Just a scene with Verusha that I got permission from her writer to put together.
Give it a look, leave some edits, and enjoy.
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[Editors Wanted] New Verusha Scene
- Thread starter Freed85
- Start date
Just a scene with Verusha that I got permission from her writer to put together.
Give it a look, leave some edits, and enjoy.
As a fan of Verusha myself, I took a crack at an editing pass. Only two remaining comments:
- Can't remember off the top of my head how TITS handles dialogue, but it sometimes looks a little awkward jamming speech into the middle of a paragraph.
- It would be delightful to get a Red Myr Venom fork; the PC gives Verusha a little nip for fun after she first shoves their head down, but sends her into a facefucking frenzy that gets the whole bar's attention.
Just to raise a specific point: Verusha's "voice" is very weird in this scene.
- She seemingly gets flustered, and stutters? Over some ball-licking? Really?
- She tells the PC to "be a dear", which is an appellation I don't think she's ever used in the game.
- By contrast, she never refers to the PC as "bitch", which is (I believe) basically the only name she uses for them in the game.
- "Now you run along now" reads like a New Texan MILF engaging in mommydom play, rather than... well, Verusha. Again, compare it to how she dismisses the PC in the game.
I was considering some venom stuff but decided to go against it at the moment since it's not quite what I was going for with the scene. Dialogue in TiTS really depends from writer to writer as I've seen some doing it similarly to how I have it and others having dialogue separately.
As for most of the other parts, she's trying something a bit laid back and the scene is supposed to only pop up after you do her talks so she actually likes you a bit more(I accidentally deleted the note about that in the summary). She also doesn't just see you as just another asshole and she's trying to be a little nicer. When I talk to Doots he said it was fine.
The stuttering, to me at least, is because she has to pull you off her nuts do to you being really into it and actually has to put a little bit of effort into it. I'll probably rework it a little when I can.
Hopefully, this clears things up a little.
As for most of the other parts, she's trying something a bit laid back and the scene is supposed to only pop up after you do her talks so she actually likes you a bit more(I accidentally deleted the note about that in the summary). She also doesn't just see you as just another asshole and she's trying to be a little nicer. When I talk to Doots he said it was fine.
The stuttering, to me at least, is because she has to pull you off her nuts do to you being really into it and actually has to put a little bit of effort into it. I'll probably rework it a little when I can.
Hopefully, this clears things up a little.
If Doot's given it the okay, it's entirely up to you.
I now appreciate this is meant to be set when she knows the PC a little better, but it still doesn't really sound like Verusha to me - it's missing her (otherwise fairly consistent) verbal tics, and I still don't think the stutter works. She's fairly unflappable in-game, I don't think an overenthusiastic not-blowjob is going to rattle her cage.