[Wip] Pherotic

[Meteor07]

Pherotic

Basically a pheromone tf as the name implies, it will also give racial pheromones too, but i frankly have zero idea which races get pheromones again, so that's one thing i will be looking into.

if anyone has a problem with the way i write specific scenes or other stuff in the doc, please do tell me about to help me improve.

i will say it right now, the scenes themselves aren't that long, so don't expect this scene that takes up half a page.

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Bit of an update, i made it so that the pheromones obtained now smell cinnamon-ish instead of fruity.

 

[Raindrops]

I'm really liking the idea (I've been thinking of writing a similar item myself, but never got around to doing so)

I'm noticing that the pheromones seem to be... fruity though. Why not musky, like the other pheromone scents?

 

[SoAndSo]

You should turn on Suggestion Mode or we can't really help with any sort of ease.

All I'll say is:

Designed by a certain steele tech employe, Pherotic was made to give peolpe pheromones, however ass an odd side effect if the consumer already has pheromones, it boost their pheromonal output.

These are you opening lines for the tooltip and the doc in general. They're not really, um... gonna cut it.

 

[Thebiologist]

Agree with SoSe. Needs some quality work. Try making longer scenes and explanations and make sure to include everything going on. Sensations, feelings, descriptions. You need to make better use of adjectives and innuendos. Don't take our posts as a sing that you should give up. This is criticism to help you improve

 

[null_blank]

Is there any mechanical reason to bump up pheromone levels to a theoretical 150? Tease attacks are capped at 30 after all.

...and the weakest levels of this tf completely outclass all other pheromone perks combined to the point that there is almost no reason to get them if this tf exists. At sweat level 6 with every pheromone perk except pheromone cloud and the allure accessory my Steele has a pheromone level of 18 which isn't even the maximum of 'weak' on your listing for this tf.

 

[Meteor07]

Okaaaaaaaaaay, you should now be able to comment, i think the doc bugged out when i set it to share link, please comment away

 

[Meteor07]

@SoAndSo i will take that to heart, thx!

@Thebiologist Already, thanks for saying that, i know that it may not be of the best quality, but i'm more or less just starting out, and i do take your comments as helpful criticism, it help me improve all around.

@null_blank Ok, i know what you're thinking, and i'm kinda happy you asked this question because this is an important detail. It's also why i still wanna jack up the price to maybe around 20-30k, because the reason why i wanna have it so that the pheromone level reaches a potential 150 level is due to this idea i had in mind. As is seen in the doc there are there is an {(x)} in the perk description, which can be replaced by the words ; weak, decent, powerful, extreme and insane. The reason for this is simple, they passively arouse foes in combat, with weak only doing 1 point of lust damage per turn, and insane doing 5. i don't think it needs further explaining over the other words, right? but i am going to do a lot of reworking stuff too, mostly because of the fact that i still need improving on how i actually write, as well as what biologist said, i'm still a beginner and definitely need more practice.

 

[null_blank]

Go look up what pheromone level does to buff tease attacks.

 

[Meteor07]

Go look up what pheromone level does to buff tease attacks.

i just looked it up, and now i know why you told me to. Thank you

now that i've gained an understanding of what you were trying to point out i may just try a different approach to this doc.