Various Text Bugs

[Jacques00]

Hopefully fixed for the next release.

Note: the use of "‘bot" is a shortened version of "robot". Either instances of "‘bot" or "bot" should be fine, I think.

 

[voltfintrout]

Noted. Thank you!

Exploring Mhen'ga some more.

Spoiler: Burt's Mead Hall

Burt's Mead Hall, first visit

He glances up at you as he washes a tumbler out with one of the tails of his flannel shirt, raising a brow at you, “Welcome to Burt’s Badass Mead Hall, stranger. I’m Burt, the owner and bartender. Ya need anything to wet your whistle, just let me know.” He sets down the glass and grins at you, half leaning against the bar as he adds, “I’ve got drinks on tap, gossip to share, and a keen interest in certain... collectables.”

1. Replace comma after "raising a brow at you" with period.
2. collectables > collectibles, and in the button and button description on this page too. Collectable is the adjective, collectibles is the noun. Note that British English uses collectables for both.

Select Collectables?

You ask Burt what he meant about collectables.

collectables > collectibles

Subsequent Burt visits

He spreads his arms to show off the whole of his bar and smiles, “I’ve got mead on tap, gossip to share, and a cot in the back room.” giving you a wink at that last part.

Change comma after "smiles" to period.

Spoiler: Burt Dialogue

Burt, Sex

He watches as you stretch out on the cot and then nods, “Well, I guess it’s my turn.”

Replace comma after "nods" with period.

He notices your focus on the inorganic member and chuckles softly, “Uh... yah, be careful around Galotians, if they are yellow and bubbly, that means that they are acidic.

Replace comma after "softly" with period.

Anal

Burt grins at you and spins you around abruptly, pushing against the small of your back to send you over one of the Mead barrels,

Make "Mead" lowercase.

only to thrust deep into you again, soon enough slapping his crotch your compact butt with every thrust.

Missing word after "his crotch". Against, into, etc.

his still erect member popping free of your lube-drooling butthole as he catches his breath and grins at you, “Thanks, Baron, I needed that.”

Replace comma after "at you" with period.

After sex

You can see the hologram of Three-Dee, flickering with static as she looks at a female Ausar, hoist into the air by one of Three-Dee’s bar mounted black tentacles, coiled tightly around the bitch’s neck.

hoist > hoisted

You raise your rock and aim at the tentacle, pulling the trigger and severing the tendril, letting the Ausar drop and scrabble for the safety of the exit with the rest of the patrons.

Maybe make this a tad bit more generic in case the player has a weapon that does not have a trigger, such as rock.

 

[Jacques00]

Hopefully fixed for the next release.

 

[voltfintrout]

Spoiler: Mhen'ga

Dryad, Drain her, Ass

they get a nice rubbing from below as she slowly withdraws before pushing back in.Void, it’s like having an iron

Missing space between sentences

Gigantic Rock, location where you can scan rock

You could probably scan it with your codex and radio it in to your Dad’s company for a quick prospector’s fee.

"Dad's" should be lowercase as it is not directly substituting a name

Naeleen Herm, lust loss

You gasp as she pinches your eye-catching nipple, taking this opportunity to sneak her tongue into your mouth and to yours into submission.

and to yours into submission > uhhh something that's not "to", drawing a blank. Fight, wrangle, wrestle, etc.

Naleen Male, lust loss

The naleen doesn’t spare you much time to adjust, eager to get off himself, he begins thrusting at a rather brisk pace.

You moan as you feel your hole stretched by his alien length, the bulges aligned in such a way to caress your walls and tease you, stretching and releasing as it goes go further in and then pull out, grinding against your dick, making you instinctively start to hump back against him.

1. Change comma after "adjust" to period.
2. goes go further in and then pull out > goes further in and then pulls out

Dane, loss

The word harem is punctuated by what feels like dozen of the bloating knobs forcing their way inside.

Add "a" before "dozen" or change to "dozens"

Spoiler: Tarkus

Tarkus, first approach

At first glance this appears to be a lifeless system, however, as the ships sensor suite comes online instruments alert you to extreme electromagnetic interference emanating from the planet below,

ships sensor suite > ship's sensor suite

Big Reptile, first encounter, Help Him

Noticing your flat chest, he nods absently as he finally meets your eyes again.

Extra space after "absently"

Blowjob

Spurred onward, you wrap as much of your slender lips around each orb in turn,

Add "as you can" after "lips", or remove "as much of"

Sydian Male, first encounter

A long, powerful tail sways behind it, tipped feathery feelers that look similar to its antennae and plumage.

tipped feathery > tipped with feathery

“Sydian detected. Initial reports their feelers and antennae secrete a highly corrosive substance with mild aphrodisiac qualities.

Initial reports > Initial reports state, or something similar

Sydian Male, defeat

Falling on your knees you look at the victorious alien standing over you.

Extra space after "knees"

Male Butt Bug, use him

You gasp as it pops into you, his shaft grinding against the back of your testicles as.

Remove ending "as", or remove period and combine with following sentence.

Your shaft throb each time he hilts into you, and he rubs your balls as he goes Your prick drip alabaster precum from the stimulation while the liquid flows down your frenulum.

1. Your shaft throb > your shaft throbs
2. Missing period after "goes"
3. Your prick drip > Your prick drips

Male Sexbot, Let It

When it reaches the top it climbs delicately onto your bulging head and - you can’t stop yourself arching your back - envelopes it, plunging the sensitive end of your cock into a tight fleshlight center.

envelopes > envelops

“Scanning in progress”, you think you hear it calmly state

Move comma inside the quote

 

[voltfintrout]

Omega Oil, gain Omega Fever perk

Well, it looks like the effects of the Omega Oil has, more or less, left its permanent mark on you!

effects of the Omega Oil has > effects of the Omega Oil have

Spoiler: Tarkus

Tarkus, Rust Fields, collecting hardlight naga suit

Huh. So now you know who made that suit. And wait, he’s been monitoring you? One, that means the hardlight taur suit has been sending data of whatever you did with it to some mad scientist? That’s... rather embarrassing.

One > What
Would expect a following sentence to start with "Two" for another thought.

And much like the hard light taur suit, this one has a weird belt with a familiar switch.

hard light > hardlight?

Try It On

It’s a good thing you’re sitting, because your legs are hugged so tight by the suit and the jelly, that you would definitely not be able to stand.

Remove comma after "jelly"

Spoiler: Carmelita

Fox Taur, first encounter

“Alright, thank you for your time,” She rubs her forehead,

Change commas after "time" and "forehead" to periods.

Sit Down

“Mmm chico, you learn how to read people in this line of work. You carry yourself different from a civie or an officer,” she says with a soft chuckle.

civie > civvy

Carmelita, Sex

She pulls the zipper of her top down, letting her bountiful E-cup jiggle free while still keeping her jacket on.

E-cup > E-cups, or E-cup breasts

Get Fucked

making sure that every inch of your insides are covered in the slick slaver.

every inch of your insides are > every inch of your insides is

You don’t know if you thrusted your ass back, or if she buried her tool into your narrow, slime-drooling asshole first.

thrusted > thrust

She lets out a long, low exhale as she starts slowly pulling out before suddenly grunting to plunges herself back in, grinding her knot against your hole.

grunting to plunges herself > grunting and plunging herself

The steady panting coming above you mixes in with the soft thumping of her balls colliding with your backside.

coming above you > coming from above you

Her knot has been growing steadily, and it’s swollen to the point that it hitches on your rim every time she pulls back. Only to leave you like a cork ejected from a bottle seconds later.

Combine sentences with comma, second is incomplete.

And just in time too, as she sheaths herself in you, and lowers her body down over you.

sheaths > sheathes

Thankfully, there’s a lot less effort required this time, as your hole is still battered to submission.

battered to > battered into

 

[Bast]

Niddhy outro, name mispelling:

When you wake up, you feel amazingly well-rested. And quite notably, clean. You were a mess of sweat and cum before you fell asleep, but right now you're as clean as can be, and you also smell faintly of flowers. And yet Nidhy is still there, your head resting against her soft breasts while she idly rubs and caresses your head and back. You can only put it down to motherly magic.

 

[voltfintrout]

And 10 more:

Spoiler: Tarkus

Relly, Butt Plug

“There we are,” he said, picking up a towel from below and wiping his hands clean. “Primed and ready to go! Now then, now then...”

said > says

You feel a strange thrill from that, not even knowing if he’s flashing stranger with your fingered narrow, slime-drooling asshole.

stranger > strangers

Sydian Male, Fuck Fever encounter

The jacked alien’s taut groin mashes close, grinding incredible internal stimulation through your innards whilst your prick leak white lust into the soil.

your prick leak > your prick leaks

A final, pendulous thrusts and the enthusiastic stud halts, climax exploding out of him like a dormant volcano erupting after hundreds of years.

thrusts > thrust

Spoiler: Tavros

Bhakar, Fuck My Ass

You let you a ragged howl of pleasure as you orgasm, cum spurting from your dick and spilling across Bhakar’s fingers.

You let you > You let out

Service Bhakar

“Why don’t follow me over to the fireplace, friend. As long as you’re offering, I think I’d like to be comfortable and relaxed during it.”

Add "you" after "don't"

You groan at the heavy, masculine scent, dizzied by it as you mouth this turgid length through the fabric.

this > his

One had reaches down to stroke your hair as his takes a sip from his glass.

as his takes > as he takes

Take that as a positive sign, you take him in further, sucking him down bit by bit, your tongue swirling around his meat as your hungry lips suck and slobber around his throbbing shaft.

Take that as > Taking that as

When his finally cums, you’re on the verge of passing out, but hardly care.

When his > When he

 

[Jacques00]

Hopefully all fixed for the next release.

One > What

This one is fine. In the context of the game, "One" is an exclamation similar to "God", as there is an in-game religion called the Church of the One God.

civie > civvy

I'll give this one a pass since "civie" is an informal alternative spelling of the word and it is specifically used in a dialogue line. If it was part of the outside text, there is reason to be more critical.

Generally, we'd want to follow US English as the style of spelling, but if the text is under quotes, acceptable alternative spellings may be given leniency as that could represent a stylized form of speech or a regional/cultural accent. This can be seen for some characters who speak with UK spellings (all the various -lise, -lising, -lour word spellings are left intact).

I think one thing we set as a hard no is the use of tildas "~" to all texts, dialogue or not. But I think writers still use them, even though it's a no-no. If it's part of an actual written document, like a codex story or other literal readings (emails, signage, etc.), it may be exempt, but regular use is not considered correct.

 

[voltfintrout]

I don't think I recall passing tildes, but I'll keep an eye out.
Only got one more in Tarkus on my secondary save before the train dungeon released.

Rusher, Backdoor'd

You know the rusher isn’t going to wait, and with baited breath you prepare yourself for what comes next.

baited > bated

Spoiler: Phaedra II, Train Dungeon

Cuz first sits down

That, at least, snaps you awaken. “Jack? What’re you doing here?”

awaken > awake

The hand not resting on her gunbelt slowly draws a cigarillo from pack strapped to one of her bracers, clenching it between those full red lips of hers.

from pack > from a pack, or the pack

Flirt With Jack, Suck Him Off

The hand already between his legs can feel his immediately, impassioned reaction

immediately > immediate

Flirt With Jack, Get Oral

You let out an appreciate little noise and go from holding his hair to stroking it,

appreciate > appreciative
(Edit Already reported here: https://forum.fenoxo.com/threads/0-9-108-public-5356-train-dungeon.39542/post-444762)

Woken by Cuz

You blink the sleep out of your eyes in a hurry as dark shapes being to manifest from the haze,

being > begin

Drop your weapons and your valuables into my associates’ hat here and-”

associates' hat > associate's hat, or associates' hats
Apostrophe after s is plural possessive.

Cooperate, lust loss

From the corner of your eye, you spot a trio of hyraxi thugs closing in on Jack, who puts up a brave resistance but but is eventually subdued.

Double "but" action

Select Warmistress

From the front, the opening chords of a triumphant power ballad start up. Your heart sinks. You guess they were able to grab Elystiel before she was able to fly off.

I don't recall an Elystiel being mentioned up to this point. Can't find them searching the wiki or discord either. Maybe someone you run into later in the dungeon, after this bad end is first available? Or meant to be a different name?

These little injections invariably give you an instant erection as well, and the teddy boys happily squat on that too, grunting as they milk their prostates with your shaft, using you in every way they are is to be used.

they are is > there is

In the morning Jack comes back down from the penthouse suite, looking clean and... distant. he doesn’t seem to notice you or any of the other prisoners, or remark on the fact you are utterly festooned in cum and covered in bites and slap-marks, which is astonishing considering. he just sits himself down and stares into the middle distance, lips gently parted, knees spread. You are unsure if it’s just a trick of the light that he appears to be steaming slightly.The next few months are a rough, tough adjustment for you and the other founding members of the Maretai harem.

1. Capitalize "he" at start of second sentence
2. Is the second sentence meant to end with "considering"? Seems abrupt.
3. Capitalize "he" at start of third sentence.
4. Space missing between fourth and fifth sentences.
(Edit: 1, 2, and 4 already reported here: https://forum.fenoxo.com/threads/0-9-108-public-5356-train-dungeon.39542/post-444762)

Jack has a tougher time adjusting. he is a man used to good living, giving orders and getting their way,

Capitalize "he"

With the greatest patience in the galaxy, you get pretty sick and tired of listening to him voice rising above the luxury lounge’s usual hubbub to complain and cry.

him voice > his voice

“Mmm.” Jack pecks her temple with his lips. You’ve known him long enough to tell when they’re showing genuine affection below their cattiness, and as you watch her lips press against the dusky, dusty flesh your last, faint hope snuffs out. “We’ll see.”

her lips > his lips
On the topic of Cuz's pronouns, is it acceptable to swap from his/her macros to they/their/them in the same sentence? Or in general? Not major, but seems odd when it's a mix in the same sentence.

Go It Alone, lust loss, hover over Warmistress button

If you're gonna be taken to her anyway, you'd rather just skip the unnecessary banging.// page break and go straight to the warmistress' bad end

Some stage directions got left in at the end.

Select Alpha Boy

In your current state, it takes no effort for him to haul you onto one of the seats access to your ass.

seats access > seats to get access

You’d like to blame it all on the aphrodisiac, but you know it’s more to that

know it's more to that > know it's more than that, or know there's more to it than that
(Edit Already reported here: https://forum.fenoxo.com/threads/0-9-108-public-5356-train-dungeon.39542/post-444762)

Next

True to his word, the raider makes sure your ass and mouth hardly go a day without at least one load. Usually far more than that. He even gets the hyraxi alchemist to jack up yourERROR: COULD NOT FIND ATTRIBUTE "highLibido" FOR OBJ "pc" sensitivity, so that you’re always ready to go and able to orgasm without even touching yourself.

ERROR: COULD NOT FIND ATTRIBUTE "highLibido" FOR OBJ "pc"
My libido
(Edit Already reported here: https://forum.fenoxo.com/threads/0-9-108-public-5356-train-dungeon.39542/post-444762)

Being filled with your alpha’s semen 24-7 becomes so natural that you even start to forget what it’s like not to his spunk in your ass, belly or both.

not to his > not to have his
(Edit Already reported here: https://forum.fenoxo.com/threads/0-9-108-public-5356-train-dungeon.39542/post-444762)

My word this thing's long. Gonna take a few tries to get to the end.

 

[voltfintrout]

Spoiler: Misc

Tavros
Riya, Talk

Over the next half hour or so, she gives you a detailed and shining recommendation for the latest installment in the VRMMORPG Occiyre and it’s latest expansion, Fury of the Ivory Lord.

it's > its

First Kiro distress call

You’re parked in the hangar of the distressed ship. You can step out to investigate at your leisure.

Previous page described a docking umbilical connecting to your ship. Leaving your ship describes an airlock connecting to the two ships. This note stating you are parked in a hangar seems inconsistent.

Two-tone brown fur sheaths her entire body from head to toe,

sheaths > sheathes
sheaths is the plural for the noun, sheathes is the verb

Install Sleep Fapnea Machine

You’ve installed a Sleep Fapnea device in your ship! You can access it from the storage menu.

(The Sleep Fapnea device has been removed from your inventory and installed.)
(You can access it from the bedroom on your ship.)

Two conflicting "You can access it from X" statements. First is incorrect, the machine cannot be accessed from the storage menu. It can be accessed from Utility Room and the bedroom, at least on the Casstech Z14.

Spoiler: Myrellion

First approach

Two of her arms point toward the largest of the hangers as she says,

hangers > hangars

Megrez, Sex

“So, what now?” His dick tenting his pants. You consider your options for a while.

Add "is" after "dick" or adjust to:
he asks, his dick tenting his pants.

Get Fucked

Balls slapping against your thighs as his wrinkly, leathery sheath bunches up against your hole.

slapping > slap

Suck Him

Despite the imminent loss of consciousness, your prick is throbbing violently Your arms fall to your sides and eyes roll up into the back of your head as you blackout.

Period missing after "violently"
blackout > black out

“That was great, thanks,” he says as you blush. You turn and walk away, mindful of your burdening belly.

burdening > burgeoning

Airstrip, Enter Plane

It’s a blessed relief when the plane lands, even if you’re nearly certain the bucket of bolts with rattle itself apart when it skids down the runway.

with > would or will

Kressia, Trading Post

Several other planet-rushers are coming and going from the building, in addition to red myr troops - and even a few golds.The storefront here is quite small, made smaller still by crates upon crates of equipment both local and futuristic stacked to the ceiling inside.

Space missing between sentences.

“First time here? Alright, then, listen up. The Federation sets up trading posts like this in every city we conquer.

Double space between sentences.

That’s one way to get a leg up on the enemy, you suppose. After a moment’s thought, you ask “Do you sell anything here?”

Add comma after "ask"

Fuck Her

She shrugs her shirt off, leaving herself with hands planted in her hips, black eyes wandering over your body.

in her hips > on her hips

Bend Over

With a nice, thick sheen on spit-lube and excess aphrodisiac coating her cockhead, Ren pushes forward with a slow, steady confidence.

sheen on > sheen of

Make Her Beg

Renvra licks her lips in anticipation and begins to grope you, sliding a hand up your thigh. Her arms are pinned under your legs suddenly as you throw your weight atop her.

Double space between sentences

Xanthe, She Stays

One after another, lube-filled orbs penetrate and push deep into your derriere.

lube-filled > lube-covered

Rusher, Surrender

Fucking you like a monster, she hammers your down against the ground, the force of her thrusts making it hard to breathe.

hammers your down > hammers you down

Wetraxxel Brawler, loss

You can feel his apple-sized nads churning as they unload, twitching against your battered petite ass until they’re shot every drop of wetraxxel cum deep into your gut.

they're > they've

Loss with high sumbissiveness

Minutes pass in worship of your master’s shaft, suckling and lick and jacking with every ounce of passion you can muster.

lick > licking

Your breath catches as your mouth and throat is suddenly filled with an explosion of hot, sticky wetness.

is > are

Loss with max submissiveness

You yelp, expectations of sex flipped on their heads as you’re throwing over the brawler’s shoulder like a sack of grain.

throwing > thrown

Ganrael Ambusher, lust loss

The ganrael focuses on kicking your equipment away with a surprising burst of excitement you with what could charitably be called interest as it sidles closer.

Seems part of this sentence was meant to be scrapped. Alternatives:
The ganrael focuses on kicking your equipment away with a surprising burst of excitement as it sidles closer.
The ganrael focuses on kicking your equipment away with what could charitably be called interest as it sidles closer.
The ganrael focuses on kicking your equipment away with what you could charitably call interest as it sidles closer.

Alpha Nyrea encounter

As if something is watching you, hidden just out of sight in the darkness of the tunnel. You slow your pace, hand drifting down to the butt of your primitive bow as your ears perk up, listening for any trace of a possible assailant.

Does not accommodate weapons without butts, like primitive bow or the default rock.

Alpha Nyrea, lust loss

You give a cry of surprise and pain as the nyrea deftly knocks your primitive bow out of your hand, shoving you back up against a cave wall - and pressing herself tight against you, already pulling the chain bikini off from around her hefty tits, letting them press against you as her fingers work into your Daedalus threads, mesh shirt, shibari bottoms, and adventurer’s coat, beginning to peel it off.

“I knew you’d come around,” she purrs. You suddenly become very aware of the pseudo-cock pressing into your thigh, already dribbling pre.

“Now you’ll get to father my young,” the huntress adds, her hands rubbing all over you, tits squeezing so hard against your plain chest that a little dribble of moisture beads on her black nipples. “I’ve never been with an offworlder... I wonder what our children shall look like, hmm?”

You squirm under her grasp, trying to evade her playful hands and failing miserably. She grins at you, slipping a hand under your Daedalus threads, mesh shirt, shibari bottoms, and adventurer’s coat and pinching one of your nipples, making you suck in a sharp breath. “Come now, there’s no reason we can’t enjoy each other, is there? Just relax, and we can both walk away happy...”

It’s not like you have much choice. Might as well enjoy it, right? You let your hands slip down past the huntress’s waist and grab a couple handfuls of her backside, squeezing her ass until the pseudo-cock pressing against your thigh jumps with excitement. “That’s the spirit!” she laughs, starting to strip off your Daedalus threads, mesh shirt, shibari bottoms, and adventurer’s coat. Her smooth, chitinous hands play across your skin, working slowly towards the space between your legs, eagerly approaching your tool, and balls.

The huntress slowly but surely strips off your Daedalus threads, mesh shirt, shibari bottoms, and adventurer’s coat, baring your body for her perusal.

Uses the full list of clothing four times in quick succession; two of which are starting to undress sequences, one slipping a hand under clothes that had already been removed. Suggest replacing some of these lists with generic "your clothing" or similar to reduce repetition.
Additionally, "peel it off" following full list of clothing in first instance.

Spoiler: Tarkus

Artifical Platform

Its surface gleams in the light from Tarkus’ sun in spite of the many scratches and scars that it bears.

Tarkus' > Tarkus's

Chasmfall

The veteran cocks an eyebrow at you, and mutters. “Damn rushers,” as he taps out his cigar onto the parched dirt.

Remove comma after "you" and replace period after "mutters" with comma.

Tarkus Tether, Engineering Deck

A short, curved flight of stairs take you down just below the surface, into a room full of gently-rumbling machines, powering the Lift Station...

take > takes, for agreement with "flight"

Take lift down

you check the ammunition readings on your weapon, satisfied you’re up for another encounter.

Not quite applicable if player has a weapon without ammunition readings, such as default rock or primitive bow

Lose to Kaska with 50+ lust

“That’s a good girl” Kaska says, ignoring your obvious masculinity,

Add comma after girl

“Just relax,” Kaska coos while unsubtly pushing herself through your virginal asshole.

Steele's asshole is very much not virginal at this point in my playthrough. Maybe needs something to check player stats instead of assuming?

Novahome, Jack & Shekka encounter

“Well, this baby’s hotter than fusion core rod,” the short-statured alien chirps.

than fusion > than a fusion

Shekka whistles, “Guess it’s a good thing you bought that, huh? She seems to recognize you.”

Change comma after "whistles" to period.