Writing Practice

[Excapist]

Hey all! I'm not sure how to do this. I wanted to write some random things and share it with the community so that I could get some feedback. I would like to eventually submit things to the game, but I think it will be awhile before that happens. Until then, would anyone like to look this over and give me a little feedback. It's super short

My Inner Lush Enjoys Takahiro

The liquor pools in the ridges of your abs and the dip of your belly button. Taka eagerly leans forward and takes his time lapping it up with rough strokes of his tongue. You prop yourself up on your elbows so that you can get a better view, causing the liquor to drip down to your [pc.vagina]. T...

docs.google.com

edit: updated link

 

[TheIrishOtaku]

Looks good to me, I found a couple of typos which I left suggestions for but other than that its well written on the whole!

 

[Excapist]

Looks good to me, I found a couple of typos which I left suggestions for but other than that its well written on the whole!

Thank you! <3

 

[TheIrishOtaku]

Thank you! <3

No problem, best of luck with the writing!

 

[Karakara]

Ey now! I take offense to you making my trash kitsune seem like a competent lover.

Good stuff, good stuff. Honestly, why not try writing this into the game?

 

[Jstar]

I left some comments and corrections in the hopes that it helps you going forward.

 

[Excapist]

Ey now! I take offense to you making my trash kitsune seem like a competent lover.

Good stuff, good stuff. Honestly, why not try writing this into the game?

Thank you! Everything is awesome when you're drunk!

Another one of my ideas: A few days after this that event, a sober Dark Knight Champ would come back to take advantage of him while he was drunk. They would go through the motions but Champ will leave disappointed since it'll be nothing like the first time. But I don't want to do my boy like that lol. I have a soft spot for him.

But anyway, I can try to see what I can do. I would love to submit it eventually!

I left some comments and corrections in the hopes that it helps you going forward.

Thanks a bunch I appreciate you taking the time! <3

 

[Karakara]

Another one of my ideas: A few days after this that event, a sober Dark Knight Champ would come back to take advantage of him while he was drunk. They would go through the motions but Champ will leave disappointed since it'll be nothing like the first time. But I don't want to do my boy like that lol. I have a soft spot for him.

Heh, I already wrote a scene where DK champ or champ with 75+ corruption is able to take advantage of the drunken twink. It was fun to write.