[WIP] Dianna and Imperial Navy Surplus

[Sky]

So this is a project I've been cooking up since before I started the Wanderlusts, and I've alluded to it in that thread a few times. I don't plan on finishing or submitting this before Wanderlusts, as this project is a fair bit more ambitious, but I've started in on it and figured it would be better to have other eyes on it sooner rather than later. The main reason I've started in on this project is that it will not, at least initially, involve sex scenes. And as I'm learning on my Wanderlust project, I have more difficulty writing decent smut than I expected. This just gives me a nice change of pace for now.


Now then, just what is this nebulous 'project' of the first paragraph? A high-level shop on Tavros station only accessible post Myrellion. Available for purchase will be several weapons, armors, clothes, accessories, and possibly some job-specific goodies if those are allowed. I may also add a TF item and some ships in a future X-pack, but that's obviously dependent on this shop getting in in the first place. The store will be run by Dianna, an NPC of a custom race I've made called Auvans. Essentially, they're anthro owl-kitsunes. Initially Dianna won't be sexable, but I'd definitely want to add that later. She will have some talk options to build on the lore of her race and build her own character.


So, without further ado, here's a link to the shop google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1w70r1OnjnjWfqgHsMcEdG-NLfAm0Zy_2D92uJgLzJdA/edit?usp=sharing


Please note that it is in a very unfinished state. At present, it contains the text for initially encountering and entering the store, Dianna's appearance, and the purchase and demo texts for a few weapons. I realize there's still lots to do, but the document is already 8 pages, so I thought I should check with the community to see if there are any glaring formatting errors before it gets much longer.


[EDIT] Now approximately 26 pages long, I have now added the fifth talk scene and the job-specific items you can purchase.


Also, here is a link to the Auvan Codex, which is finished. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1V0kjbwT4g-RvDsjbvOF3m_g6zvp9twAVCYMxU2BMnF4/edit?usp=sharing I may make a few lore tweaks as needed or desired, though. 

 

[eveoflife]

Uveto doesn't have a probe last I recall, so likely post Myrellion.

 

[Krynh]

Utevo is not a probe planet. It's a side one like New Texas and New Canada

 

[Ormael]

Interesting so far stuff. But mostly this promise of smth-smth-kitsune (sry I really only registed end saying about kitsunes so pls forgive me). Would try keep an ey on this thread progress.

 

[Reaper113]

Will we be able to spar with Dianna and be trained by her since she is quite skilled with those weapons despite her appearance description

 

[Thayr]

Power Armor? Power Armor?

OK, so before, I was interested in the bloody shop owner, now I am interested in the shop. Nice stuff, I am impressed by the scope of it all.

Permit me to observe, that said, that a special scene seems...well, would seem to be a must for the player buying the "S. Kimono". I mean, considering it is a burden to her and all.

 

[Zavos]

This looks pretty good.  My one concern is the stuff is meant to be pretty powerful, it should probably become available after whatever planet follows myrellion.  That should about be the point where military grade tech becomes the mainstay of the PC's arsenal.  

 

[TheDevilYouKnow]

This looks pretty good.  My one concern is the stuff is meant to be pretty powerful, it should probably become available after whatever planet follows myrellion.  That should about be the point where military grade tech becomes the mainstay of the PC's arsenal.  

The first hall encounter portion of the doc mentions the Myrellion probe as a requirement.

 

[Sky]

Will we be able to spar with Dianna

I haven't committed fully to that yet, but it is something I've been considering at length.

Permit me to observe, that said, that a special scene seems...well, would seem to be a must for the player buying the "S. Kimono". I mean, considering it is a burden to her and all.

Yeah, what I've got written for buying most items right now is copy/paste placeholders. Items like the S. Kimono and DP Armor should be getting more custom purchase scenes in the future.

 

[Ormael]

Well given recent Fen plans about lvl, equip prog and etc. it not suprise some weakest versions of power armors for PC can start appearing around lvl 8 which is expected lvl for PC finishing Myrellion main quest part. If all went well Diana may be one of first to selling PA to PC ^^

 

[Thayr]

Whooooo

This makes me very happy.

 

[Xeivous]

I feel like some of the descriptions are edging too far away from technobabble hand waves with how specific some of the tech works that it breaks my suspension of disbelief. 


Like to be specific, using liquid nitrogen in a melee weapon just sounds dumb as fuck. Making some random bullshit up would be a better solution. Same goes for using magnetics for the first drone as I don't think that principle is state to be what is behind drones flying around in game and it's kinda weird sounding as well.


On a different note, the PC noticing the shells from the merc gun being flattened that specifically thinly also rubs me the wrong way.

 

[Sky]

@Xevious: Well, I personally prefer some semblance of faux science to just a pure technobabble hand-waving, but I do realize and acknowledge that for others it can have the opposite effect. Perhaps I can tone down the fake science a bit. As for the last bit, that was meant more as the player talking up the dramatic effects of the weapon than an actual observation, but again, I get where you're coming from, and that might end up being edited in the future.


That said, I thank you for your input, and would invite more in the future. For instance, putting aside the issues of technology and so forth for a moment, I would greatly appreciate any opinions about Dianna herself. I want to know if she feels engaging or interesting to people so far.

 

[Xeivous]

No need to be so formal. Also I've got no strong feelings about her character thus far as there is quite a bit here to digest and read over a couple times. I did add one comment in the introduction sequence though. Mostly because I have a minor obsession with height checks.

 

[Gutts]

Thanks for writing this it sounds really cool, I hope it makes it in the game. 

 

[Zavos]

After a rereading, i withdraw my earlier comments about it being too powerful for the current phase. Outdated military tech is actually a pretty good fit for where we are right now. I also really like the class specials, i feel like they really represent their classes well.