[0.9.108-PUBLIC#5356] Train Dungeon

[Theron]

The glowing bolts hem you toward a wall as he closes the intervening distanceYou duck low slide out of the confining pattern before the follow-up strike arrives.

“This is gonna be windy,” you warn her, wrapping your other arm around the rope. “I’m gonna need you to flap those wings real hard to get us across, okay?”

I have wings, too.

Hyrax Alpha, Witchboy, Warbitch, Grenadier & Drugmonger are Lv 8?

 

[lowercase_donkey]

Got the spacing fix myself.

The wing thing would take writes, so I'll pass that and lvl 8 to staff

 

[Theron]

The warbitch winds back her arms and starts taking wild, swaying chops with her sword, cleaving through the air with a decidedly nasty whoosh of air.

She drops a Plasma Halberd, and it's mentioned in her introductory scene.

Soft paww pads ruffle your braided hair and caress your cheeks, rewarding you for a job well-done as another set of large knuckles guides your backside on an equally virile rod.

In context, I honestly can't tell if this is a typo.
Despite 'them running a train', it only counts for 1 vaginal cumshot, and no oral despite:

Stars, the mixed flavors of his cum, your fem-cum, and your stuffed honeypot feel heavenly on your tongue

This sequence repeats over and over again, minutes after minutes.

The way his nubs caress your tunnel draws delighted purrs from your lips

Needs an '.' at the end.

By some grace you land face-first atop the train, stunned by the impact!

Does Stun, but looks like it should knock Prone, too.

 

[LeftwaysCandle]

Rival get head

You let out an appreciate little noise and go from holding...

appreciative

The two of you lock eyes, and you both laugh.

There is dead code here. This word switches between giggle and laugh with an isFemale check for Steele and the rival. isFemale requires not having a penis, but the scene requires a penis. I think this check should be using isFeminine instead.

Rival suck him off

The hand already between his legs can feel his immediately, impassioned reaction

Either change to immediate or remove the comma.

Rival finger her

Her eyes go wide a moment, then rolled closed

roll

and her back arches off the sea.

seat

Little ropes of slime connect them to her pussy before the band of her panties severs them, and you bring your hand up to the light.

“Look at the mess you made,” you giggle, bringing your hand up to the light.

Repetition of bringing your hand up to the light.

 

[LeftwaysCandle]

A whole bunch of bad end stuff.

Spoiler: Hyrax Alpha Loss

The raider’s lovemaking isfast and furious,

Missing space.

You’d like to blame it all on the aphrodisiac, but you know it’s more to that — at an instinctual level, you feel there’s a certain kind of chemistry between you and this cocky boy;

Not sure what the best fix for this would be, but it definitely needs to change. Minimal change would probably be "but you know it's moreso that".

hyraxi alchemist to jack up yourERROR: COULD NOT FIND ATTRIBUTE "highLibido" FOR OBJ "pc" sensitivity

you even start to forget what it’s like not to his spunk in your ass and womb.

Insert "have".

Spoiler: Warbitch Loss

Scene still has Johana even if you already abandoned her, and no mention of going back inside to where she is.

drooling and slobbering in a libidinal rampage.Your

Missing space.

Spoiler: Hyrax Drugmonger Loss

Spoiler: Initial Scene

You twitch, shutter, and convulse at the shocks shooting every nerve in your body

shudder

virile orbs!The rest of your canine members grow alongside the first one, forming into identical, drooling spires.Kahl licks his lips

Missing spaces at beginning of multi-cock lines (both matched and unmatched).
Missing space on next text block.

that’s something we all have to learn all the hard way!

Remove.

The hyena boy shutters before finding his original train of thought

shudders

They watch Johana struggle through her transformation, shuttering and moaning helplessly

shuddering

Her hands bulge and swell oddly, er ring and index fingers merge

her

the two looking at you with a mix or horror and intrigue as your massive cock flexes

of

floor in front of you. as your essence hits the floor,

Capitalize.

Spoiler: "Rescues"

Spoiler: Syri "Rescue"

ERROR: COULD NOT FIND OBJECT "Syri"

Happens three times, using Syri instead of syri.

<b>Several days later, a raven-haired Ausar approaches the camp...</b>

This is bold, but the other rescue attempts start with italics.

Last time I ‘em, they were happy as can be!

Insert "saw".

sending you skyward as you jump what feels like [Syri.isHellhound|about a foot|about two feet] in height

Remove "what feels like" or the "about"s. It's already got one qualifier, it doesn't need two.

Spoiler: Anno "Rescue"

The base is abuzz as loud rock music starts playing from one of the hangers.

hangars

There’s still plenty of builds that aren’t smashed

Probably "buildings".

you howl out in pleasure only for it to be drown out by the sound of milk gushing from your swollen teats!

drowned

sending shockwaves through your entire body that rocks every fiber of your being,

rock

The s-strange ways of you offworlders never ceases to annoy me!

cease

Spoiler: Kiro "Rescue"

, even if [pc.heShe] was a bit too late to stop <i>anything</i> from happening to you,

This line can't appear because it requires Kiro to be a bimbo, but Kiro can only attempt the rescue if she isn't a bimbo.

You fur gets thicker and shaggier while your snout lengthens oddly,

Your

Spoiler: Post-"Rescue"

really matter too much.Men and women alike

Missing space for all combinations.

there are days you look up at the starts

stars

Spoiler: If Anno tried to rescue you

Hureya confirmed that it was a single intruder.She also had

Missing space.

It lasted well into the night, with you eventually falling asleep alongside her, you cock still knotted deep in her vagina.

your

Spoiler: If Kiro tried to rescue you

It takes a few steps forward, snarling and scarring away most of the gathered crowd.

scaring

One word repeated over and over again, “Angel”

Missing period.

launching a thankfully blank rocket at one of the empty hangings.

Probably "hangars"?

Spoiler: Hureya Loss

Your heart sinks. You guess they were able to grab Elystiel before she was able to fly off.

Appears even if you don't know Elystiel. (Losing to first fight and choosing to be given to Hureya)

Those I favor enough to allow up here to rut you, be given a chance to parent the next generation of Maretai

Either add "to" before be or remove "be" entirely.

She suddenly steps forward and with ease sweeps Jill into her paws. she goes with

A few instances in these scenes of a period followed by [rival.heShe] that need to be capitalized.

using you in every way they are is to be used.

Probably replace all this with "can".

she appears to be steaming slightly.The next few months are a rough, tough

Missing space.

an odd sort of power deferential when you’re collared and chained.

differential

backchat into incoherent moaning and panting[pc.hasCock|, cock standing furiously on end|pussy juice dribbling down her thigh]

Checking PC for rival's cock.

or more accurately on the lap of [pc.hasVagina| Hureya|a particularly burly and chesty female hyraxi], who’s hair [rival.heShe] is playing with.

1. Another instance of checking PC for rival's genitals.
2. whose