shell.
 
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