[Twine2 - CYOA] Bully's hell

[Coles]

Bully's hell is a Game that is primarly about these three themes:
- Transformation
- Rape
- Torture

A system of colors is integrated to tag all of the heavy physical violence and other extreme kinks.

This game is exclusively M/M

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Download Bully's Hell v0.3: http://www.mediafire.com/file/to3r78wl5kc7lj5/Bully's_hell_v_0.3.html/file

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU WERE STUCK WITH THE PERSON YOU HATE THE MOST AND HAVE EVERYTHING POSSIBLE AT YOUR DISPOSAL?

EXPLORE SOME OF THESE POSSIBILITIES IN BULLY'S HELL

Contains a lot of fetishes, too many for me to tag them all.

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My first "Game", using Twine 2
I posted each update on my profile (Colesasinus) on Furaffinity, but as it contains a lot of TF, maybe it would be fine to post it here.
This is a "completed" game, and won't have any other content update.
It is pretty messy, and unpolished, which is why I need feedback to make the next one better.

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236 567 Characters
43 080 Words
168 Passages
253 Links
30 Endings with some paths resulting in the same ending.

 

[Lord William]

I really liked the color-coding you did with the links! That's a very user-friendly way of noting the content on each path, and you deserve all the praise for it!

However, I wasn't that into the setting of the game, and it is very short, with many paths featuring only a single choice. I didn't really feel like I was exactly torturing the guy, or even particularly in control of the situation, instead just doing a bit of exploring what each option did. Jacob was only there as a next to featureless punching bag, and I didn't care about him at all. I think I would've enjoyed the game more if there was a reason to hate the character, other than the game stating I should. However, with the "surprise dream that actually does change the world" thing going on with the game, that would be difficult.

It's honestly a decent game, even if shallow, and like I said, the content tagging with the link colors is really nice.

 

[Coles]

I really liked the color-coding you did with the links! That's a very user-friendly way of noting the content on each path, and you deserve all the praise for it!

However, I wasn't that into the setting of the game, and it is very short, with many paths featuring only a single choice. I didn't really feel like I was exactly torturing the guy, or even particularly in control of the situation, instead just doing a bit of exploring what each option did. Jacob was only there as a next to featureless punching bag, and I didn't care about him at all. I think I would've enjoyed the game more if there was a reason to hate the character, other than the game stating I should. However, with the "surprise dream that actually does change the world" thing going on with the game, that would be difficult.

It's honestly a decent game, even if shallow, and like I said, the content tagging with the link colors is really nice.

Thank you for your feedback.

The setting was one of my main problem with Bully's hell. Having him always stuck to his chair was sometimes... restraining, and I had a hard time coming up with solutions. Bully's hell is really kind of a prototype, a way for me to see how game making work, what people want to see, and how I can improve it all. My next project, while it will be grounded on a vague yet specific setting, will have much more fitting stuff for me (and the reader) to play with.

One of the mistake I made while making it was to impose myself a number of endings (30). When I reached 15, to fill the gap, The endings became random, and not fitting, with an ever decreasing quality. I also focused too much on the result and not the path, which made Jacob's reactions pretty weird at times. And in the end, having multiple paths leading to the same ending was... lazy.

Thank you again, I really appreciate it.

 

[Rakesh]

Great game! I was surprised of the many different paths - i think i enjoyed bad father and himboboyfriend most

Some Feedback:

1. If you try to find all possibillities it is tiring to go again and again the path till you have really choises maybe make a link from the different endings back to the point where to chose what to do with Jacob.
2. The exploring of the flat seems pointlesss, you could just discribeit in a text.
3. If you click on the Link which explains text colours or shows you all possible ending there is no link going back

 

[Coles]

Great game! I was surprised of the many different paths - i think i enjoyed bad father and himboboyfriend most

Some Feedback:

1. If you try to find all possibillities it is tiring to go again and again the path till you have really choises maybe make a link from the different endings back to the point where to chose what to do with Jacob.
2. The exploring of the flat seems pointlesss, you could just discribeit in a text.
3. If you click on the Link which explains text colours or shows you all possible ending there is no link going back

2 - Yeah, I had some plan with it, but scrapped it, leaving it as it is.

1 + 3 - You can use Twine2's Undo/Redo arrows on the left of the screen.

Thank you for your feedback.