The Syncharion Ascendance RP (Floozer, Khorne)

[Archangel99]

"Oh? That's quite interesting." He murmurs, nodding his head to the harpies before kissing her cheek. "You took a video, right?" He asks with a raised eyebrow as he moves to sit down at the table, next to Riona. Ash immediately hops off her seat and jumps onto his lap, her tail flicking happily now that her favourite human is back.

 

[Floozer]

"Umm, no. But I am sure someone did on the internet. I was out shopping at the time and didn't really think to get my phone out."

 

[Archangel99]

"Ah. I'll try to find it later, then." He murmurs before starting to eat, and feeding Ash while he's at it.

"So anyway... I spread the ritual around on this forum that seemed to be full of desperate, perverted nerds who were into furries, demons and shit. They also have a text based game. You should check it out. Pretty hot." He says while eating.

 

[Floozer]

"Is this on the deep web? Because the last time I fucked with that I had to set my computer on fire."

 

[Archangel99]

"Nah. Some place called oxonef forums. Mostly full of thirsty dudes who can't get their dick wet, and wind up fapping to text based sex." Khorvis says with a chuckle.

 

[Floozer]

"Hmm, sounds interesting enough. I suppose I can give it a shot with some free time later. I admit though... I hope they don't want me to cosplay as their favorite fantasy.... that is always a bit odd."

 

[Archangel99]

"Uhhhh... Crap. They most probably will. Sorry. But I did spread it on other sites as well. Now we just have to wait for some poor bastard to muster the courage to do it." Khorvis says with a grin.

 

[Floozer]

She snickers "and to jerk a horse" her snickering turns into laughter "Oh geeze, I hope they get caught doing it and the farmers go to the news! This just in, crazy man caught jerking horse in dead of night!"

 

[Archangel99]

Khorvis starts laughing so hard he goes red in the face. "That will surely beat a random werewolf raping a hiker! And I can already picture the guy's face!" He clears his throat and begins to imitate a reedy voice. "Please sir! This isn't what it looks like! I need to use this for something else!" Then, he switches to a gruff voice. "What the fuck ya talking about, mate!? Yer jerkin off me fooking 'orse! I'm callin' the police ya nasty wankah!" He says, much to the amusement of the others at the table.

 

[Floozer]

Phorsaal is in tears she is laughing so hard "Yes! That voice! That exact voice is what the farmer will have! Oh sweet flames that is good! Just a sudden influx of teens and young men... or women... sneaking into farms and pastures to jerk off the horses! Wahahahahahaahaha!"

 

[Archangel99]

"Oh wait! And then the reporter!" Khorvis makes his voice sound rather official. "In the latest news today, it seems there has been an increasing number of teens and young adults sneaking onto to farms to... Er... Sexually stimulate horses for their semen. Whether this is part of some new trend, or a running joke, we don't know. Let's go to Doctor Phil, renowned child psychologist, to find out some possible reasons behind this strange trend." He says before collapsing facedown on the table wheezing from laughing too hard.

 

[Floozer]

She is laughing so hard now that it is nothing but wheezes as she clutches her gut. "No! no more! I can't! I''m gonna die!" She wails before falling out of her seat.

 

[Archangel99]

The entire table is in tears at the thought, Syresh halfway down her seat as she slaps her thigh, laughing so hard she's gone a darker shade of purple.

"It seems, Matt, that these kids clearly have repressed sexual feelings, and have resorted to sex with animals to get some sexual release. I blame constant phone use, lack of human contact, and, of course, the spread of bestial porn on the internet." Khorvis says in the voice of an old man.

 

[Floozer]

She is rolling around on the floor now, laughing harder than she ever has in her whole life. "No! No! you got it wrong! they blame video games first! then the internet!"

 

[Archangel99]

"Oh shit you're right!" Khorvis yells, laughing louder than the others thanks to his naturally loud voice. "It's always the games first! Because they leave people feeling so fucking blue balled!"

 

[Floozer]

With one final wheeze she starts getting her breath under control, wiping tears from her eyes and shaking her head "Oh... oh my goodness... I really hope it works out up there."

 

[Archangel99]

"I'll make sure to keep the news channels on for any news of teens jerking off horses." Felicia says with a straight face, which makes Khorvis burst out laughing again.

 

[Floozer]

She snickers and almost looses it again, only holding back by a hair "You can't say that with a straight face dear! It isn't fair!"

 

[Archangel99]

"I can say anything with a straight face. Even if it's teens jerking off horses." Felicia says, smirking at her.
"Okay... Challenge time. Everyone try and create a sentence that Felicia can't say with a straight face!" Khorvis says with a grin.
"Bring it on, kiddos!" She says, grinning right back and slapping the table.

 

[Floozer]

She looks at Felicia "Try saying, I am the biggest slut in all of hell. I want nothing more than to slobber over Phorsaals cock day in and day out while Khorvis screws me with his big doggy dick."

 

[Archangel99]

Felicia blinks at that.
"Ooohhh shit. No way. She's gonna crack, she's gonna crack, she's gonna crack...!" Khorvis murmurs as he looks at Felicia with glee.
"I... First of all, cannot believe am saying this, but..." She takes a deep breath. "I am the biggest slut in hell, and want nothing more than to slobber over Phorsaal's dick all day while Khorvis screws me with his big doggy dick." She says, going tomato red, but still maintaining her straight face.
"Well... Does turning into a tomato count as a loss?" Khorvis asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Technically, it should. She's embarrassed!" Syresh says, looking at Felicia pointedly.

 

[Floozer]

"She said it with a straight face but she resembles more of a tomato than anything else now. So technically she wins because she didn't smile... but we all have a spiritual victory from that one!"

 

[Archangel99]

"Yeah. She won this match, but lost her dignity!" Khorvis says with a snigger as Felicia narrows her eyes at him.
"Shut up dogface!" She shoots back, sticking her tongue out at him.
"Dogface has a point though." Syresh says, shrugging.

 

[Floozer]

"Yes, dog face does have a point. Hmm, I wonder if those words I made you say hold any truth to them."

 

[Archangel99]

"Right now, I'm more concerned about whether dogface is going to stick..." Khorvis mutters, narrowing his eyes at Syresh, who grins back with an innocent shrug.
"Of course it's true. She's already such a slut!" Jolen says, laughing.
"Says the orc who came down looking eight months pregnant. After going four rounds with Phorsaal. Yeaaaah no." Felicia says, rolling her eyes.

 

[Floozer]

"Girls, girls! no need for fighting! It was all just for fun and Jolen wanted children so I gave them to her. Now please, no need for further squabbling ok?"

 

[Archangel99]

"Mmmh. Fine!" Wait. Kids!?" Felicia squeals.

[Jeez. Stupid net...]

 

[Floozer]

"Yes, kids. Jolen wanted kids and I happily obliged her. If she isn't pregnant right now... then I don't know what will knock her up."

 

[Archangel99]

"Judging by the belly, there's no way she ain't pregnant." Khorvis mutters, Staring at her belly, and everyone soon follows suit.

 

[Floozer]

"that is certainly the hope, yes." She says with a nod "A fine meal to end a wonderful day, thank you once again dear."