Ugh. I've been staring at this thing for too long. It's not finished but after working on it, I can't even tell if it's any good anymore. Anyone mind telling me if it looks like it would be a good submission for the contest and, of course, and grammatical or tense edits I should make?
https://docs.google.com/document/d/11c1hIT1TvZkBnYZPbo_gKEQ9z42FAH92h5eq2qkti4o/edit?usp=sharing
I mean, I like the idea, and I like the character. As an event it's a little bare bones, and I agree with XBoxMaster, it's not very Holiday-Themed. (But I have the exact same problem with the submission I'm working on, so I can't really say much)
Maybe Steele would have to find a certain item in another planet and give it to Vanir before he accepts to have sex? (make it something really common and cheap that nonetheless is special to him because he's never seen it before) It could be a sort of "gift exchange" where you give him the item and he gives you one of his trinkets, gift-wrapped of course.
Maybe Steele can offer to help him hunt for dinner? So maybe there's something like boars on the plains of Uveto you can help him hunt. There doesn't need to be any combat, just add in a few choices like "finish off the boar", "offer to carry it yourself" and so on, simple stuff that doesn't really changes much but gives the player something to do. Then with the boar he can make you a "special holiday dish" from his planet on this "special occasion", and then you add in the sex scenes you already have.
Just a few ideas to make it a tiny bit more holiday-themed.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QDo7kgsepbOG9FL1esuv4mi8jsMRt55M4smxfCxzJAc/edit?usp=sharing
Sort of a mini-expac event for Yoma... Who's not even in game yet but shush.
Honestly considering just waiting and submitting it regularly after the competition, I doubt I'll finish it in four days.
Yeah, it has the same problem as Sparr's, it's just not very holiday-themed...
I think it has some potential, though.
Maybe have it so that you find him at Kally's Bar instead? There's a huge "pre-XXXMass" party going on, very loud and the place is packed, and you notice he's looking pretty uncomfortable. You have the option of chatting him up or enjoying the party by yourself. (this ends the event)
If you chat him up he mentions that he's there because he was feeling homesick, but that all the ruckus is making him uncomfortable instead and he was about to go. You can suggest to celebrate the holidays together in a more intimate environment, and *then* you go to Bunny's Buns and once there Elaria offers you her limited-time "eggless eggpunch" free of charge.
The drink is actually aphrodisiac since it's made with Kally's liquors, you and Yoma talk a bit about Christmas and how you can celebrate it loudly and in public like at Kally's or in a more homely setting, maybe add in a bit about how Steele never quite celebrated it because s/he had no one but Briget and so on, and after some time you're too affected by the aphrodisiacs and suggest for him to "open his present" back on the ship. Then you fuck.
It's not
wildly Holiday-themed, but just a bit more to be noticeable, I believe, and without changing what I think you wanted to do with the event too much.
