A femdom adventure (demo v2.2)

koblas

Member
Aug 2, 2018
13
2
27
This is a story of a boy that really wants to be an explorer, but he must learn how to fight and survive before. So he goes in a Dojo where Elize (the master) will teach him how to become a real explorer. In the game you can find: -Femdom -Foot fetish -Ass fetish -Wrestling poses
This is a raw version of the demo (lots of bugs, mistakes, and it is not finished yet), I will update it (the public version) So you will be able to fight against elize ( the last fight of the demo)
The game is still a demo and I will update it on my patreon https://www.patreon.com/koblas.
Some pictures:
Elize posizione 1.png Candice massagee.png Elize feet .png mary posa 2 v2 .png
Link of the demo:
https://mega.nz/#!XfZUzAzT!QXVqpA_uiZrNTvKewFr2tEMBlJ0GfZpVEhoUBHIYMpA

On my patreon I will realase a "patreon demo" with some exclusive contents, and then the full game with a patch every month
Demo contents: Elize's Dojo---> You must finish this training in order to start explore new places
Full game contents: Adventures in a world full of events (travel with a ship, discover new wild and dangerous places, a lot of new characters and enemies).
 
Last edited:

DawnCry

Well-Known Member
Sep 18, 2016
103
69
30
Ok this game is the "extremely novice attemp" in making a game, so first of all I'm gonna start with the starting advice:

-Try to find more tylesets, the dojo doesn't give me the feeling of a dojo, first of all it is important to end the room by adding walls, leaving it open gives a feeling of "the creator didn't even care to end the room". That weird door that doesn't make any sense and if you click it then it opens feels wrong at so many levels, those statues and barrels feels like you just didn't know what to put in the dojo, and that merchant was... sigh. I will just say that you need to give it more work and thought.

-The conversations and introduction is as bad as the map, you have to understand that not only do I find multiple grammar mistakes at the start but it goes directly to the point with almost zero explanation about... everything, first full sentence that I find it was full of mistakes, the sentence was "Remember that only when you will finish the training new places", while I don't have a perfect english at the very least it should be written as "You should remember that only by defeating them will you be able to finish your training and explore new places".

-The game doesn't have any personal touch of you as the creator, things as simple as changing the menu color, or the style of the letters just add it something special, even more it is more than recommended to learn to create additional stats and things like that because following only a sequence doesn't feel right. For example think about the fights, the girls will not even have changed dialogue depending on how many times they defeated you, it is always the same.

To tell you the truth as a player I don't know what you want to do, it's confusing to say the least. I highly recommend to learn more about rpg maker and how you can do what you want because right now it is quite bad.
 

koblas

Member
Aug 2, 2018
13
2
27
Ok this game is the "extremely novice attemp" in making a game, so first of all I'm gonna start with the starting advice:

-Try to find more tylesets, the dojo doesn't give me the feeling of a dojo, first of all it is important to end the room by adding walls, leaving it open gives a feeling of "the creator didn't even care to end the room". That weird door that doesn't make any sense and if you click it then it opens feels wrong at so many levels, those statues and barrels feels like you just didn't know what to put in the dojo, and that merchant was... sigh. I will just say that you need to give it more work and thought.

-The conversations and introduction is as bad as the map, you have to understand that not only do I find multiple grammar mistakes at the start but it goes directly to the point with almost zero explanation about... everything, first full sentence that I find it was full of mistakes, the sentence was "Remember that only when you will finish the training new places", while I don't have a perfect english at the very least it should be written as "You should remember that only by defeating them will you be able to finish your training and explore new places".

-The game doesn't have any personal touch of you as the creator, things as simple as changing the menu color, or the style of the letters just add it something special, even more it is more than recommended to learn to create additional stats and things like that because following only a sequence doesn't feel right. For example think about the fights, the girls will not even have changed dialogue depending on how many times they defeated you, it is always the same.

To tell you the truth as a player I don't know what you want to do, it's confusing to say the least. I highly recommend to learn more about rpg maker and how you can do what you want because right now it is quite bad.
Thanks for the advices! I will work on dialogues and on that mistake at the start( I cut a part on that dialogue). About the story I want that it remains pretty general, so you won't find any explanation about who you are and in what kind of world you are. Hope you will try the final version of the demo to give other advices!
 
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vyyr

Member
Oct 17, 2015
9
0
it remind me the tower trample game from bo wei, only play vs mery for now, like the idea but the combat sistem is pretty simple rigth now, i hit her she hit me. i would like for example diferent attacks, maybe she will kick me or maybe she will punch me 2 or 3 times.

second, when she beat me, i heal up every time, after i beat her one time i wont heal and its not worth getting defeat 4 or 5 times to get potions only to be defeat again.

and for the fetish part, the game is about foot fetish, im ok with that but you can get a lot of patrons if you add some other fetishes, some ballbusting , some ass worship, i dont know, other stuff

i like the idea but the game can improve and i hope it will, sorry for my english ^^
 

koblas

Member
Aug 2, 2018
13
2
27
Thanks for the feedback. I have to admit that I have the fetish for the farming (die a lot of time untill you can beat her), but don't worry, I will introduce new things to make it less boring
 

Bronzechair

Well-Known Member
Aug 30, 2015
150
6
I have a few thoughts.

First off, I'm a big fan of games like Tower of Trample (actually all of Bo Wei's games) and Goddess of Trampling, where a major mechanic is getting stomped and coming back stronger to whup ass. So please understand where I'm coming from here when I say that you have to keep in mind pacing is super important, even in these kinds of games where you're expected to lose a lot.

In ToT, you can beat Scarlett after just two or three losses if you know her patterns (a couple more losses if you're starting fresh). In this game, you have to lose to Mary 13 times to be able to buy the better axe and armor, then probably a couple more times for restorative items. Plus you want to be level 5 so you can cast Fire three times in a row. I will grant that the (expensive) axe may be unnecessary because Fire does most of the heavy lifting, but the point is that you really need to consider if the same battle is detailed and interesting enough to be fought 10-15 times. In the case of Mary, I'm going to say it's not, because there is very little flavor and mechanics involved. Eric attacks, Mary attacks, Eric attacks, Mary attacks three times, etc. The only thing breaking up the attack spam is the scene transitions, which are fine, but not engaging enough to warrant seeing a dozen times.

Related, I find Mary's first transition to be annoying because it's slow, changes the music, and occurs at random. Because there's no way to get up or otherwise interact with it, it isn't actually a gameplay mechanic, it's just a bit of scenery change. Ideally, it would have some kind of function as well as giving the player something nice to look at. It could be something as simple as raising her chance of doing the 2x/3x attack when you're on the ground and you have to decide between getting up to mitigate incoming damage or staying down to power through, or something more complex like her getting new skills or applying a status effect when she's in this dominant position. Whatever it is, something meaningful needs to happen. Beyond that, more flavor is a good idea. Varied text for descriptions, in-battle dialogue, cosmetic changes to keep things fresh.

I managed to do enough damage to Mary to very abruptly (because Eric essentially teleports into position) trigger her toe-licking scene, then she kicked me over immediately afterwards, which seems to have moved the scene backwards. It's not strictly a problem, but it seems a bit awkward. It's probably best to give her a dedicated skill that kicks Eric over into a on-the-ground stance, and then she can do all of the follow-up scenes to greater effect if the player doesn't struggle free from said stance. From a game design standpoint, this suggestion is debatable because typically you reward the player for winning, and the reward in porn games is sexy scenes, so it seem counter-intuitive to show the sexy scenes when you play poorly (in this case, that means the player doesn't or can't struggle free), but that's kind of the nature of the beast with masochistic fetishes. In an ideal world, you would do both so everyone's happy.

You only get free healing after losing to Mary (level 1 only) and Elize. If you beat Mary or lose to ghosts or need to recover from grinding spiders, you have to throw a match against Mary in order to carry on. This should be patched up for streamlining purposes, since you already need to lose to Mary so much.

There may be a bit of an oversight with Mary's damage potential. You can gain defense, which mitigates her normal attack, but her double and triple attacks never go down in damage, so I'm guessing they're using magic attack instead of physical. It gets to a point where you only take 10-20 damage from her normal attack while still taking 90 (per hit) from the double and triple attacks.

In Candice's area, the ghosts are not thematically appropriate in a game that's otherwise about getting your ass kicked by sexy women. I also don't understand the design purpose of the traps. You can see them and you can trigger them by standing next to them and interacting, so there's no way to NOT eat them, but then they never respawn. It would be best if they were somewhat hidden (and respawn at random locations each attempt) and the player could either disarm or avoid them. As they are now, you HAVE to take the damage, and only on the first go-through. From a game design standpoint that's not good because it's just punishing the player for no reason, and the fact that they're not there on the follow-up runs simply adds tedium to the run. Any "frustration" (air-quotes because it's all part of the fetish) the player gets should be coming from being dominated by the sexy women, not spike traps and stock ghosts and not having brought enough potions to tank through everything.

Resting at the igloo suggests it heals you, but it doesn't. Also, Candice has six toes on her left foot in the massage scene.

The merchant in Candice's area feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. It's just some generic dude who overcharges you, whereas I would have made something more like the evil merchants in Bo Wei's games. I won't dwell on this one, but it's something to think about.

Please recognize when the player has already done something and shorten or change the text appropriately. I don't want to hear Eric acting shocked at how dangerous the mountain is every single time I want to go there, Candice shouldn't introduce herself to me endlessly, the dojo shop-keep only ever gives advice on Mary. Related, there's a lot of little polish needed for progression: for example, Elize still tells you that you need to beat the others to end your training, and at no point is it mentioned that you have to fight Elize, and the option to fight her just appears after you're done with Ula.

Map design. There are a lot of people who will dismiss your game solely because it was created in RPG Maker. There are an assortment of reasons for this not-uncommon discrimination, but one of the major ones is that RPG Maker maps are very poorly designed, and I have to point out that your game is no exception to this stereotype. They're barren and featureless, other than the windy pathways that promote tedium by being too large (holding W doesn't make for good gameplay) and prolong the uneventful walking. In this style of game, less is more. You want compact, heavily detailed maps that hint at a story, not extended fields with a single linear path through and no real cohesion to speak of. Who put these spike traps here? Who is this merchant and why is he standing in the middle of a frozen wasteland? What's the point of this igloo? Where'd all these ghosts come from? What is this magic circle, and why does it teleport me to the next area? What was that gate at the beginning? I went through the entirety of Candice's area, and I have no idea why any of that stuff was the way it was. I get that some of it is random humor or placeholders, like you the dev being depicted as a dog or a barrel, and that's fine, but the real stuff should have some kind of method to the madness. Otherwise, it's very irritating in the moment and then forgettable later.

Spiders are also not thematically appropriate, and why do they cause a game-over but the ghosts just bundle you up and return you safely to your dojo?

Eric's secondary class should not be "kiddo." It's suggestive in a way you do not want.

The censorship is a bit weird. "footj**," "ash***", etc. It's a porn game; what's the big deal?

There's... a lot of English issues. Too many for me to address. I recommend hiring an editor if the cash rolls in.

Mary's foot in her first scene needs a small touch-up. What should be her pinky toe is her big toe, and she only has four toes. Kind of glaring in a foot fetish game.

Speaking of art, I appreciate you doing custom sprites, but they need a bit of shading to not clash with all of the stock sprites and the tileset.

Ula's area: The tent doesn't seem to do anything. You can pick up the key in the leaves an infinite number of times. Snakes and man-eating plants... well, you know what I'm going to say about these.

You can buy Mary's shoes infinitely, though they only have an effect once. Speaking of doing the same thing over and over, the event tiles in Candice and Ula's maps can be triggered as many times as you want by stepping back into them.

Hard Leather sells for 2,500g, but is bought for only 400g. Infinite money. You can raise your ATK infinitely with Candice's shoes if you buy enough pairs of them (though she always still has more, and the ones you sniff just... disintegrate, I guess.

I didn't beat Elize because it appears to be impossible to do damage to her, even with the Holy Symbol equipped. Everything working as intended?

If you've read this far, you'll have noticed that I complain a lot, but I only played the game as much as I did and wrote up this constructive criticism because I love the genre and related kinks, I'm interested in the game, and I feel like it has potential. Hopefully you gleaned something useful from this post. Carry on, I'll be watching.
 

koblas

Member
Aug 2, 2018
13
2
27
Thanks a lot! Of course you are helping me so much(it’s my first attempt to create a take so I’ve done a lot of mistakes). To beat elize you have to resist, nothing else. Also I know that the demo is not “deep” in a technical way and also from the writing point, but I will improve in the future game where I will be able to use better graphic and script. Thanks a lot for the feedback! (I have changed a lot the prices)
I have a few thoughts.

First off, I'm a big fan of games like Tower of Trample (actually all of Bo Wei's games) and Goddess of Trampling, where a major mechanic is getting stomped and coming back stronger to whup ass. So please understand where I'm coming from here when I say that you have to keep in mind pacing is super important, even in these kinds of games where you're expected to lose a lot.

In ToT, you can beat Scarlett after just two or three losses if you know her patterns (a couple more losses if you're starting fresh). In this game, you have to lose to Mary 13 times to be able to buy the better axe and armor, then probably a couple more times for restorative items. Plus you want to be level 5 so you can cast Fire three times in a row. I will grant that the (expensive) axe may be unnecessary because Fire does most of the heavy lifting, but the point is that you really need to consider if the same battle is detailed and interesting enough to be fought 10-15 times. In the case of Mary, I'm going to say it's not, because there is very little flavor and mechanics involved. Eric attacks, Mary attacks, Eric attacks, Mary attacks three times, etc. The only thing breaking up the attack spam is the scene transitions, which are fine, but not engaging enough to warrant seeing a dozen times.

Related, I find Mary's first transition to be annoying because it's slow, changes the music, and occurs at random. Because there's no way to get up or otherwise interact with it, it isn't actually a gameplay mechanic, it's just a bit of scenery change. Ideally, it would have some kind of function as well as giving the player something nice to look at. It could be something as simple as raising her chance of doing the 2x/3x attack when you're on the ground and you have to decide between getting up to mitigate incoming damage or staying down to power through, or something more complex like her getting new skills or applying a status effect when she's in this dominant position. Whatever it is, something meaningful needs to happen. Beyond that, more flavor is a good idea. Varied text for descriptions, in-battle dialogue, cosmetic changes to keep things fresh.

I managed to do enough damage to Mary to very abruptly (because Eric essentially teleports into position) trigger her toe-licking scene, then she kicked me over immediately afterwards, which seems to have moved the scene backwards. It's not strictly a problem, but it seems a bit awkward. It's probably best to give her a dedicated skill that kicks Eric over into a on-the-ground stance, and then she can do all of the follow-up scenes to greater effect if the player doesn't struggle free from said stance. From a game design standpoint, this suggestion is debatable because typically you reward the player for winning, and the reward in porn games is sexy scenes, so it seem counter-intuitive to show the sexy scenes when you play poorly (in this case, that means the player doesn't or can't struggle free), but that's kind of the nature of the beast with masochistic fetishes. In an ideal world, you would do both so everyone's happy.

You only get free healing after losing to Mary (level 1 only) and Elize. If you beat Mary or lose to ghosts or need to recover from grinding spiders, you have to throw a match against Mary in order to carry on. This should be patched up for streamlining purposes, since you already need to lose to Mary so much.

There may be a bit of an oversight with Mary's damage potential. You can gain defense, which mitigates her normal attack, but her double and triple attacks never go down in damage, so I'm guessing they're using magic attack instead of physical. It gets to a point where you only take 10-20 damage from her normal attack while still taking 90 (per hit) from the double and triple attacks.

In Candice's area, the ghosts are not thematically appropriate in a game that's otherwise about getting your ass kicked by sexy women. I also don't understand the design purpose of the traps. You can see them and you can trigger them by standing next to them and interacting, so there's no way to NOT eat them, but then they never respawn. It would be best if they were somewhat hidden (and respawn at random locations each attempt) and the player could either disarm or avoid them. As they are now, you HAVE to take the damage, and only on the first go-through. From a game design standpoint that's not good because it's just punishing the player for no reason, and the fact that they're not there on the follow-up runs simply adds tedium to the run. Any "frustration" (air-quotes because it's all part of the fetish) the player gets should be coming from being dominated by the sexy women, not spike traps and stock ghosts and not having brought enough potions to tank through everything.

Resting at the igloo suggests it heals you, but it doesn't. Also, Candice has six toes on her left foot in the massage scene.

The merchant in Candice's area feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. It's just some generic dude who overcharges you, whereas I would have made something more like the evil merchants in Bo Wei's games. I won't dwell on this one, but it's something to think about.

Please recognize when the player has already done something and shorten or change the text appropriately. I don't want to hear Eric acting shocked at how dangerous the mountain is every single time I want to go there, Candice shouldn't introduce herself to me endlessly, the dojo shop-keep only ever gives advice on Mary. Related, there's a lot of little polish needed for progression: for example, Elize still tells you that you need to beat the others to end your training, and at no point is it mentioned that you have to fight Elize, and the option to fight her just appears after you're done with Ula.

Map design. There are a lot of people who will dismiss your game solely because it was created in RPG Maker. There are an assortment of reasons for this not-uncommon discrimination, but one of the major ones is that RPG Maker maps are very poorly designed, and I have to point out that your game is no exception to this stereotype. They're barren and featureless, other than the windy pathways that promote tedium by being too large (holding W doesn't make for good gameplay) and prolong the uneventful walking. In this style of game, less is more. You want compact, heavily detailed maps that hint at a story, not extended fields with a single linear path through and no real cohesion to speak of. Who put these spike traps here? Who is this merchant and why is he standing in the middle of a frozen wasteland? What's the point of this igloo? Where'd all these ghosts come from? What is this magic circle, and why does it teleport me to the next area? What was that gate at the beginning? I went through the entirety of Candice's area, and I have no idea why any of that stuff was the way it was. I get that some of it is random humor or placeholders, like you the dev being depicted as a dog or a barrel, and that's fine, but the real stuff should have some kind of method to the madness. Otherwise, it's very irritating in the moment and then forgettable later.

Spiders are also not thematically appropriate, and why do they cause a game-over but the ghosts just bundle you up and return you safely to your dojo?

Eric's secondary class should not be "kiddo." It's suggestive in a way you do not want.

The censorship is a bit weird. "footj**," "ash***", etc. It's a porn game; what's the big deal?

There's... a lot of English issues. Too many for me to address. I recommend hiring an editor if the cash rolls in.

Mary's foot in her first scene needs a small touch-up. What should be her pinky toe is her big toe, and she only has four toes. Kind of glaring in a foot fetish game.

Speaking of art, I appreciate you doing custom sprites, but they need a bit of shading to not clash with all of the stock sprites and the tileset.

Ula's area: The tent doesn't seem to do anything. You can pick up the key in the leaves an infinite number of times. Snakes and man-eating plants... well, you know what I'm going to say about these.

You can buy Mary's shoes infinitely, though they only have an effect once. Speaking of doing the same thing over and over, the event tiles in Candice and Ula's maps can be triggered as many times as you want by stepping back into them.

Hard Leather sells for 2,500g, but is bought for only 400g. Infinite money. You can raise your ATK infinitely with Candice's shoes if you buy enough pairs of them (though she always still has more, and the ones you sniff just... disintegrate, I guess.

I didn't beat Elize because it appears to be impossible to do damage to her, even with the Holy Symbol equipped. Everything working as intended?

If you've read this far, you'll have noticed that I complain a lot, but I only played the game as much as I did and wrote up this constructive criticism because I love the genre and related kinks, I'm interested in the game, and I feel like it has potential. Hopefully you gleaned something useful from this post. Carry on, I'll be watching.
ot
I have a few thoughts.

First off, I'm a big fan of games like Tower of Trample (actually all of Bo Wei's games) and Goddess of Trampling, where a major mechanic is getting stomped and coming back stronger to whup ass. So please understand where I'm coming from here when I say that you have to keep in mind pacing is super important, even in these kinds of games where you're expected to lose a lot.

In ToT, you can beat Scarlett after just two or three losses if you know her patterns (a couple more losses if you're starting fresh). In this game, you have to lose to Mary 13 times to be able to buy the better axe and armor, then probably a couple more times for restorative items. Plus you want to be level 5 so you can cast Fire three times in a row. I will grant that the (expensive) axe may be unnecessary because Fire does most of the heavy lifting, but the point is that you really need to consider if the same battle is detailed and interesting enough to be fought 10-15 times. In the case of Mary, I'm going to say it's not, because there is very little flavor and mechanics involved. Eric attacks, Mary attacks, Eric attacks, Mary attacks three times, etc. The only thing breaking up the attack spam is the scene transitions, which are fine, but not engaging enough to warrant seeing a dozen times.

Related, I find Mary's first transition to be annoying because it's slow, changes the music, and occurs at random. Because there's no way to get up or otherwise interact with it, it isn't actually a gameplay mechanic, it's just a bit of scenery change. Ideally, it would have some kind of function as well as giving the player something nice to look at. It could be something as simple as raising her chance of doing the 2x/3x attack when you're on the ground and you have to decide between getting up to mitigate incoming damage or staying down to power through, or something more complex like her getting new skills or applying a status effect when she's in this dominant position. Whatever it is, something meaningful needs to happen. Beyond that, more flavor is a good idea. Varied text for descriptions, in-battle dialogue, cosmetic changes to keep things fresh.

I managed to do enough damage to Mary to very abruptly (because Eric essentially teleports into position) trigger her toe-licking scene, then she kicked me over immediately afterwards, which seems to have moved the scene backwards. It's not strictly a problem, but it seems a bit awkward. It's probably best to give her a dedicated skill that kicks Eric over into a on-the-ground stance, and then she can do all of the follow-up scenes to greater effect if the player doesn't struggle free from said stance. From a game design standpoint, this suggestion is debatable because typically you reward the player for winning, and the reward in porn games is sexy scenes, so it seem counter-intuitive to show the sexy scenes when you play poorly (in this case, that means the player doesn't or can't struggle free), but that's kind of the nature of the beast with masochistic fetishes. In an ideal world, you would do both so everyone's happy.

You only get free healing after losing to Mary (level 1 only) and Elize. If you beat Mary or lose to ghosts or need to recover from grinding spiders, you have to throw a match against Mary in order to carry on. This should be patched up for streamlining purposes, since you already need to lose to Mary so much.

There may be a bit of an oversight with Mary's damage potential. You can gain defense, which mitigates her normal attack, but her double and triple attacks never go down in damage, so I'm guessing they're using magic attack instead of physical. It gets to a point where you only take 10-20 damage from her normal attack while still taking 90 (per hit) from the double and triple attacks.

In Candice's area, the ghosts are not thematically appropriate in a game that's otherwise about getting your ass kicked by sexy women. I also don't understand the design purpose of the traps. You can see them and you can trigger them by standing next to them and interacting, so there's no way to NOT eat them, but then they never respawn. It would be best if they were somewhat hidden (and respawn at random locations each attempt) and the player could either disarm or avoid them. As they are now, you HAVE to take the damage, and only on the first go-through. From a game design standpoint that's not good because it's just punishing the player for no reason, and the fact that they're not there on the follow-up runs simply adds tedium to the run. Any "frustration" (air-quotes because it's all part of the fetish) the player gets should be coming from being dominated by the sexy women, not spike traps and stock ghosts and not having brought enough potions to tank through everything.

Resting at the igloo suggests it heals you, but it doesn't. Also, Candice has six toes on her left foot in the massage scene.

The merchant in Candice's area feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. It's just some generic dude who overcharges you, whereas I would have made something more like the evil merchants in Bo Wei's games. I won't dwell on this one, but it's something to think about.

Please recognize when the player has already done something and shorten or change the text appropriately. I don't want to hear Eric acting shocked at how dangerous the mountain is every single time I want to go there, Candice shouldn't introduce herself to me endlessly, the dojo shop-keep only ever gives advice on Mary. Related, there's a lot of little polish needed for progression: for example, Elize still tells you that you need to beat the others to end your training, and at no point is it mentioned that you have to fight Elize, and the option to fight her just appears after you're done with Ula.

Map design. There are a lot of people who will dismiss your game solely because it was created in RPG Maker. There are an assortment of reasons for this not-uncommon discrimination, but one of the major ones is that RPG Maker maps are very poorly designed, and I have to point out that your game is no exception to this stereotype. They're barren and featureless, other than the windy pathways that promote tedium by being too large (holding W doesn't make for good gameplay) and prolong the uneventful walking. In this style of game, less is more. You want compact, heavily detailed maps that hint at a story, not extended fields with a single linear path through and no real cohesion to speak of. Who put these spike traps here? Who is this merchant and why is he standing in the middle of a frozen wasteland? What's the point of this igloo? Where'd all these ghosts come from? What is this magic circle, and why does it teleport me to the next area? What was that gate at the beginning? I went through the entirety of Candice's area, and I have no idea why any of that stuff was the way it was. I get that some of it is random humor or placeholders, like you the dev being depicted as a dog or a barrel, and that's fine, but the real stuff should have some kind of method to the madness. Otherwise, it's very irritating in the moment and then forgettable later.

Spiders are also not thematically appropriate, and why do they cause a game-over but the ghosts just bundle you up and return you safely to your dojo?

Eric's secondary class should not be "kiddo." It's suggestive in a way you do not want.

The censorship is a bit weird. "footj**," "ash***", etc. It's a porn game; what's the big deal?

There's... a lot of English issues. Too many for me to address. I recommend hiring an editor if the cash rolls in.

Mary's foot in her first scene needs a small touch-up. What should be her pinky toe is her big toe, and she only has four toes. Kind of glaring in a foot fetish game.

Speaking of art, I appreciate you doing custom sprites, but they need a bit of shading to not clash with all of the stock sprites and the tileset.

Ula's area: The tent doesn't seem to do anything. You can pick up the key in the leaves an infinite number of times. Snakes and man-eating plants... well, you know what I'm going to say about these.

You can buy Mary's shoes infinitely, though they only have an effect once. Speaking of doing the same thing over and over, the event tiles in Candice and Ula's maps can be triggered as many times as you want by stepping back into them.

Hard Leather sells for 2,500g, but is bought for only 400g. Infinite money. You can raise your ATK infinitely with Candice's shoes if you buy enough pairs of them (though she always still has more, and the ones you sniff just... disintegrate, I guess.

I didn't beat Elize because it appears to be impossible to do damage to her, even with the Holy Symbol equipped. Everything working as intended?

If you've read this far, you'll have noticed that I complain a lot, but I only played the game as much as I did and wrote up this constructive criticism because I love the genre and related kinks, I'm interested in the game, and I feel like it has potential. Hopefully you gleaned something useful from this post. Carry on, I'll be watching.
lo
 
Last edited:

kachowski labowski

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2018
165
117
I have a few thoughts.

First off, I'm a big fan of games like Tower of Trample (actually all of Bo Wei's games) and Goddess of Trampling, where a major mechanic is getting stomped and coming back stronger to whup ass. So please understand where I'm coming from here when I say that you have to keep in mind pacing is super important, even in these kinds of games where you're expected to lose a lot.

In ToT, you can beat Scarlett after just two or three losses if you know her patterns (a couple more losses if you're starting fresh). In this game, you have to lose to Mary 13 times to be able to buy the better axe and armor, then probably a couple more times for restorative items. Plus you want to be level 5 so you can cast Fire three times in a row. I will grant that the (expensive) axe may be unnecessary because Fire does most of the heavy lifting, but the point is that you really need to consider if the same battle is detailed and interesting enough to be fought 10-15 times. In the case of Mary, I'm going to say it's not, because there is very little flavor and mechanics involved. Eric attacks, Mary attacks, Eric attacks, Mary attacks three times, etc. The only thing breaking up the attack spam is the scene transitions, which are fine, but not engaging enough to warrant seeing a dozen times.

Related, I find Mary's first transition to be annoying because it's slow, changes the music, and occurs at random. Because there's no way to get up or otherwise interact with it, it isn't actually a gameplay mechanic, it's just a bit of scenery change. Ideally, it would have some kind of function as well as giving the player something nice to look at. It could be something as simple as raising her chance of doing the 2x/3x attack when you're on the ground and you have to decide between getting up to mitigate incoming damage or staying down to power through, or something more complex like her getting new skills or applying a status effect when she's in this dominant position. Whatever it is, something meaningful needs to happen. Beyond that, more flavor is a good idea. Varied text for descriptions, in-battle dialogue, cosmetic changes to keep things fresh.

I managed to do enough damage to Mary to very abruptly (because Eric essentially teleports into position) trigger her toe-licking scene, then she kicked me over immediately afterwards, which seems to have moved the scene backwards. It's not strictly a problem, but it seems a bit awkward. It's probably best to give her a dedicated skill that kicks Eric over into a on-the-ground stance, and then she can do all of the follow-up scenes to greater effect if the player doesn't struggle free from said stance. From a game design standpoint, this suggestion is debatable because typically you reward the player for winning, and the reward in porn games is sexy scenes, so it seem counter-intuitive to show the sexy scenes when you play poorly (in this case, that means the player doesn't or can't struggle free), but that's kind of the nature of the beast with masochistic fetishes. In an ideal world, you would do both so everyone's happy.

You only get free healing after losing to Mary (level 1 only) and Elize. If you beat Mary or lose to ghosts or need to recover from grinding spiders, you have to throw a match against Mary in order to carry on. This should be patched up for streamlining purposes, since you already need to lose to Mary so much.

There may be a bit of an oversight with Mary's damage potential. You can gain defense, which mitigates her normal attack, but her double and triple attacks never go down in damage, so I'm guessing they're using magic attack instead of physical. It gets to a point where you only take 10-20 damage from her normal attack while still taking 90 (per hit) from the double and triple attacks.

In Candice's area, the ghosts are not thematically appropriate in a game that's otherwise about getting your ass kicked by sexy women. I also don't understand the design purpose of the traps. You can see them and you can trigger them by standing next to them and interacting, so there's no way to NOT eat them, but then they never respawn. It would be best if they were somewhat hidden (and respawn at random locations each attempt) and the player could either disarm or avoid them. As they are now, you HAVE to take the damage, and only on the first go-through. From a game design standpoint that's not good because it's just punishing the player for no reason, and the fact that they're not there on the follow-up runs simply adds tedium to the run. Any "frustration" (air-quotes because it's all part of the fetish) the player gets should be coming from being dominated by the sexy women, not spike traps and stock ghosts and not having brought enough potions to tank through everything.

Resting at the igloo suggests it heals you, but it doesn't. Also, Candice has six toes on her left foot in the massage scene.

The merchant in Candice's area feels like a bit of a missed opportunity. It's just some generic dude who overcharges you, whereas I would have made something more like the evil merchants in Bo Wei's games. I won't dwell on this one, but it's something to think about.

Please recognize when the player has already done something and shorten or change the text appropriately. I don't want to hear Eric acting shocked at how dangerous the mountain is every single time I want to go there, Candice shouldn't introduce herself to me endlessly, the dojo shop-keep only ever gives advice on Mary. Related, there's a lot of little polish needed for progression: for example, Elize still tells you that you need to beat the others to end your training, and at no point is it mentioned that you have to fight Elize, and the option to fight her just appears after you're done with Ula.

Map design. There are a lot of people who will dismiss your game solely because it was created in RPG Maker. There are an assortment of reasons for this not-uncommon discrimination, but one of the major ones is that RPG Maker maps are very poorly designed, and I have to point out that your game is no exception to this stereotype. They're barren and featureless, other than the windy pathways that promote tedium by being too large (holding W doesn't make for good gameplay) and prolong the uneventful walking. In this style of game, less is more. You want compact, heavily detailed maps that hint at a story, not extended fields with a single linear path through and no real cohesion to speak of. Who put these spike traps here? Who is this merchant and why is he standing in the middle of a frozen wasteland? What's the point of this igloo? Where'd all these ghosts come from? What is this magic circle, and why does it teleport me to the next area? What was that gate at the beginning? I went through the entirety of Candice's area, and I have no idea why any of that stuff was the way it was. I get that some of it is random humor or placeholders, like you the dev being depicted as a dog or a barrel, and that's fine, but the real stuff should have some kind of method to the madness. Otherwise, it's very irritating in the moment and then forgettable later.

Spiders are also not thematically appropriate, and why do they cause a game-over but the ghosts just bundle you up and return you safely to your dojo?

Eric's secondary class should not be "kiddo." It's suggestive in a way you do not want.

The censorship is a bit weird. "footj**," "ash***", etc. It's a porn game; what's the big deal?

There's... a lot of English issues. Too many for me to address. I recommend hiring an editor if the cash rolls in.

Mary's foot in her first scene needs a small touch-up. What should be her pinky toe is her big toe, and she only has four toes. Kind of glaring in a foot fetish game.

Speaking of art, I appreciate you doing custom sprites, but they need a bit of shading to not clash with all of the stock sprites and the tileset.

Ula's area: The tent doesn't seem to do anything. You can pick up the key in the leaves an infinite number of times. Snakes and man-eating plants... well, you know what I'm going to say about these.

You can buy Mary's shoes infinitely, though they only have an effect once. Speaking of doing the same thing over and over, the event tiles in Candice and Ula's maps can be triggered as many times as you want by stepping back into them.

Hard Leather sells for 2,500g, but is bought for only 400g. Infinite money. You can raise your ATK infinitely with Candice's shoes if you buy enough pairs of them (though she always still has more, and the ones you sniff just... disintegrate, I guess.

I didn't beat Elize because it appears to be impossible to do damage to her, even with the Holy Symbol equipped. Everything working as intended?

If you've read this far, you'll have noticed that I complain a lot, but I only played the game as much as I did and wrote up this constructive criticism because I love the genre and related kinks, I'm interested in the game, and I feel like it has potential. Hopefully you gleaned something useful from this post. Carry on, I'll be watching.
Holy shit that is a lot.
 

kachowski labowski

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2018
165
117
@Bronzechair basically covered everything and I mostly agree with all of their points. I feel like this game has PLENTY of potential, and can't wait to see what comes out of this.
 

altr

New Member
Sep 19, 2018
1
0
45
Il gioco è molto carino, complimenti! Soprattutto allenandomi con Mary :) Solo non ho capito come finire il terzo allenamento. Dopo aver trovato la chiave e nascosto sotto le foglie, cosa devo fare per finire l'allenamento e tornare al dojo?
 

LustKing

New Member
Oct 29, 2019
1
0
29
Koblas I just started playing this game on gamcore v0.03 And i love playing new games that are in it's beginning stages like this because I get to see how it grows in to something even better, I can't seem to find your patreon, but I guess as it's now 2019 and there have been no updates since the release, I assume that you have completely ditched this project? I really hope not, It sucks for those who actually grinded playing that game as it was very hard getting Eric to level 20 in this version. I want to see ehat's inside the castle, it's similar to another game I believe you may also have made called Pulp Circle? Anyways I hope you are still active behind the scenes, good day!