Nexus the Superhero! (Act 1 Complete, Act 2 Submitted, Act 3 WIP)

[shovelry]

Act 1

Act 2

Post Act 2 dialogue and Act 3 setup

Act 3
(Could I just condense these into one document? Probably. Will I? Nah.)
Never done something like this, but I love TiTS (hyuck hyuck) and decided I'd try my hand at writing this kind of stuff.

Basically, Space Batgirl. So far I only have her initial encounter down, I just wanted to see if people would be interested. Nexus is more of a vigilante initially, aiming solely on bringing down the new sex-slavery ring, the Shackle. Steele can help Nexus deal blows against the Shackle, learn more about her overtime, and yes, will ultimately engage in THE SEX.

So, yeah. Suggestions, feedback, tell me if I'm missing something.

2/8: General dialogue, Mhen'ga Slavers and first Nexus mission added. That's about as far as I'll go for the moment until I get some feedback from the higher-ups - praise, criticism or otherwise. I know where I'll take this in the future if things go well.

2/21: Act 2 Mission mostly written with setup, battle and bad ending (with the SEXEH tiems)

2/23: Goo Armor Customization! Give your Giddy Gooey Gal a Cape! Comes with Superhero, Tattered, Collared (Vampire) and Detective Styles, and Short, Medium and Long Lengths!

2/24: Most of post-mission scene written. PLOT DEVELOPMENTS!!

3/3: Post mission dialogue with Nexus written, mountainous piles of backstory. Next up, act 3!

6/30: Act 3 mission and post sex-scene written.

 

[SoAndSo]

>glances over for a sec

Wait, I don't remember typing this.

(by all means continue though, it's looking pretty ok atm)

 

[shovelry]

>glances over for a sec

Wait, I don't remember typing this.

(by all means continue though, it's looking pretty ok atm)

Noooooot gonna lie, I kinda referred to your docs as a reference for formatting.

 

[NotYouNorI]

I just wanted to see if people would be interested

Don't. Just write it. They WILL cum.

 

[SoAndSo]

Noooooot gonna lie, I kinda referred to your docs as a reference for formatting.

Is all good man, we all do it.

 

[toritoritori]

Whoa, what a cool concept. And the writing thus far looks super solid. I'm excited to see where you take this.

 

[Chiyose]

Time to bust some more slavery rings.

 

[Lkynmbr24]

Left a few suggestions on the doc. Looks promising!

 

[csg608893]

Glad to see you're still working on this. I can't wait to see what it's like when it's finished.

 

[shovelry]

Since I like the response I've been given so far, I've added a fair amount more; tracking down Nexus and meeting her in her hideout on Uveto. Ideas and feedback are welcome and appreciated.

 

[Xeivous]

Threw in a couple of comments. I'm rather looking forward to further developments. Especially if it means we can out rich space batwoman.

 

[Zat]

So far I'm looking forward to this, it will be interesting to see if PCs get their own costume and cape.

 

[Crablord]

Never done something like this, but I love TiTS (hyuck hyuck) and decided I'd try my hand at writing this kind of stuff.

Basically, Space Batgirl. So far I only have her initial encounter down, I just wanted to see if people would be interested. Nexus is more of a vigilante initially, aiming solely on bringing down the new sex-slavery ring, the Shackle. Steele can help Nexus deal blows against the Shackle, learn more about her overtime, and yes, will ultimately engage in THE SEX.

So, yeah. Suggestions, feedback, tell me if I'm missing something.

Link to doc

I think if we have high enough reflex we should be able to avoid her initial attack and fight her
(i dont really want to get bitch made by a random girl in a bat costume)

 

[Preacher]

I think if we have high enough reflex we should be able to avoid her initial attack and fight her
(i dont really want to get bitch made by a random girl in a bat costume)

Same here, with high enough stats you should be able to at least fend off someone in scene. Actually beating one will require a battle IMO. Damn, now I want to dress up and be a villain.

"Halt, fiend! Your days of terror are at an end!" *throws titarang*

"You'll be a quivering slave to my whims soon enough naive little girl!" *blocks titarang* *laughs evil-ly*

 

[Zavos]

Random forced defeats without plenty of preparation or buildup is not okay. There needs to be a pretty audible warning that you're about to suffer serious shit, or a skill check of some sort. If the PC's defeat is so integral, just have PC win and Nexus never get involved (removed from playthru) if PC beats the skill check or combat.

 

[shovelry]

Random forced defeats without plenty of preparation or buildup is not okay. There needs to be a pretty audible warning that you're about to suffer serious shit, or a skill check of some sort. If the PC's defeat is so integral, just have PC win and Nexus never get involved (removed from playthru) if PC beats the skill check or combat.

It's not an actual combat loss. You don't actually lose anything from the first encounter.

 

[Zavos]

It's not an actual combat loss. You don't actually lose anything from the first encounter.

I know. However, forced loss is a touchy issue if a PC at any level of development could realistically overcome it through sheer overpoweredness. Getting pistol whipped to the head or stunned by a flashbang could reasonably be trivialized by proper equipments like power armor. You need to account for the PC's inherit plot armor and potential for infinite power if you want this to work.

 

[csg608893]

I know. However, forced loss is a touchy issue if a PC at any level of development could realistically overcome it through sheer overpoweredness. Getting pistol whipped to the head or stunned by a flashbang could reasonably be trivialized by proper equipments like power armor. You need to account for the PC's inherit plot armor and potential for infinite power if you want this to work.

Well if you really don’t like the idea of the pc being beaten why not make it so that if they pass a skill check (let’s say reflex) they manage to beat the first guy (or enter combat with him), and as they turn to face the other one they find Nexus having beaten the other guy already.

 

[shovelry]

Been a while, but I got back to work. I followed Zevos' feedback and added a scenario for high-level PCs in the introductory scene. (I dunno how to write a combat scene yet, I'll tackle that later on.) I've speculated some intended rewards from Nexus, wrote her request for after you first find her hideout, and made a few tweaks here and there.

 

[Xeivous]

Neat. Looking forward to seeing this progress further.

 

[shovelry]

2/4: Maintaining my current momentum in writing. Added a bunch of general dialogue with Nexus, exploring some of her background and laying the groundwork for future revelations. Next up, missions with Nexus! Build up her trust and she'll take you along on missions to deal blows to the Shackle.

You know what this means: I GOTTA LEARN HOW TO WRITE COMBAT! *uneasy 'hooray'*

 

[shovelry]

2/8: GOOD GOD that took a while. Wrote the entirety of the first mission and the conversation topics it unlocks, as well as the Shackle Slavers you can find on Mhen'ga to get Shackle Data. I think at the moment this is good enough to try submitting it. Lemme know what you think!

 

[Dark67titan]

interested in what act two is

 

[Xeivous]

All the mischievous dialogue for Steele is really entertaining. I want to be able to put a ring on this lady just so I can snark at her forever.

 

[shovelry]

Well, since Savin enjoyed Act 1 (smug chortling) I've started working on Act 2. Apparently I'm proficient in writing something for smut games! Hoo...ray?

 

[Xeivous]

I'm pretty sure that comment is the nicest thing i've seen Savin say to anyone ever.

 

[XBoxMaster131]

What's the comment? I'd read it myself, but I really don't wanna spoil it.

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

What's the comment? I'd read it myself, but I really don't wanna spoil it.

It's on the Gdoc the author put up and quite a lengthy note post by Savin.

I'll link it in spoiler tag if you like.

Spoiler

Hi! I really like this a lot! When I read "superhero" in the title I was prepared for some real garbagio, but man you're a damn good writer and made yourself a sweet little adventure to introduce her with. My only real complaint about this is probably the most obvious one, which is... "Where da smut at?" Even if you want to put off sex scenes for Nexus herself for later in her arc, there's at least an opportunity for a real good bad end in the Candlelight mission. I dunno if you've never written hardcore fuckin' before or just wanted to put off the commitment to a buncha sex scenes until later, but including at least one sex-themed bad end would really improve this project's position in the code backlog. Speaking of which, this is definitely getting a Thumbs Up from me and, if you can commit to doing Act 2+, I think this will definitely get in. I really hope you finish Nexus's story up, Shovel. This is good stuff.

 

[Dark67titan]

Yeah act 2 looking forward to the doc

 

[shovelry]

Act 2 is well underway. New link up top to the Act 2 doc, featuring the setup, a new character, a new location, a boss, and a smut-tastic bad end.

Again, feeling concerned about how much time I've sunk into this. But it's fun, so...