TiTS and Bobs
- Thread starter Kitbashed
- Start date
Good Morning!
The air is saturated with pleasant chattering and appetizing scents by the time you walk down from your quarters and into the Sidewinder's cramped mess hall."Good morning, Boss!" chirps your favorite snow-haired pup. She's busy working the stove, flipping pancakes while wearing an apron and... no, just an apron.
"Morning, Anno."
A few more members of your crew are also on-shift this morning. Kase, dressed in a 'I <3 New Texas' T-shirt, is being bully-pampered by the other Dorna sister, while Paulette and Ben are busy comparing their respective artificial limbs. Everyone's in good spirits, swapping stories of your latest exploits or sharing a laugh at how the food synthesizer keeps breaking down. It almost makes you recall those precious handful of times from your youth when your parents managed to clear their packed schedules to have breakfast together. Although, you do remember that your dad had a habit of burning the—
The blaring of the fire alarm finishes that train of thought for you.
"ANNO MOVE!" barks your diminutive raskvel engineer, pushing the fluffy scientist aside and readying a fire extinguisher, though she has some difficulty aiming it given her stature. Thankfully, your nine-foot-tall xenobiologist is more than happy to help Shekka out (by simply picking her up).
Your crew laughs and teases Anno while she pouts adorably. You give her a reassuring headpat to soften the blow. After a bit of cleaning up and Paige taking a turn at the grill, you enjoy a hearty breakfast with your... harem? Polycule? Eh... maybe it doesn't need a name.
Soon, you'll probably be following your father's footsteps, too busy with boardroom battles and corporate backstabbing to have these kinds of moments again, at least not with any regularity. But for now, you could just enjoy this wonderful little start to your day.
Syriously!?
(A little skit based on when a discord friend of mine got an email from Syri while in the middle of her quest)As you and your partner-in-crime stalk through the empty halls of the facility, weapons at the ready, you feel a slight vibration from your codex. You check it.
"Hey Syri, did you just email me?" you query the raven-haired ausar.
"Uhhh..." She takes out her holopad and fiddles with it. The corner of its screen is visibly cracked. "Oh, whoops! I scheduled that to be sent a while ago, but I guess I got the month wrong."
"Wait. How did that even get sent? You shouldn't have any sort of connection down here with all the jammers they have up. Unless you're hooked up to their..."
"DISCONNECTING FROM AKKADI_GUEST_1," Syri's device announces happily.
"SYRIOUSLY!?"
"Sorry!" she replies. "Listen, it's fine! We just need to hurry up and move before they trace our—"
"FREEZE! Hands in the air!" an armored, robotic voice bellows at you from behind. You feel a gun barrel jam into your spine.
"Fuck," you both sigh.
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Road Work Ahead?
(Someone in the discord joked that Paige is the type of person who'd do the "Road Work Ahead?" vine. Idk how it turned into this.)Paige gazes out of the Sidewinder's viewport into the empty maw of Kalas's warp gate. As soon as she uploads the flight plan to the gate controller, the now-ancient megastructure ignites with a flash, tearing open a rift between the stars with terrifying ease. If the cold vacuum of space could carry sound, the violent thunderclap would likely be enough to tear the ship asunder. Instead, there is nothing but eerie silence.
The canine navigator had seen this sight countless times before, albeit mostly from the other side. Pirates love lying in wait near gates, often running dark for days on end in order to ambush passing ships as soon as they emerge. Hell, there might even be one waiting for them on the other side, guns already warmed up and trained on the exit point. She refuses to dwell on the thought.
Just as she's about to spin up the sublight engines, the doors to the helm slide open with a heavy clunk.
"Hey boss!" Anno chirps. "Have you seen my— Oh sorry! I thought you were the captain for a second. My bad!" Just as she turns to leave, Paige notices that the pale fur on the ausar scientist's arms stands on end, as if laced with static electricity.
"Everything alright, Anno? You seem a bit on-edge." Paige gestures to the co-pilot's seat in offering.
"Oh it's nothing," Anno replies, but she sits down anyway. "I just tend to get a bit jittery whenever we do a gate crossing."
"Really? Didn't think you'd be the type to believe in all those old ghost stories. No offense."
"I don't. It's just that whole 'ripping apart the fabric of spacetime before stitching it back together' thing kinda makes me nervous sometimes."
Paige shoots her a bemused look. "Wait, don't you have a PhD in warp science or something?"
"Studying the warp-field theory in a cozy office is a bit different than actually being in the hot seat. Even the tiniest of calibration errors we get shunted into interstellar space, hundreds of lightyears from the nearest gate. If we're really unlucky, we get straight up spaghettified."
"Spaghettified?"
"Yup. Spaghettified."
"Oh." Paige nods along, still not a hundred percent sure if Anno is being serious. "Well, the odds are that we'll be perfectly fine. There hasn't been a major accident in decades."
"I know, I know. I guess I'm just being a bit of a worrywart. I'm sure it'll work." She says the last part almost like a prayer before glancing at the gaping void-in-the-void.
"Uh yeah, I sure hope it does," Paige laughs in an attempt to cut the tension, giving the silly pup a scritch between the ears as she does. If Anno's slight tail-wagging is any indication, that seems to do the trick.