[WIP] Io a psionic alien Information Broker on Tavros

[RequiemForAMeme]

Hello fellow scientists I'm Requiem and this is my story...


(WARNING HERM WARNING)


So this is Io, she's a Tassai. I wanted her to be simple, but I wasn't satisfied so i kept adding things until I was. Both Io and the codex on Tassai are works in progress, but have enough written that I feel somewhat confident in posting them for the public's opinion. To be honest my morale is falling and I'm close to just calling them 'good enough' but I know I can do more. So far just one sex scene, a first time and repeat.


I was heavily inspired by the Asari and Protoss among other similar races. 


Io the Tassai on Tavros


https://docs.google.com/document/d/10ovIuWXDkLLg0wqHaljzzoCWKO1j4oDVhI-K4qBr3ds/edit?usp=sharing


Codex here.


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jaXdXG43kx1JZCTdX2PgLGwwadwF80ntojgpAi87Mvo/edit?usp=sharing


As this is my first attempt at writing smut I'm looking for feedback and criticism. What do you people like about this stuff? Did I go to far or not far enough? Did I break any rules I may have over looked? If something needs to be changed, tell me why and how. If a creator or another person who has submitted content could look it over and tell me what I need to do to make it better I would be very appreciative.


As a small note I have little to no free time right now. So I probably won't be able to comment or reply as fast as I would like. Same with making changes to my docs. Edit: In case any one was curious, I work construction with my father.


Cheers - Requiem

 

[Noob Salad]

(WARNING HERM WARNING)

absolute madman


As a bimbo connoisseur I must inform that your Ditz Speech is pure cringe.

 

[flying_moustache]

[WIP]Io a psionic alien Information broker on Tavros

Oh boy

Psionics


Tassai are born with psionics and are natural mind-readers. Tassai learn quickly from their parent(s) to filter the thoughts they read and filter the thoughts that they release. Tassai can use their psionics to protect themselves with mental barriers, attack enemies with kinetic force, power their tools and equipment, and with enough time and experience a Tassai can make, manipulate or meld matter.


[...]

Ooohhh boy


Adding psionics to a character is a walk on very thin ice. What I'm reading here just sounds way too powerful. You might want to reconsider the psionic part. Maybe go with only some knowledge-based stuff?


All that being said, I like the idea of an information broker.

 

[Ormael]

*Walks in* See psionic been meantioned *Keep staring stupidified*


Ok jokes aside atm when we not had any psionic content added to game by devs themself all npc or stuff that are connected to psionics may be in need of revamp or even rebuild in future. So yes I do like idea for psionic npc but I just little worried if it will survive in that shape till actual implementation god know when (as it would be probably around time psionic content will be starting showing up more common ingame). As if you want to make sure some parts aren't out of canon it would be good if you somehow manage to get opinion of main devs (thou as the same time they may be...slight rough when commenting).


So I hope your resolve to keep this npc will be firm enough despite possible harsh word that will be said by some people.

 

[RequiemForAMeme]

absolute madman


As a bimbo connoisseur I must inform that your Ditz Speech is pure cringe.

I cannot be stopped. Much like a full team of 6 on the payload.


I freely admit I'm not a smart man and that all my writing has room for improvement. Now for the sake of discussion and creating better content on my part. How would you change the current dialogue? Any straight up replacement lines or simple suggestions?

Oh boy


Ooohhh boy


Adding psionics to a character is a walk on very thin ice. What I'm reading here just sounds way too powerful. You might want to reconsider the psionic part. Maybe go with only some knowledge-based stuff?


All that being said, I like the idea of an information broker.

As I was writing I was really trying to emulate parts of the Asari (Mass Effect) and Protoss (Starcraft) that I really liked. Asari are natural biotics which actually lets them create mini singularities with their mind. And the Protoss can do so much shit I basically ripped what they can do from their wiki which is basically space magic. However with that said I kinda agree I may have been to generous with the fanciness that is psionics. Assuming that I end up changing things I would like to keep the mind areas of the psionics; mind reading, telepathy, ancestral memory bank and neural link/addiction.

*Walks in* See psionic been meantioned *Keep staring stupidified*


Ok jokes aside atm when we not had any psionic content added to game by devs themself all npc or stuff that are connected to psionics may be in need of revamp or even rebuild in future. So yes I do like idea for psionic npc but I just little worried if it will survive in that shape till actual implementation god know when (as it would be probably around time psionic content will be starting showing up more common ingame). As if you want to make sure some parts aren't out of canon it would be good if you somehow manage to get opinion of main devs (thou as the same time they may be...slight rough when commenting).


So I hope your resolve to keep this npc will be firm enough despite possible harsh word that will be said by some people.

Because "Psionics" are this sort of taboo thing I was super hesitant on making Io, however I want to clarify that I have no intention (at least not anymore) of giving the PC psionic abilities. That shit's complicated and as a newbie I have no right to even try to suggest such a thing. Also I just really wanted to do the neural link scene, which is inspired by several sources, mostly how Asari mate in Mass Effect.


To answer some of the concerns you've pointed out and to put down some thoughts of my own in no particular order

• I personally really like Io as an information broker. And ignoring the one sex scene I have right now, as a psionic she doesn't really do anything special. Which is ok for right now in my opinion. Because I would like some more time to see how people react, after all the entire reason I made this post was to get opinions.
  
• Canon issues aside, her back story changed like 4 times before I said "fuck it" and moved on. Like one of the original ones was she had this long complicated story where she inadvertently joined the Black Void Pirates and then got hired by the UGC to act as a double agent. It was BAD. What I'm saying is that I'm willing to change things, especially if it pleases the creator gods.
  
• I think that considering how Io, specifically her being a psionic, doesn't actually influence the story much and only affects game play through money as of right now, she would be fine if added in. I will say that I totally want to give her a perk the PC can get related to oral. I.E. something like a mouth version of the Buttslutinator perk.
  
• Lane, Zaalt, the Frostwyrm (Not implemented yet), the alien egg the player can find, ETC have given me some courage towards posting this. They're all really cool and well done and Zaalt in particular shows huge progress towards adding psionics into the game. 
  
• Also the PC will NEVER be able to transform into a Tassai. And assuming I don't change how Tassai fertility is terrible or how they are looking for a planet to colonize for example the PC will NOT have any related quests to helping their race.
  

Cheers - Requiem

 

[Ormael]

Ahh ok. I just well hopefully not been overrude with my last post. So I would now sit and wait to see how would the future writing for her go on in term of what their contain. And yes I think race with some connectiong to Protoss from SC is cool (I do played this series a lil bit).

 

[eveoflife]

Reads minds and is a info broker, 50+ year preggers, possibly addicting, asari... Commitment much? Good googely moogely. So what stops her from just plucking your probe quest right outta your head and selling it to the highest bidder...? Every instinct tells me "don't even touch her!".

 

[RequiemForAMeme]

Hello again forums Requiem here.


Having had nearly two weeks off since I last had a chance to look at my docs, I realize that I don't really like what I ended up with. (Except the sex scene) I've decide to rewrite things until I am satisfied. I do plan on keeping the psionics, info broker, Sub theme, and Io mostly the same. Location, backstory, dialogue, intro and codex will most likely change. However the codex is more of a clean up and clarify thing.

Reads minds and is a info broker, 50+ year preggers, possibly addicting, asari... Commitment much? Good googely moogely. So what stops her from just plucking your probe quest right outta your head and selling it to the highest bidder...? Every instinct tells me "don't even touch her!".

That's a really good question. I'm going to address that when I rewrite. I kind of want her to be a friend/ally character to the PC and I did not do a good job at conveying that. And for the sake of discussion, ideas and improvement would you recommend anything?

 

[eveoflife]

Hello again forums Requiem here.


Having had nearly two weeks off since I last had a chance to look at my docs, I realize that I don't really like what I ended up with. (Except the sex scene) I've decide to rewrite things until I am satisfied. I do plan on keeping the psionics, info broker, Sub theme, and Io mostly the same. Location, backstory, dialogue, intro and codex will most likely change. However the codex is more of a clean up and clarify thing.


That's a really good question. I'm going to address that when I rewrite. I kind of want her to be a friend/ally character to the PC and I did not do a good job at conveying that. And for the sake of discussion, ideas and improvement would you recommend anything?

Hmmm ... Don't wanna ruin what others create. You want her to be a friendly ally domination type? You hit that mark already I'd think but, she kinda bent over the moment the void breathed down her neck. And given info brokers are normally underworld associated in all my encounters. I just don't feel mind reading and underworld info broker mix to spell safety. But then again, I never feel safe around mind readers anyways. Except with Yennefer from the Witcher games.


The only thing I can think of that would preserve who she is and make her a ally is some kind of act on her behalf. Something as simple as a belief like a justicar code. Her own special code to protect her subs ... I'm not sure what to say right this moment either, sorry. I like her but without such, I'm just wary of her. But then comes the question of, what about those that wont submit to her? Maybe that still falls on her having a code, like her people have a belief of what a info broker is, there own special way of being a info broker? Maybe? A alien concept that is similar to a info broker?