Note: sry I don't have the whole version number this time. I updateed before posting this. I know it was version 58, but I don't know the whole number.
NPC: Sera, first time sex scene
Problem: unnecessary "and".
Her hand unabashedly roams across your petite and butt, squeezing a cheek with an easy grope, pushing you against her just a little bit more firmly.
NPC: Sera cont.
Problem: unnecessary comma.
You try to take it slow, easing your way toward sucking the demon-girl off, but she angles her spaded tail at your behind, giving it an impatient poke to remind you that you're on the clock, here.
NPC: Sera cont.
Problem 1: was the second "and down" intentional? It doesn't feel right. Not sure if it's just me or not.
Problem 2: needs space between "hard" and "double".
tHer foot reaches up, sole pressing into the base of your cock before pushing down and down, pinning your harddouble- crowned dong to the floor, her vicious heel just barely grazing the twinned tip; a terrible, incredibly arousing threat.
Sera cont.
Problem: Continuity - the scene up until now has been with Steel on the floor and now it switches to desk out of nowhere.
"Tsk, slutty little cock," Sera teases, working her instep down to the tip, pressing it nearly flat on the desk, letting your surging cum build up for a long moment before letting go.
Sera cont.
Problem: Grammer - remove the period and "and", replace with a comma. You never want to start a sentence with "and".
Between the brutal ass-fucking you're already getting, you don't have much wiggle room to complain... even if you wanted to. And the thought of that other thick member doubling your pleasure quickly erodes any hope of resistance.
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NPC: Riya
Problem: unnecessary question mark. U can combine these by replacing the first question mark with a comma.
Additionally, the sentence "her real-life shitposting?" Seems like an addition added by the Silly mode setting. If that's the case idk if its easy to just change it. If it's not the H in "her" still needs to be capitalized if it's going to remain a separate sentence.
How does Riya get away with her blatant racism? her real-life shitposting? It doesn't make sense.
NPC: Sera, first time sex scene
Problem: unnecessary "and".
Her hand unabashedly roams across your petite and butt, squeezing a cheek with an easy grope, pushing you against her just a little bit more firmly.
NPC: Sera cont.
Problem: unnecessary comma.
You try to take it slow, easing your way toward sucking the demon-girl off, but she angles her spaded tail at your behind, giving it an impatient poke to remind you that you're on the clock, here.
NPC: Sera cont.
Problem 1: was the second "and down" intentional? It doesn't feel right. Not sure if it's just me or not.
Problem 2: needs space between "hard" and "double".
tHer foot reaches up, sole pressing into the base of your cock before pushing down and down, pinning your harddouble- crowned dong to the floor, her vicious heel just barely grazing the twinned tip; a terrible, incredibly arousing threat.
Sera cont.
Problem: Continuity - the scene up until now has been with Steel on the floor and now it switches to desk out of nowhere.
"Tsk, slutty little cock," Sera teases, working her instep down to the tip, pressing it nearly flat on the desk, letting your surging cum build up for a long moment before letting go.
Sera cont.
Problem: Grammer - remove the period and "and", replace with a comma. You never want to start a sentence with "and".
Between the brutal ass-fucking you're already getting, you don't have much wiggle room to complain... even if you wanted to. And the thought of that other thick member doubling your pleasure quickly erodes any hope of resistance.
---------
NPC: Riya
Problem: unnecessary question mark. U can combine these by replacing the first question mark with a comma.
Additionally, the sentence "her real-life shitposting?" Seems like an addition added by the Silly mode setting. If that's the case idk if its easy to just change it. If it's not the H in "her" still needs to be capitalized if it's going to remain a separate sentence.
How does Riya get away with her blatant racism? her real-life shitposting? It doesn't make sense.
