Notice how most male characters in the game are sub-leaning. This is not accidental. Making the PC dominant in sex scenes with a male character puts more of the focus on the PC and less on the guy. The guy is a prop. Walt barely talks in his scenes in favor of mostly growling and is basically ear-scratched into submission immediately, while Cynthia is very talkative and takes charge much more frequently during all of her scenes. The only major exceptions to this are characters like the New Texans or Gene, for whom male dominance is part of their fetish set. I managed to strike what I think is an okay balance with Lessau, but it's a difficult balancing act.
That's sweeping and not particularly true - I would characterise most of the named males in the game as being neither particularly submissive nor dominant, happy to swing or pitch regardless if some no-strings fun is available. Certainly this is true of Vahn, Geoff, Semith, the pool boys, Burt, Dally... hell, even Big T and Quenton can be characterised similarly. The likes of Jerome and Able are outliers. You have to preposition them, and that perhaps makes them appear submissive according to our own cultural mores, where we expect guys to be making the first move. But that is simply a function of the game itself. Almost all NPCs that aren't openly trying to rape you have to be prepositioned by the player, because otherwise they'd be deeply obnoxious, regardless of gender.
Writing male characters is usually harder, because as you said yourself, this dynamic favours female characters a lot more - players are very likely to be less bothered by sexually aggressive females, and it feels more natural to preposition them. However, you're projecting your own tastes, and your frustrations with write a lecherous male character, when you say "Guys that aren't submissive are props".