Zheng Shi Bar

[quiboune]

I posted this on the Ideas forum the other day, wrote a few parts already.
This is what's done:
https://pastebin.com/raw/hjf1mpAi
(I'm using pastebin because it's easier)
I'm writing quite fast, mistakes might happen (which is why I'm making this thread). For this and to know if this is even a viable project. Some feedback, if you will? Don't hesitate to shoot it down.

Also, I know the syntax can be a bit confusing if you're not used to black and white, but it will be cleaner and better divided in the future.

 

[SoAndSo]

You must use google docs or this will be instantly rejected.

Also, I don't think you read the thoughts I posted on your original thread so:

My two pence:

Spoiler

I don't think this fits with the current setup of the location. Not tonally but simply mechanically. Not only is Zheng Shi unfinished in pretty much every single way (including physical, interactable location) but it's not really designed to fit in 'a generic bar' because of the nature of the main quest: this entire place is essentially a massive labour camp in the ruined chunk of a destroyed planet. Having 'the usual bar' that every other planet has just doesn't gel.

The concepts you've laid out seem like a lot of work for both a first time project and just in general. Not only are you creating your own tile location with a lot of planned interactions, you'll have to write fleshed out missions with multiple NPC's (even generic faceless ones need some standard of content) that are likely to be the same ones who can get you pregnant. You'd also have to write out a pregnancy path and set of interactions because their really isn't a generic human pregnancy tool already.

On top of that, you'll need to set out how the 'busy work' activities are going to function and then write them out convincingly. The talking to NPC's bit: how many are you even planning? Are you aware of pirate gangs and how to write for them?

Various conclusions: short + sexual = no good. Smut game, they need to be quite decent in length to be worth it if you're going sexual.

Respect meter: barring the end result for the main quest, a Respect meter feels like a conflict if the bar has anyone other than the (quantifiable number of) NPC's you've laid out. With the end result of the main quest in mind, it doesn't make sense at all as you've essentially bypassed the point of it (where Steele becomes the biggest badass on the pirate planet and has auto-respect from everyone p much). Plus while they're not too hard to conceptualise for coders, filling 'meters' out with meaningful points and interactions is its own side challenge that you'd have to write.

I think the concepts you've set out are a bit too ambitious. To make it worthwhile, this content would be hitting the 40k word total mark at a minimum if absolutely everything is accounted for and you keep the prose relatively low in tailoring and detail. That's going to take you a long time and even then, this concept has a potential problem with being a 'bubble' outside of the main planet content where nobody in the game references it. That kind of content is less favoured.

I'd say put this idea to bed before you disappoint yourself.

Also from what I've read so far in your 'docs', there's an awful lot of grammar and parser errors.

 

[quiboune]

Also, I don't think you read the thoughts I posted on your original thread

I read it and will take your opinion into consideration.
The only thing that worries me is wether or not this can be done if I write everything. If someone with authority says "No, it won't happen" I'll stop immediately and move on, else I'll just keep on writing.

Most of your critiques are about the quantity of content or how that will be written. Don't worry about that, I (think I) got it. But the ones that stand out are about placing a generic bar in Zheng Shi and about the respect meter.
I intend to make it clear since the beginning that this bar is not common, it could even be considered a dangerous zone if that's possible. It won't be "safe" and I certaily don't expect to see other NPCs there. But I do think it fits. When we think pirates they're either handless or holding a mug of rum, so they should have a place to stop and drink.
The respect will only have any value inside the bar, this will be addressed by one of the dialogues as well. If the perks are an option, I'll write scenes to allow the player to service the pirates around the station in order to avoid a fight - and that will be all the effect that the bar has on the outside. This would make it a bubble, as you said, but it's a small bar in a secret pirate base. No one should know about it anyway, and even those that do know about it won't talk openly, so it is supposed to be a bubble.

Also, could you point the grammar and parser errors? I'll fix them asap.

 

[Crablord]

I hope you read mine too

 

[quiboune]

I hope you read mine too

I did. If making a perk and equipment is a valid option (which has yet to be confirmed or denied by one of the 'owners' of the game) I will do both.