Typos and Etc 2: Electric Boogaloo!
- Thread starter PanzerGuitar00
- Start date
New character, Mags, Magpie, Heidi Flood if you're no fun... New mechanic on Canadia.
Maybe replace the comma with a colon semicolon or larger hyphen, and the first period with a comma to better allow the paragraph to flow together.
This presents a fresh issue for her, while you’re busy with all-but-bathing in the musky-sweet mixture of male and female hormones dripping into your cleavage and lap. She’s still completely locked there even after finishing.
This presents a fresh issue for her, while you’re busy with all-but-bathing in the musky-sweet mixture of male and female hormones dripping into your cleavage and lap. She’s still completely locked there even after finishing.
Maybe change "the" to "a" and also maybe remove "here".
“Uh... fuck.” She eventually mumbles, gasping for breath. “Thought I wash gonna pass the fuck out just then.” It’s a good thing she didn’t; collapsing with all your weight when you’re knotted in the wall is probably a bad time. “I think I’m gonna be shtuck here awhile h–”
“Uh... fuck.” She eventually mumbles, gasping for breath. “Thought I wash gonna pass the fuck out just then.” It’s a good thing she didn’t; collapsing with all your weight when you’re knotted in the wall is probably a bad time. “I think I’m gonna be shtuck here awhile h–”
Im not sure what a "stop of confusion" is. Maybe they meant "sound of confusion", or something like a grunt or a cough? also, maybe change "suck" to "sucked"
Your anonymous puppy partner’s cut off by the sound of the bathroom door slamming open again, followed by a stop of confusion. “Ah fuck.” Says a fresh, growly voice alive with the typical New Texan drawl. “Tha’s just not fair lil’ lady. How’s a fella supposed t’get his dick suck with you all in the way there?”
Your anonymous puppy partner’s cut off by the sound of the bathroom door slamming open again, followed by a stop of confusion. “Ah fuck.” Says a fresh, growly voice alive with the typical New Texan drawl. “Tha’s just not fair lil’ lady. How’s a fella supposed t’get his dick suck with you all in the way there?”
maybe replace this comma with a semicolon or something. aslo, maybe change "to" to "by", "foot" to "feet", and "(horny)" to "(and horny)"
You should probably leave, it looks like the stall’s going to be occupied for a while. Even if it’s tempting to sit around and listen to a futa get railed to some massive bull, the chances of them getting caught and told off for making a mess are a lot higher.
When you exit it’s finally possible to see the two of them; at least eight foot of horned (horny) bull boy and a not-much-shorter huskar woman with curves you could get lost in. She looks in your direction but the man behind her places a hand over her eyes. “Now, now missy! Y’not supposed t’know what the pretty filly or fella on the other side’s s’posed t’look like!”
When you exit it’s finally possible to see the two of them; at least eight foot of horned (horny) bull boy and a not-much-shorter huskar woman with curves you could get lost in. She looks in your direction but the man behind her places a hand over her eyes. “Now, now missy! Y’not supposed t’know what the pretty filly or fella on the other side’s s’posed t’look like!”
"That you?!"
I've got the Korgonne language translation going, This should definitely be fixed. Maybe to like, "That was you?!" or something.
I've got the Korgonne language translation going, This should definitely be fixed. Maybe to like, "That was you?!" or something.
Phaedra train, after the grenadier battle. This word should be deleted. Unless it's meant to be "dozens of", but in that case, it's missing pluralization and the "a" is unnecessary.
cheeks, spreading them just enough to drop a wet kiss on your engorged labia. A strong shiver rocks your spine as a dozen of meaty fingers massage, caress, and pet you everywhere, numbing your senses under smooth, fuzzy feels while
cheeks, spreading them just enough to drop a wet kiss on your engorged labia. A strong shiver rocks your spine as a dozen of meaty fingers massage, caress, and pet you everywhere, numbing your senses under smooth, fuzzy feels while