Pavo expac.

[Reathe]

I wanted to try my hand at writing something bc why not. Right now, it's almost done, having 3374 words at this time, only one sex scene has been made so far. but here's my attempt at writing. this is still a WIP btw

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-NHKE8kECL97xB7Hj7Rq3x1j2S9mFX5zvaPX4W6BOmA/edit?usp=sharing

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[Reathe]

Update: I finished.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-NHKE8kECL97xB7Hj7Rq3x1j2S9mFX5zvaPX4W6BOmA/edit?usp=sharing

idk if it needs to be a new link, but shared it again just in case.

 

[Upcast Drake]

I left 10 comments in the first 2 paragraphs. As it stands, I think this is going to need a lot more editing to make it into the game.

 

[Reathe]

I updated and reviewed all the comments put on, while also adding and deleting some things that either didn't make sense or didn't serve any purpose. I think i am ready to resubmit. Of course, I do think it can be better, but i wanna get feedback as well.

 

[DaisukeKaiser]

Not bad, not bad at all I'm not much of a writer myself but this looks really good from a reader's pov. As for coding and parser's I know only the basic's so I can't say for certain if there's any errors but all in all I really like what you've written so far and I look forward to seeing what else you do with this or if you write anything else

 

[Reathe]

i do have an idea as for what i would wanna do, like the option to buy him from the camp and either free him or keep him yourself. freeing him would lead to him either staying in hawkethorne working with ogrish, or him going back to his tribe, depending on his affection level.

 

[DaisukeKaiser]

Really now? That sounds like a pretty nice way to go about it welp I'll be watching this project closely from now on so keep up the awesome work.

 

[Reathe]

ALL RIGHT, I've finished the writing, all i need now is editing cough someone help me cough and hopefully he should be good to go.

 

[Reathe]

Ok. I think this is now ready to submit. I've reviewed it, caught some mistakes or continuity errors or just changed sentences entirely to sound better. I think this is ready to be submitted.

 

[Reathe]

Im gonna be dropping this expansion. Mostly bc i don't have time to focus on it more that college has been getting more stressful and intrusive. I don't see myself getting anything worthwhile done, not to mention my writing is based on how i talk. Which is really robotic, making editing incredibly difficult, because when something sounds right to me and my robotic tone, it comes out wrong and doesn't really fit with the game's style of story telling. I apologize to anyone who was excited about this.

 

[Tenalc13]

Im gonna be dropping this expansion. Mostly bc i don't have time to focus on it more that college has been getting more stressful and intrusive. I don't see myself getting anything worthwhile done, not to mention my writing is based on how i talk. Which is really robotic, making editing incredibly difficult, because when something sounds right to me and my robotic tone, it comes out wrong and doesn't really fit with the game's style of story telling. I apologize to anyone who was excited about this.

Spoiler

If seriously, I like what you did. It's a pity that you decided to give up sharing for Pavo. But study is more important so good luck.

 

[coldmonkey]

Too bad, I quite like what you've written for Pavo. You're right though, studies should definitely come before porn.