Bosh the raskvel was worried. His friend asked him, “What’s wrong, Bosh?”
“Oh, it’s my new girlfriend. I really like her but... she’s a lapinara. Every time she comes over she wants to put her eggs in my butt, and I’m terrified of trying it.”
His friend leaned in. “I know a spell that will give you courage. I used it before my last job interview. Would you like me to teach it to you?”
Bosh agreed eagerly, and so his friend wrote down the spell. After a glance, Bosh set about collecting ingredients.
First he had to find a piece of parchment older than the gabilani who owned it. Then the spell required him to write “I will not fear” one hundred times, in Old Raskvel, with ink made from the oilsap of scythe trees. It cost Bosh half a month’s wages to get the paper and ink and another week’s to buy the translation to Old Raskvel runes. Next, the scrawled-on parchment had to be put in a big jug of strong liquor and soaked for two weeks. Bosh did it, though buying so much liquor used up the rest of his month’s wages. Finally, the spell required enzyme scraped from the tail of a male sydian to be added when the soaking finished. Bosh was beaten pretty badly getting the enzyme, but luckily he had the two weeks to recover. On the appointed night, he was loading a medicine dropper with enzyme when he heard a knock at his door.
“Bosh, it’s been two weeks. You said we could have sex after two weeks, and I’m really, really horny! Let me in!”
Bosh swallowed his panic. “Just a minute, I’m getting ready!” He took out his friend’s instructions and re-read them to make sure he could perform the courage spell correctly. First, he added exactly seven drops of enzyme to the liquor jug. Then he swirled the jug clockwise three times and anti-clockwise four times. Next he fished out the parchment, tore it into seven pieces, and dropped them back into the jug, just as instructed. Finally, to finish the spell, he chugged the entire jug. Then he opened the door.
