Noted. Anything else? Really trying to figure out how to make better use of the parser.
I know I'm probably half a year late, and the doc is already submitted, but I'd like to say my piece anyway.
Like a lot of the ideas but my main criticism comes with the usage of the subby collar in the corruption scene.
The Collar of Submission's magical abilities do not seem to indicate any effect on June.
I understand that June is already kind of a sissy femboy upon first meeting him, but his appearance still has some things that could be affected by the collar upon being used on him, and as he takes more cum in him as the scene progresses, the text could note that the little masculinity that June did have prior to his donning of the collar is draining away, with his figure filling out and curving up more, growing some 'boi tits', and potentially losing some inches off his already not so substantial canine tool, and it would definitely solidify his role as the Player's bitch. Unless you plan to add these effects later in the event I'd recommend the collar in question be changed to some sort of non-magical variant.
While I would wish for a possibly 'pure' or at least non-corrupt route for using the Subby Collar on June in a more wholesome and less overtly controlling and 'evil' way, I'm not in charge with what you plan to do with this in the future, so I'll just leave it at this.