Remedy

[Night]

So about 2 years ago i was diagnosed with depression. And ever since, my life has been slowly gone downhill. At that time i wast still in high school and my grades had started dropping, i began to cut class and generally just...not be in my body anymore. Couple that with my already present anxiety and social awkwardness, i became a shell of someone i could no long recognize. I didn't have many friends and what few i did have were never close enough to me to understand. Not even my parents understood. Especially not after coming out as an atheist to them, if i wasn't their kid they wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me, so going to them wasn't an option. After being diagnosed it was a struggle to get them to understand, they just though i was "really sad" and would get over it sooner or latter. Funny how that turned out. 


Luckily for me i "found something". My senior year in high school started off pretty well, better that my junior year did. Grade were good and by graduation i had been accepted into my first choice college and was finally somewhat...happy. Freshman year in college sucked. I had to get along with two roommates, and live in a city where i had no one. I was alone. Didn't have any family or friends there, taking into account that i had never been any good at "fitting in" or being normal, i had to accept that. But it got worse. so much worse that..6 months from yesterday i tried to take my own life. That was something i never thought i would have to resort to but i did. 


Unfortunately didn't experience some "big shocking wake up call and realized how valuable my life was". I still felt like shit. And still do feel like shit. I was desperate to find some sort of outlet to cope, somewhere i could run away to instead of suicide. Then i remembered. A couple weeks into my senior year in high school i came across a game created by Fenoxo that gave me that. I world that i could escape to and feel like i had a reason to be there even if it was full of smut and pre-written scenarios i generally had no control over. I saw on the forums that they saw their PCs as just characters in a world. I saw mine as surrogate. He was me and i was him. As much as this is weird and very hard to put into writing i just have to say it, even if no one cares to listen.


Thank you to everyone involved in making these games and giving me a world(s) to escape to when mine came crumbling. 

 

[muttdoggy]

Even though I've got nothing to do with the creation of the games you escape with, I'm glad you found a way to cope with depression. It takes strength, motivation, and coping skills and you've shown yourself and others that you're capable of overcoming it. I'm familiar with depression. Not me as much but helping others cope with depression. I begin dealing with it before I even realize it. I'm one of the lucky few that somehow automatically goes into coping mode. It's because I've been through hell but I had a very positive and proactive support system. I would tell them what's going on daily and they'd show me how to make good choices. So now I'm acting as a supporter to my girlfriend and family members who are struggling with it.


Depression can be a described as someone feeling like water draining into a sink. You can't fight gravity and you can't activate the stopper since you're water and you can't reach it. So you feel yourself draining into nothingness. Many people (i used to do this!) think that helping someone with depression is to tell them to "snap out of it!". They mean well but it only adds to the depression because you feel worse for being unable to "snap out of it." Most people in depression have trouble with negative self-thoughts and generally don't have any drive.


What I've learned is that it's different for everyone to deal with it. I hate "psychologists" who swear by a "proven method that works every time." I don't know how many times I've heard "that old geezer doesn't know that they're talking about and they're worried about my medicine!" The smart ones will know that the approach to each person is as unique as they are. The trigger for the depression is always different and is always a valid reason. It can be a chemical change or an event. Focusing on the "trigger" as a cure is a MISTAKE. First deal with the depression and wait until they gain confidence before teaching them to cope with the triggers in the future.


What I do is I listen to them talk and show them that I'm actually listening, encourage them to think about what they feel, tell them good things about themselves that's concrete and immediate (like "wow your hair is sharp today"), encourage keeping pets and getting hobbies to occupy their time and thoughts, and when I notice a frown, sadness, or withdrawing I'll say or do something to redirect the situation. Eventually as they become more active and positive, then I'll point out what they've done well and say how I'm so glad it's working and then encourage them to make habits of it. That way they begin to cope by themselves. So when you realize that there's negativity going on with yourselves and your friends, I encourage you to take POSITIVE action. Help each other out. What makes me smile and keep on fighting is the knowledge that sometime soon either I will make someone laugh or they'll make me laugh and nothing is worth more that that.

 

[Nephilim_Anunnaki]

That's a story I am so familiar with...