i can share my experience and build, might not be precisely what you ordered and a lot of text but i hope it helps. even if my build is more support mage tank maybe the equip info helps. arch99 posted a "presence stacking" tank build i liked a lot, but some things didn't match my preferences so i tweaked it some. what i did is, i start orc warrior barbarian for 3 toughness. main reason because hp is the universal survival stat, additionally works to boost healing since its %hp, second is because it's the passive scaling and the only actual scaling in the build besides presence and leadership. finally because giga chad hp number even if its only by 15.
stats are str toughness presence. toughness and presence are the only ones you directly use in this build which can kinda feel bad and off but it does work, the third stat you just want anything besides willpower (because if you marry kiyoko and get bentos, you have max willpower on demand along with well fed, one of the easiest and reliable boosts. sucks for a while if you absolutely must use spells but if you think of it as dual classing or evolving as you go it'd be less of a pain). toughness as explained before, presence because it's additional hp, and also stacks leadership. i don't think it's a good idea to sacrifice purely for leadership though, but it's a very good secondary stat for your party and summon. i like strength for armor, armor's most commonly useful against attacks, mixed damage etc. helps rare auto attacks as well. if you're in an area where you absolutely need another defensive stat i'd keep the same stats but just get a drink, or just change equipment.
equipment honestly doesn't have a perfect loadout, however at the current state of the game, there is one thing i must recommend. many people recommend guldring, i dont. the leadership is good, however you probably won't use the passive really, and the spellpower is a low priority stat for wall tanking. however, the dawnsword has 2 particular unique features you may look over, first it's one handed so you can use a shield. but secondly, its the only current weapon that has defensive bonuses (besides evade). with heavier armor reducing evasion a great deal already, and shielded stance defense buffs, the dawnsword is the best primary. guldrings leadership bonus is not worth it, and can be replaced by your choice of utility ring. leadership loss does hurt but you don't need to sacrifice what you need for a nice bonus basically. besides that for gear progression, you prioritize defenses, bigger the total number of them the better (better to have gear thats 20 armor, 20 ward, 20 focus than only 30 ward), and you want to try, if possible, to make armor, ward and focus as close as possible. there will naturally be a divide but do your best as a secondary goal. evade will most likely be reduced as you go so it just has to be forsaken. several options are preference, like the senninbari vs bountiful bag. do you/will you reach 0hp or do you benefit more from healing over a battle etc.
full abilities can be acquired early compared to most builds, your goal is shielded stance, bless, vanguard, and your summon. ult is preference, inspiration can be a lifesaver against team wipes, but so can unbreakable. you want these abilities because your rotation is to start with bless (for your party's first barrage or nuke), vanguard on yourself for threat and def boost, your summon, if nothing is up defend to boost defenses, and then loop as needed. your summon choice actually is important, and level restrictions don't seem to matter, the primary thing is to summon them in a low level encounter and read their stats and abilities. the only ones with minimal use are the flame spirit and wolf, or basically, ones with few abilities and no passives. to avoid confusion its easiest to think of the choices as dps, tanks or supports, and use them to compliment your team. in this build i primarily recommend avoiding the flame knight, as it's a tank. flame dancer is great though, the moth seems pretty ridiculous as well, along with the other quest rewards. they're not all equal but most of them have party worthy special features. make sure in the underwater cave of challenge you do a aggressive drum beat to get the horn to summon cassidy. might have to take agni for the dialogue also not sure.
party is highly flexible, but i recommend avoiding someone that has "generates threat", bless themselves, or is solely support. meaning i recommend damage kits with max one secondary heal and one party member with a base heal. fun example comp is outrider etheryn and base cait. etheryn gets several passive upgrades, has aoe damage, a group heal (more useful since you have summons), status effects, dmg boost on enemies with status effects, a useful ult, and is very story relevant. her summon steps on your toes but has its uses if you cant use a early turn to summon and have to rely on defense. cait is reliable healing with status effects and light damage and when she crits she has a mini group heal, she also has a res in case etheryn or yourself goes down. many options especially as kits are added you just don't want tanks since you're dedicated and don't want a dedicated healer really since that would mean 2 party members not attacking. if you really want to though make sure your summon is solely offense oriented.
overall, tanks are probably the best options for summoners because their other encounter abilities are the least needed or role oriented, conq plate, helm of heroes and presence giving natural leadership, and i don't feel offensive abilities for them are that great because you won't have enough slots to both buff defense and capitalize on attacks. however blessing, summons and your leadership makes up for that gap. hope this helps you or someone
oh and also tough skin is og af