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Well, it is not really strong itself. And it's not only such card. Attach it to indestructible creature...

It preventing loss, not granting victory.

And the phrase "I choose you" is a Pokemon reference.

It's not 2 stages. It can be up to 10 if you want to beat him only with weapons. Use drugs, use charge weapon and might.

Well, it sorta should be. He is level 22, after all.

Ugh... Platinum Angel, I choose you!

Well, those are intended to be hard :) Airtight armor is great at keeping his jism away.

Inquisitor gear is quite good choice against demons, granting psionic and tease resistance. But not against Minotaur, since he does a lot of drug damage.

Gardener... I've totally forgot to handle airtight armors there. And stone giant is real problem. Immune to anything but kinetic, electric and cold. Actually, vulnerable to cold, but there are exactly one cold weapon in game (Eldritch Staff).

Gratz :) Though, if you are nine-tails with kitsune eyes, you have major allowance here - you are immune to basilisk gaze. Non-canon too, but hey... You always have an options :) Chromebook is basically a linux with proprietary shell, just jailbreak it and do whatever you want.

Any thing I could add would be non-canon anyways. You can save adit as well. UCT+3, 8:40... My own time is not bound to day/night for a long time.

Nope. This was one of the ways to screw up your character in CoC. But such changes are usually have other effects. 40 min lust is likely bro/bimbo/futa perk. It also grants 20 max lust and 25% lust resistance, so you actually will have ≈7% more effective lust tolerance, and giving a way to...

Considering abilities... Word "chosen" is there for a reason - rules say that "Shroud" only protects from "target", and MtG rules are very sensitive to such things. It was intended as sort of ultimate combobreaker card - he can exile any overpowered permanent, he can exile himself to wipe whole...

Yes, icestone piercings. Though those are mod items and are not canon things.

Just for fun:

Genetic signature analyzers. Splices change your appearance, but not genes. This is canonical from Penny/Badger arc.

Why not?

Anemone or starfish... That's... Same sort of things, as for me. Weird, but kinda fun.

Kitsune tails are refusing to transform.

Knotted and with tentacled head. You can get one using amaranthine sock.