[WIP] Daisy: A curvy treated Futa.

[CuteFutaGirl]

Hi! A long time ago I started writing my first character. I am much closer to finishing her then I was when I last posted her draft (2 years ago, don't have a lot of time on my hands really).

There is a lot of fixes I need to make, I know. I Also have a bit of dyslexia so there is more then a few words that I just get wrong. I have done lots of proof reading to try and fix as much as possible.
I'm a little stuck with some things and I just want some feed back. Any Ideas on how to make her talk scenes and sex scenes more alluring is very much appreciated. Also if some of stuff I have written in her outline does not come across strong enough, (for example: maybe the character isn't Bimbo-y enough etc), tell me about it or how I can build on it.

Edit: there is also some stuff that's plain none consistent, ill fix that eventually

here is a link to the Google doc:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Di7oKPdfO3telrHtlfiSwDeAmpXxDpxIGoVNrBOaAkQ/edit?usp=sharing

Tell me if it does not work.

 

[moobere]

Not very goos at reviewing things but its fappable to me, id say to join the discord and post it there so its easier for people to see.

 

[CuteFutaGirl]

Since starting this thread I have done a lot of work. below is a list of changes made.
Still lots to do, but I believe I'm on the home stretch. Still happy to get feed back.

• Created an alternate encounter scene for characters with Ditz speech (currently struggling with the first paragraph though, what I'm working on atm).
  //will be making a first encounter scene for male characters.
  //have some small edits to make on normal encounter scenes.
• Started creating alternate versions of scenes for different PC traits.
• re-wrote entire scenes so they're way better. Example: her cunnilingus scene.
• Deleted scenes that where just messy wile also being far to hard to fix.
• Added lots of small details, far to many to list, to both talk and sex scenes to make them more interesting.

New document link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Di7oKPdfO3telrHtlfiSwDeAmpXxDpxIGoVNrBOaAkQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

[CuteFutaGirl]

some more work:

• Added a larger in depth character overview.
• Added 3 new talk scene drafts (2000 words in total). They start with a [past] section in the talk menu and then lead off into 2 separate smaller sections after that.
• finished the BJ scene.
• removed some headings that I decided where useless and I was never going to write.

I think I'm going to stream line the Vanilla introduction next. Feels like I'm not getting much feedback from those who have seen it because that section throws people off a bit. It's all a bit long winded and janky.