The "Silver" Wolf
- Thread starter Silver-Wolf
- Start date
As far as progress so far. (In my opinion) Obviously it's a new character to be "fleshed" out so to speak. What I've submitted, is a rough outline of said character, general features and possibly early interactions. Just to get a feel and, hopefully for more.. "Robust" scenes possibilities. To be blunt, I think it adds to the depth or care the player might have for said character. (Captain obvious heh)
My hopes are to have an easily implementable character that is pretty open as far the player is concerned. Not to give too many spoilers but, I digress. It tis after all, a work in progress and I am open to thoughts, possible scene ideas or perhaps even collaboration if I can properly convey this person to the best of my ability.
The big question though, is this character as interesting to you all, as it is to me?
Thanks in advance.
(OK I can breath again xP)
My hopes are to have an easily implementable character that is pretty open as far the player is concerned. Not to give too many spoilers but, I digress. It tis after all, a work in progress and I am open to thoughts, possible scene ideas or perhaps even collaboration if I can properly convey this person to the best of my ability.
The big question though, is this character as interesting to you all, as it is to me?
Thanks in advance.
(OK I can breath again xP)
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It's an interesting idea--I'm always looking for more men who are switches. To submit to the game, though, you do need to write a sex scene for an existing, already-sexable character first. That's a firm rule. So I'd suggest to keep adding to your ideas, but focus on one of those first!
Oh, I see you've already done one. If Wsan accepts, I'd suggest putting your scene up for community editing. I see a number of grammatical errors in your idea text, and I think the community could really help.
I would call the first drop, "notes v.1".
"V.2" is done but I didn't want to get too crazy right out the gate. lol
Had some pretty good ideas I feel like. Just tried to run with it while the iron was hot so to speak.
"V.2" is done but I didn't want to get too crazy right out the gate. lol
Had some pretty good ideas I feel like. Just tried to run with it while the iron was hot so to speak.
Would seriously be excited to get eyes on it, it's different but fits right in with other scenes in my opinion. We'll see I guess tho.
Yea, I may just have to keep it rolling. My first choice may have been abit, "ambitious" xD
Alante-Dream
"Do you want to take off your armor?" you ask. "I'd like to give you a brush." (Something in the back of your mind ticks, something vaguley familiar but you choose to ignore it..) She Smiles, perhaps even a bit more confident than you're used to as she strips, gingerly stepping closser to the ...
(Alante Dream)
Thamos v.1
Thamos the ''Silver'' Wolf He stands 6'6 easily, well-built and if you had to guess, over 200lbs wouldn't be a stretch by any means. His face is regal yet Dangerous, complete with long black fur and accents of grey- appearing almost ''Silver'' some say in the pale Moons Light. (perhaps the grey...
(V.1)
(progress i made towards v.2)
docs.google.com
Thamos-v.2
Thamos the ''Silver'' Wolf He stands 6'6 easily, well-built and if you had to guess, over 200lbs wouldn't be a stretch by any means. His face is regal yet Dangerous, complete with long black fur and accents of grey- appearing almost ''Silver'' some say in the pale Moons Light. (perhaps the grey...
Glad you posted! I'm going to move this to the submissions sub-forum, so people are more likely to find it.
I've read through it and I'm glad to see that you got the google doc set up. However and I don't say this to be a dick but to provide constructive criticism, there are a lot of spelling and grammer errors in it. I corrected what I could see of the former but you really need to work on that on both scores. You have a habit of capitalising words in the middle of sentences and starting a new sentence rather than finishing the previous one for example. Also, there are no parsers and the scene is far too short. This is what I meant by taking more time to write the scene, it will definitely take longer than an hour. This is not a bad first draft but it needs quite a bit more work and needs to be quite a bit longer too. Luckily, there are people on the forums who can and will help you with that. So don't be discouraged, writing for these games is tough, as an amateur writer for TiTs believe me I know, but it is rewarding and good writing practice.
Yea, it was a pain to use italics etc on notepad. (Just used some minor capitalization to emphasize things) It's not even tabbed over and all that propper formatting, I know. I'll be working on it for sure. Thank you for looking at it.
I went over it, mostly what TheIrishOtaku said fits. This is obviously first draft and layout. I didn't try and fix the line breaks, but noted some additional typos and extraneous capitalizations and punctuations. There's always room for more personalization to the reader with parsers, but I noted the in place areas that I saw where it would definitely be needed, like her calling Champ her husband when it might be wife for female Champs.
Content-wise, in my opinion (others can disagree), when you get around to polishing and adding to it, I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more scene setup; location, atmosphere, etc. even if it's fast and chaotic, like You blink your eyes and turn at the sound of your room's door opening and her stepping in, or you opening your eyes (seeming to wake up) with her pulling you out of bed, or any quick intro. I think the scene was basically her grinding Champ's cock against her fur. That means that this scene will likely only be available for be-dicked Champ's (possibly female Champs with a magicock, but I'd say if you don't restrict it to real cocks only then you should have some specific customized magicock lines). I'd say the sexualized part needs a bit more... girth... To me it was, she rubs Champ against her fur and Champ basically having an orgasm within one sentence or so. You could add a line about time passing, but I'd (and maybe it's only me) prefer more about her breath, her breasts heaving, beads of sweat, the scent of her musk, the building of the feeling in the Champ for the reader to share rather than just jumping straight to the orgasm.
Content-wise, in my opinion (others can disagree), when you get around to polishing and adding to it, I wouldn't mind seeing a bit more scene setup; location, atmosphere, etc. even if it's fast and chaotic, like You blink your eyes and turn at the sound of your room's door opening and her stepping in, or you opening your eyes (seeming to wake up) with her pulling you out of bed, or any quick intro. I think the scene was basically her grinding Champ's cock against her fur. That means that this scene will likely only be available for be-dicked Champ's (possibly female Champs with a magicock, but I'd say if you don't restrict it to real cocks only then you should have some specific customized magicock lines). I'd say the sexualized part needs a bit more... girth... To me it was, she rubs Champ against her fur and Champ basically having an orgasm within one sentence or so. You could add a line about time passing, but I'd (and maybe it's only me) prefer more about her breath, her breasts heaving, beads of sweat, the scent of her musk, the building of the feeling in the Champ for the reader to share rather than just jumping straight to the orgasm.
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