The Elysians

[Redfox26011]

My first attempt at making a race, I tried pretty hard though I admit it's not perfect. If you have suggestions feel free to give them, just try not to tear me a new one lol.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MCqmydV6zdxZU2tK7qPmsHVNeUK3GJoS4R8MBjHRSQA/edit

 

[Darkpheonix]

Are you planning on making a character as well? The doc was decent but you have a tendency to repeat a phrase in a given sentence.

 

[Redfox26011]

I plan to actualy, I was waiting to see if anything comes from the original doc

 

[XBoxMaster131]

A good concept, except it seems to be very similar to the Saurmorians, especially the whole "female dominated society" thing. And that may not necessarily be a good thing.

 

[Redfox26011]

To be totally honest, I didn't actually read the Saurmorians description before I made this. So If it has any similarities it's probably because of that. Though I can make changes to them if needed, or even have them just say that the Elysians are close cousins to the Saurmorians

 

[zero point sixty]

A good concept, except it seems to be very similar to the Saurmorians, especially the whole "female dominated society" thing. And that may not necessarily be a good thing.

There are some similarities as described now, but I think with a bit of work they could be delineated. Non-bird dinosaurs are different enough from lizards, at least. In physical terms they only seem close to Saurmorian females, but fully and non-metallically scaled, and with fur and spines and so on. Tangentially, if they're meant to be like dinosaurs shouldn't they have proto-feathers rather than fur?

Anyway, in terms of society, the way he's described it it sounds matriarchal in the sense of clans being led by a female but not actually female dominated in a broader sense below that level (kinda like elephants I guess?). Parenthetically, the concept of a clan or tribe based society existing in a technologically advanced time is interesting to me. Combined with their strict conceptions of honour and chosen weaponry makes me think of feudal Japan, which would be fairly novel. I wouldn't advise using Japanese cultural signifiers though, we kinda already have that with the kui-tan.

---

Now, addressing the writer, on to the doc itself. One issue that did strike me - you say they have long since left Mhen'ga because of increasing population. This doesn't seem plausible. First, has it even been that long since contact was made? I couldn't find a specific timeline for the present rush but it doesn't feel like it based on what you see there. Second, if they were a relatively primitive society, who did they convince to take them all off world and how? Third, I find it hard to believe even a very nomadic society would simply up and leave their home world because of overpopulation.

If you want to keep that part of the backstory I'd suggest making up a new planet for them to have come from, perhaps one found in the previous planet rush, and give them a compelling reason for leaving it. Maybe rushers and corps overexploited it and rendered it uninhabitable, so they had to go from being planetary to galactic nomads, something like that.

 

[Redfox26011]

*Whistles* Thank you, I didn't even really think about the idea of a different homeworld honestly. And the primary reason I said the overpopulation was causing it was because when you talk to Flahn on several occasiona she mentions hat many exlorers and ther people come the Mhen'ga. So I kinda based it on that concept, but I could always look into a different homeworld, maybe even say that the reason that Mhen'ga was believed to be their homeworld could be that was where first contact was made. As for the feather thing, that's part of an inside joke from an old friend of mine. I drew the picture for the dinosaur you saw. Originally he was supposed to be an oc but I didn't read about the race and just assumed the Yutyrannus had fur and not feathers, so I just kept that idea as a personal joke

 

[XBoxMaster131]

I drew the picture for the dinosaur you saw.

Wait, seriously?! Wow, that's some good shit, man! You got anything else?

 

[Redfox26011]

Oh, yeah I have a few drawings. I myself never thought I was all that good

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

There are some similarities as described now, but I think with a bit of work they could be delineated. Non-bird dinosaurs are different enough from lizards, at least. In physical terms they only seem close to Saurmorian females, but fully and non-metallically scaled, and with fur and spines and so on. Tangentially, if they're meant to be like dinosaurs shouldn't they have proto-feathers rather than fur?

I'd just like to point something out about the feather thing with dino's, not all of them had proto-feathers, so it is incorrect to assume most dinos had them. Specifically and I'm going to be using a misconception of an example here. Tyrannosaurus, there is no proof it ever had feathers, yes the Yutyrannis had feathers but that is an entirely different species of Tyranno. It is not widely accepted that the T-rex had feathers and it's rather at this point hyperbole and theory, so I would think at this point it would be inaccurate to assume most dinos had feathers.

Just to note if you haven't already guessed it, yes I am a bit of a dino buff and following this type of shit, including the theories that sometimes don't make freaking sense. Proto-feathers would only make sense on dinosuars if they were in a environment where they would need that particular adaptation. In the case of the Yuterranis and where the fossil was found it was shown to have needed those adaptions due to the climate it was in. In the area it was found there is geological proof the climate at the time it existed was known to be colder.

Ending nerdy rant here...

 

[Redfox26011]

Well, I'm glad to see there's another dino lover on here. And one who knows more than me which is even cooler

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

Well, I'm glad to see there's another dino lover on here. And one who knows more than me which is even cooler

It's one of those habits though having ADD and Asperger's it's sometimes easy to absorb information on stuff you have extreme interest in. Some information just sticks with you, the only problem is that hyper focus you have which tends to make one have tunnel vision and easily be driven to distraction to focus on that one thing.

 

[zero point sixty]

Just to note if you haven't already guessed it, yes I am a bit of a dino buff and following this type of shit, including the theories that sometimes don't make freaking sense. Proto-feathers would only make sense on dinosuars if they were in a environment where they would need that particular adaptation. In the case of the Yuterranis and where the fossil was found it was shown to have needed those adaptions due to the climate it was in. In the area it was found there is geological proof the climate at the time it existed was known to be colder.

Believe it or not, me too. My recollection, though, is that although recent research showed that at least some parts of T. rex were probably scaled only, the evidence from closely related species makes most workers think its still likely they had some feather-like things on parts of their body. Maybe more has come out that I missed, though, I'm sure you know how quickly this stuff can move.

Incidentally, I was actually going to write "fur-like integument or proto-feathers" but changed it since I thought we were basically only talking about Yutyrannis. Cause I think people sometimes misunderstand, that we're not talking about something like a bird's flight feathers, we're talking about little filamentous structures that honestly I think would have looked more fluffy or fuzzy than feathery. So in a way the author was kinda fine saying fur.

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

Believe it or not, me too. My recollection, though, is that although recent research showed that at least some parts of T. rex were probably scaled only, the evidence from closely related species makes most workers think its still likely they had some feather-like things on parts of their body. Maybe more has come out that I missed, though, I'm sure you know how quickly this stuff can move.

Incidentally, I was actually going to write "fur-like integument or proto-feathers" but changed it since I thought we were basically only talking about Yutyrannis. Cause I think people sometimes misunderstand, that we're not talking about something like a bird's flight feathers, we're talking about little filamentous structures that honestly I think would have looked more fluffy or fuzzy than feathery. So in a way the author was kinda fine saying fur.

Yeah that's a good point about the feather thing.

 

[Redfox26011]

Well, I appreciate both sides of this and in a way you're both right actually. Though like I said the fur thing was really only part of an inside joke and less of a scientific thing lol. But you've both made very good points. As for the Japanese society thing though, when I first pictured the race I originally just thought that a nimble and flexible, yet powerful race like the Elysians would probably use a weapon that somewhat resembled this. Cuz when I was creating them I was thinking about them using daggers and such and just couldn't really picture it. So my second idea was a sword, but regular swords don't really fit the style I was going for and thus my mind came to the Katana. With their honor bound code and fight till you drop personality I just saw the Katana as their best choice. Maybe I could come around and say that they originated on the same moon/planet as the Kui-tan if that would help at all?

 

[zero point sixty]

I don't think that's necessary, I was only pointing out that if you were inspired by feudal Japan, you maybe shouldn't use Japanese cultural signifiers, specifically things like names and design motifs to avoid clashing with the Kui-tan in that respect, it doesn't mean you can't have aspects of your race's culture be inspired by or just similar to historical Japanese society. It's not as if the 'nukis have an honourable warrior society, after all.

Also I'm pretty sure part of the Kui-tan's backstory kinda requires them to be the only intelligent species on their planet (since it involves them making first contact with an off-planet species).

It was a little presumptuous of me anyway, since you hadn't actually done any of that in the doc itself, and I was only speculating on your inspiration.

 

[Redfox26011]

Ah

 

[Aullama]

A good concept, except it seems to be very similar to the Saurmorians, especially the whole "female dominated society" thing. And that may not necessarily be a good thing.

To be fair - though I haven't read the doc - saurmorian society is in turn very similar to gold myr society.

 

[Redfox26011]

Well, I'm not really expecting too much, but I do hope to see the Elysians make it into the game

 

[Zavos]

Some thoughts

• Zavos' autistic moment of the day, 5/16/2018: There is a designated place for new race documents to be placed. A thread in the ideas subforum would not be premature as you do intend to write some of these dinos, but Event Submissions is definetly premature. No offense intended, it just irks me when insubstantive threads pop up in Events Submissions.
• Love the species idea, 10/10. The only thing better than lizards/dinos is floofy lizards/dinos.
• The art is AMAZING. I would greatly appriciate if you would share any other examples of your work.

 

[Redfox26011]

Oh I was recommended here to post it to be honest. Kinda a my bad on that one, sorry. I can repost it there if that would be better? Also thank you so much, I'd love to post some work sometime when I can

 

[TheDevilYouKnow]

I wouldn't worry about it for now. Since you plan on writing for your new race, you can always just update the OP and title when you have something substantial written down. You'll be submitting the codex and NPC/scene(s) together, so there isn't any reason to separate them. The codex subforum is really just to house all the races that nobody is ever going to write for because even the creator won't.

 

[Damiekinz]

My first attempt at making a race, I tried pretty hard though I admit it's not perfect. If you have suggestions feel free to give them, just try not to tear me a new one lol.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MCqmydV6zdxZU2tK7qPmsHVNeUK3GJoS4R8MBjHRSQA/edit

You're supposed to put new races in the race codex thread