[WIP] Halloween submission

[Xaze]

I realize I need to post my submission in the other forum. But I wanted to get a feel for how the masses like my idea first. This is my first time writing if you can't tell from the google doc. So... Here's my thing. It's not done so any and all ideas, critiques, and praises will be looked at and appreciated. Unless their long.
I don't like to read

The name is not set in stone if someone has any suggestions I'd I'd appreciate that.

The story begins when you receive a mysterious email from someone requesting your appearance at their Manor. You cannot tell much from the email except that they know you VERY WELL almost too well. As soon as you travel there your quest begins. It is filled with ghost, fears, fright, and most of all betrayal. So if you like that kinda thing and it sounds cool give it a gander.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dzXq4DcjwF71UAZJvvfVnY7uA2zzfFFp-zHnu9mw4tQ/edit?usp=drivesdk

 

[Lancer]

Someone's doing correctly! You even set up the doc correctly! Hallelujah!

I would suggest adding a line or two of Steele wondering who the heck is sending them this invitation, and then proceeding to not find anything when they scour the extranet. Also, you're spelling the PC's name like "Steel" when it's actually "Steele".

 

[Xaze]

Someone's doing correctly! You even set up the doc correctly! Hallelujah!

I would suggest adding a line or two of Steele wondering who the heck is sending them this invitation, and then proceeding to not find anything when they scour the extranet. Also, you're spelling the PC's name like "Steel" when it's actually "Steele".

Thanks homes . I've done a lot of research trying to make sure it's good so far. I you can, check back in a day or so to see the progression I'd still like more feedback if you're able.

 

[AHornyPanda]

I left some comments about formatting on your doc.

I recommend you edit this thread's title to include the name of your project. Also, have the post briefly describe what the project is about.

Other than that, Good luck!

 

[Xaze]

Hey does anyone know if Dane will appear after Myrellion? I want to add him in the story if he is. But if not... Fuck it less story arcs for me.

 

[TFMaster]

Hey does anyone know if Dane will appear after Myrellion? I want to add him in the story if he is. But if not... Fuck it less story arcs for me.

Yes he gets fired by your cousin after what happens on Myrellion, meaning he is up for grabs by Captain Steele. Note that this is yet to be implemented yet but is planned to with Dane being recruitable by the PC.

 

[csg608893]

I have to say having read what you have written so far I'm very interested to see how it ends.

 

[Xaze]

After having tried to make this post 5times. I'm still working on it.