Wheat and the Mitch Menace

[Taeio]

So I started this story in the Discord server as a series of jests to Wheat, and it's become something that I felt needed some other place to tell, a place without some of the constraints of a Discord channel. It takes place in an alternate TiTS universe where the only difference is an army of mini-Mitches turning everything purple. The story takes place over short episodes, but i'm conglomerating them into larger episodes until I catch up to where the story is currently at. After that, the episodes will become short again.

I have little else to say, so let's get to it.

 

[Taeio]

Episode 1

Taeio is the CEO of the Tae Adon corporation. He became aware of the Mitch menace years ago, and restructured his company to research this threat to the galaxy.

The Mitch is a small, many-tailed purple beast. When it bites something, that something becomes purple in color. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, as there are no known health issues that arise from being turned purple. No, the problem comes when an army of millions of Mitches arrive on a planet and turn everything purple. People tend to lose their resolve when all they see is purple. Variety is the spice of life, as it is said.

At some point, the Tae Adon corp. acquired a Mitch and began studying it. What they would discover was broadcast on the news:

"We have an update for you tonight on the progress the Tae Adon corp. has made in fighting what is being dubbed 'The Mitch Menace'. CEO Taeio has announced development of an anti-purple weapon he feels will render the Mitches inert."

"An update for you from the Tae Adon corp. The anti-purple weapon is finished, but Taeio, the CEO, has a warning about it's destructive capability, stating that it has the potential to remove the color purple from the entire galaxy. 'Obviously, we aren't going to use this unless we have no choice. We are currently working on a way to make this new technology more portable, which also means less destructive.'"

"Tonight's news update from the Tae Adon corp. is not good news, I'm afraid. CEO Taeio just announced today that the anti-purple weapon may also be anti-red and anti-blue."

"Good news tonight from the Tae Adon corp. The anti-purple weapon has been made portable, and mass production of these hand-held guns has begun."

Taeio wouldn't have much time to outfit the military as he just got word that the Mitch army was in system.

 

[Taeio]

Episode 2

Taeio was able to mostly outfit the planet's military with anti-purple weapons before the Mitch army arrived. Planetary alarms went off, the military was mobilized, and the battle ensued.

However, it was a futile effort. Many Mitches were anti-purpled, and the other Mitches re-purpled them. This was a discovery: The Mitch Menace is a regenerating army.

Armed now with this new information, Taeio had no choice but to flee the planet. He quickly searched for a destination, then set course. Along the way, he spotted something in his ship. It was a Mitch, and it was determined to turn Taeio purple. It lunged, Taeio dodged. Taeio pulled out his anti-purple weapon and fired. The Mitch was rendered off-white and inert.

Taeio, ever the thinking person, realized he was just given an incredible gift for his new start several star systems away. He had an anti-purple weapon, and now a Mitch. Research to bring the planet he chose up to the level where they could put up a fight against the Mitches would be heavily accelerated.

All that was left was the journey. After several hours, he arrived at his destination. The first thing he needed to do here was to convince the leadership that they were in danger. The second thing he needed to do was form a coalition of researchers under the Tae Adon corp. to bring the planet up to speed. Taeio's instructions to them were to analyze the anti-purple weapon and the inert Mitch, with an emphasis on studying the purplization properties of the Mitch and how to counter it. This was something Taeio didn't consider before, but would be crucial to fighting the Mitches.

 

[Taeio]

Episode 3

Research had begun on the things Taeio brought to the researchers. It was a couple of months until mass production of anti-purple guns could commence. With these, though, improvements were made. They no longer erased red and blue as well as purple. It was different with the Mitch.

There was only so much the researchers could do with an inert Mitch. A petition was made to the board to re-color the Mitch so that their task could be completed. The petition succeeded, and the Mitch was made purple again. But the strangest thing happened: the Mitch began to call out. The researchers, baffled, called Taeio in an attempt to define this strange behavior, in the hope that Taeio knew something.

It was hard to tell what the Mitch was screaming, what with being encased in a secured glass case. But as Taeio was listening, he could swear the Mitch was yelling "Wheat!" This had to be important, but what did grain have to do with anything? Taeio instructed the researchers to continue in their experiments, emphasizing the need for an anti-purplization breakthrough. "Leave what the Mitch is proclaiming to me," he said.

Days of searching the extranet yielded nothing. Countless articles involving wheat as a grain and how to cultivate it. Like anything, Taeio noted, no one can agree on anything, it seems. Eventually, he got an idea. What if...?

Taeio then searched for "Who is Wheat, the god?" The usual articles showed up, but there was one that caught his eye: "Wheat, the author god". He clicked on it.

 

[Taeio]

Episode 4

Taeio skimmed the article for the important points. Wheat is an author from the planet Terra. Terra is known as a center of technological innovation. One of the technologies developed was a device that could turn the written word into reality. Wheat got his hands on the device, and the first thing he wrote to input into it was "Wheat is a god". Power flowed into him at that moment, and he was impressed.

Wheat then took the device to his fellow author friends, and they all did the same thing. Authors like Fenoxo, Adjatha, Materia, Magenta Needle, Sose, Slab Bulkhead, Sil, among others, all become gods.

Wheat, however, wasn't satisfied. He had an unhealthy fascination, and wanted to turn the universe purple. So he used the writing machine to create an army of beasts that would go through the universe and turn everything purple. Those beasts would become known as Mitches.

Taeio had read enough. The captured Mitch was calling to it's god to rescue it, and help would eventually come. But there was still time; the Mitch army was still far away. Hopefully enough time to develop something that could counteract the Mitch's ability to purplize things.

Time passed, research continued. Eventually a breakthrough occurred. The researchers finally cracked the code on the Mitch's ability to purple things, and from there it was only a matter of time before a counteragent would be developed.