Dumbest things you believed when you were a kid

[A Random Guy]

When I was 8 years old I overheard my parents talking about rumors of some actor being gay. Instead of just asking my parents what it meant I asked my friends the next day at school what gay means and their response, “it’s when someone likes men.” So a week or two later my dumbass called my female teacher gay because of a picture on her desk kissing her husband. One trip to the principal and an uncomfortably long talk from my parents later, I figured out what it actually meant.

 

[Kesil]

I used to think that TV station logos lived inside of televisions and walked around home at night.

 

[ScarletteKnight]

Okay, I 100% blame Treasure Planet, but I thought cats were girls and dogs were boys and they made babies together. But now I know dog girls are actually the best.

 

[Evil]

When I was 4 or 5, I used to think tidal waves were called tiger waves.

I blame the Poseidon Adventure.

 

[Grimoire]

I believed magic was real when my dad showed me a card trick and grandpa use to do coin tricks like the one from my ear. Then i went to see a bunch of shows at the county fair to see the old sawing the lady in half bit, the disappearing acts, the sleight of hand tricks with props. When I a saw a magician drop his wand and picked it up, i realized that the flowers were compacted inside the tube and then i noticed the magnetic coin bit my grandpa bites into that sticks back on. So i felt betrayed that magic wasn't real much like the same way Santa Claus doesn't exist. It worked out in the end for me though, now i love science fiction because its awesome stuff that hasn't happened ... yet.

 

[Taboo-Sho]

Use to think the Bowling pins in bowling alleys where shaped from fast hardening Liquid, and the machine made them during frames. THEY WHERE ALWAYS SO DAMN SHINY!

 

[coldmonkey]

When I was like 6 I used to think that doctors never got sick.

 

[ShySquare]

I used to think that a 20-something is an adult on the exact same level as a 40 or even 50 year old.
Boy was I wrong lol

 

[Dolphi]

I used to think the line "Im here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and im all out of gum" was horrifying since young me thought that the guy saying it was implying he was out of gum so he would chew his enemies asses instead, like graphic chewing not funny chewing.

I dont know why.

 

[TheDarkMaster]

That everything could be neatly categorized, from colours to people. Now I know that everything is complicated and it's better to think of most things as fuzzy continuums.

 

[Hanzo]

When I was 3, I used to think that cars with gullwing doors could fly.

 

[slinky prison]

~3 Had a kickass truck picture book. Ambulances were decked out stacked yagi antennas. I thought they were just things to scrape telephone poles as they rushed by to mark their presence.

3-5 I thought that the petals covering the seedpods on Mom's walleriana's were bad, so I would gently pull them off. Once the seedpods started elongating, I thought they were bad too, so I'd gently snap that off.

3-5v2 Tires needed hair cuts.

<7 Chipmunks were literally the fastest things observable.

 

[null_blank]

I used to think that 'military grade' meant it was good.

 

[ScarletteKnight]

I used to think that 'military grade' meant it was good.

My brother would find this absolutely hilarious, as a Marine.

 

[sumgai]

I used to think that if I had a magical sword and waved it over my head and shouted "I have the power!" would transform my skinny ass into a modern day Hercules.

I'm grateful that I destroyed the picture of my eight year old self in my underroos on top of an inflatable Battle-Cat.

 

[Galgano]

I used to think that the actors that got killed in movies actually died (not including the ones that actually did like Brandon Lee). Like, each movie that an actor dies in was the last movie they ever acted in.
[Edit] And another thing I just remembered about. I used to think that office meant “off ice”. This was further exacerbated by the fact that I never saw ice on top of any office buildings. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!

 

[Evil]

For the late 80s and early 90s, I thought the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters and the Michelin Man were the one and the same.

Although that said, my younger cousin was worse. He was so scared of the SPMM that whenever he saw the Michelin Man, he'd actually wet himself.

 

[Obzerver]

I used to believe that adults had their memories zapped MiB style, cause whenever I'd ask my mom or dad something about what their childhood/youth was like, they'd always go "I don't remember".

 

[coldmonkey]

I used to believe that adults had their memories zapped MiB style, cause whenever I'd ask my mom or dad something about what their childhood/youth was like, they'd always go "I don't remember".

Do you recall who you thought did the zapping?

 

[Obzerver]

Do you recall who you thought did the zapping?

Straight up just thought it was the government or church who did it, cause a lot of people I knew went to church and there was a ton of them around where I lived.

 

[Me]

The usual suspects, pee stored in the balls, cooties, etc. But some dumb beliefs will outdumb them all:

I used to own a plastic orb that when pressed would activate a light inside it and keep it glowing as long as you would squeeze it as one would expect a crystal ball would glow. I wasn't allowed to turn the lights on after 10, a power-saving thing my parents believed. Ever since I was read a particular story a fear of what hid in the darkness filled every inch of my mind whenever I had to go to the bathroom at night, and until I got that little ball I would rather hold it and hope no accidents occurred until morning than brave the hallways. I believed back then that for as long as I kept the ball's light going that I would be protected from the shadowy beings that would otherwise assault me.

So I squeezed it as hard as I could with as much bravery as I could muster with every step, truly in belief that it would help against phantoms that did not exist on my epic quest through the many-cornered hallways of my family home. For a time I was fine. Little did my young self know that, eventually, the orb's batteries would run out. One night it did finally give out just as I reached the bathroom door. Needless to say I panicked, too choked with fear to make much more noise than frantic whimpering as I begged the little ball to shine once more, and eventually just resigned to whatever demons might fall upon me.

Nothing came, it was just me in the dark, with a ball that won't shine anymore. It was quiet, it was peaceful. Business was concluded as usual but without my faithful little light. Today I treat the dark with a healthy sense of paranoia, as people should. But to fear it so that you're paralyzed by its presence without a crutch to abate it? Not anymore.

Dead belief - I'm a wizard with a magical ball that will protect me from the forces of darkness. BEWAH MAH POWAH!!!

 

[shrikes]

I was told by a classmate back in the first grade that you mustn't flip someone the bird and say f*ck you because if you did, the boogey man, who lived under the stairs, would visit you in the night to eat you.

When I was 5, before my first ever ride in an airplane, I was deathly afraid that the pilot would do Barrel Rolls, Immelmans and Split-Ses during the flight and I would be sick all over myself the whole way. I blame Iron Eagle and Top Gun.

I also used to think that cars would bump into each other on a regular basis on the road and that helped them steer (like bumper cars), but my dad was such a good driver, he didn't need to do this, and that if you drove fast enough, all the other traffic on the road would be behind you and there would be nothing but open road ahead so you could floor it. I think I can blame an obscure 80s show called Street Hawk for this one...

 

[B.M. Kaijusaur]

I don't know how I came to think this but, when I was little I believed that if you ate someone else's poop it would kill you but if it was your own you'd be fine. Now I do remember asking my mom if this was true and I swear she told me it was. Odds are I just caught her off guard by asking such a bizarre question out of the blue, but that didn't occur to me back then, so I took this belief as fact for years till I forgot about.

 

[Crablord]

Straight up just thought it was the government or church who did it, cause a lot of people I knew went to church and there was a ton of them around where I lived.

i still believe this

 

[savagesix]

For the late 80s and early 90s, I thought the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters and the Michelin Man were the one and the same.

Although that said, my younger cousin was worse. He was so scared of the SPMM that whenever he saw the Michelin Man, he'd actually wet himself.

What makes this even funnier is that the whole point of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man is that he's the exact opposite of scary. I guess you can't really explain that to a little kid, though.

 

[Grizzabella]

I was 1 or 2 when I first noticed the stars in the night sky...thought they were other cities and towns...the brightest were the well lit big cities like Vegas or Manhattan XD

 

[Galgano]

When I was young, I thought I was amazing for not being forced to scream out in ecstasy when I came from masturbating. I later learned that the screams and moans in hentai were very exaggerated.

 

[sumgai]

When I was young, I thought I was amazing for not being forced to scream out in ecstasy when I came from masturbating. I later learned that the screams and moans in hentai were very exaggerated.

When did you start watching hentai? XD

One of your family members didn't get you La Blue Girl for Christmas when you were 10 did they?

 

[Paradox01]

When I was a kid growing up in SoCal, I thought Dodger Stadium was the only place you could get foot-long hot dogs. One day, my dad took my brother and I to an Anaheim Angels home game and while waiting in line for food, I saw a picture of a foot-long hot dog.

Me: "Dad! What the heck?! They can't sell Dodger Dogs here!"
Dad: "Jesus Christ..."

 

[theblacksmith]

I used to think that tuna were teeny tiny fish because cans of tuna were really small.

In my defense, this is exactly the case with sardine tins.