Luma asked me to share my thoughts. This is not my forum hub. My thoughts are only my own, and normally I am not here to debate in someone else's story. Also it isn't my place to have her submitted or not. I wrote some scenes to help flesh her out at Luma's request so they could focus on writing her dating and romance and other sex scenes (and write he did).
Luma shared their conversations and talks with the reviewer, I just want to say that I did not read the reviewer's comments as a total rejection. They were couched in a way that just sounded like needing revisions and adjustments (but I am not the one in charge of Acacia, I wrote her intro 'dungeon, get-to-know-her' quest with Champ and two sex scenes for her, and did spellchecking and editing. And Acacia's lustRange parser stuff... I am kind of proud of that, sue me). Now, if that wasn't what was intended and he really meant 'Stop writing this character.' then maybe he didn't clarify it very well, because I read the comments as being encouraging. But if it was a flat out denial and 'Move on', rather than a 'Tweak this,' I didn't see it that way. They also seemed very open to talking about it answering questions (and seemed apologetic, since they are the ones that encouraged Luma to write her as a half-frost elf sheep-girl). Luma likes sheep-girls.
It's not my place to argue for or against a dev's reasoning, since I am not in those conversations and I don't know if they even want to be convinced or swayed. I am not in the conversation, just a freelance, hired-gun that helps people with spelling or grammar (minus the hired part in these instances, since I don't generally charge people working for free). So, while I didn't view the reviewer's comments as flat-out rejection, I think it hit Luma a bit harder. I think he just doesn't realize that even writers like B or JStar wait over a year for some of their things (granted, those are often commissions and they are pretty sure their stuff will get accepted), and that he has gotten a scene accepted (Clem), he's ahead of the game. And yes I am aware this sounds like I am talking like he isn't here, but this is stuff I've already told him directly.
Acacia does have lots of sex content, I (for what it's worth) think she has potential, but since her scenes rather hinge on her being half-boreal (with cool skin and frigid, chilling fem-cum and a frosty aura, I think that's the main thing that will get her scrapped, since that would require a lot of scene rewriting. Does that suck or seem discouraging, yes, but that's the nature of writing sometimes and nothing was promised, nor has anyone done anything wrong.
Maybe we'll get all her scenes just for casual, entertainment reading, but I hope he just adjusts the parts that were addressed, since those can be done with discussion and help from people here. Only if her actual physiology and biology were flat-out rejected would it require a total ground up rewrite. Just posting this because I was asked and sometimes the right words aren't always available.
Luma shared their conversations and talks with the reviewer, I just want to say that I did not read the reviewer's comments as a total rejection. They were couched in a way that just sounded like needing revisions and adjustments (but I am not the one in charge of Acacia, I wrote her intro 'dungeon, get-to-know-her' quest with Champ and two sex scenes for her, and did spellchecking and editing. And Acacia's lustRange parser stuff... I am kind of proud of that, sue me). Now, if that wasn't what was intended and he really meant 'Stop writing this character.' then maybe he didn't clarify it very well, because I read the comments as being encouraging. But if it was a flat out denial and 'Move on', rather than a 'Tweak this,' I didn't see it that way. They also seemed very open to talking about it answering questions (and seemed apologetic, since they are the ones that encouraged Luma to write her as a half-frost elf sheep-girl). Luma likes sheep-girls.
The main thing to remember is, since the submitted doc is obviously written for the players, that means that behind-the-scene stuff is not obvious. For instance, if you find a wagon, the Champ and Acacia don't know where it's from, even though her story has a reason for it being there as foreshadowing or a clue that she's being followed, but page count (and the fact that future stuff is malleable) precludes putting all the details into the doc, because it could spoil things for readers that are just helping with spellchecking or grammar or comments. So, Luma did make up a roadmap and outline for her future interactions as a separate doc for the reviewer. They had some comments, which again, I didn't see as a rejection (since those are only the intended direction), rather than a rejection of Acacia (only the future interactions or quest path for her). Does she need a quest path? Probably not, but Luma wanted one, so that was how she was written.
The issues with her seemed to be that she was half-boreal and frost elves are incredibly rare elsewhere. And apparently because a group of people that never sees a polar bear because polar bears don't live near them, they get to believe polar bears are extinct... and thus, their belief means they are extinct... and therefore a polar bear can never appear or travel, or be brought into those lands, because a dozen people in an entire continent might see them. Even though all of that may be true, Acacia's mother was in Belharan lands 50 years prior to game (Acacia is about 35, the virginal spinster), so this was a long time before current, and elves live hundreds of years. So, while I personally don't see why one (or two or even three) lone frost elves getting wanderlust (which is a thing) and traveling would break the lore of the world, I am not in charge (of pretty much anything, even whether a typo is corrected outside of the sex scenes I added).
I can offer reasons, and say that elves still living in the Heartlands is obviously reasonable and forcing frost elves to only travel farther north when they wander seems peculiar, or that Lumia exists and is pretty much the main deity of this section of the world, and her palace is right near the Winter City... and that her Valkyries travel the world fighting evil but also comforting mothers, aiding in hard births, even surrogating children and delivering them, and since frost elves even now make up 80%+ percent (number pulled out of ass, but probably close), frost elves are probably still seen(with at least more regularity than other godsworn), even accounting for their new wings or being 'old' Valkyries. So on that front, I don't really see that as an issue (but again, I am not in charge, nor is this me trying to bully anyone into it. Only that I could see believable ways to work it in).
There were other issues too, like the lust ritual/orgy that led to her conception, and the origin of it. Some of which I agree with, but I didn't see that as a rejection of the character. Or her mother being part of the druidic faction rather than the Lumians. I thought it added character (and was why Acacia couldn't get information or find her when she first arrived), but (at least some) people thought it didn't make sense. Again, this could be because not all information goes into the player-side of the doc.
There was another concern with her introduction, where rather than just clicking TALK and clicking (or not) on various topics, her story opened with a simple tour around Old Forest where she asked Champ to guide her (since it's much safer now) and let her investigate the herbs and fauna (since she's a dyer and interested in plants and herbs). The opening (which is like a mini-dungeon with potential combat) has no Bad Ends (you can lose a fight, but not Game Over, it just has branching paths and alternate story). One issue raised was, Why would Champ offer to help a stranger they just met and go alone with her? A fair question. I would say:
1. The entire premise of CoC 2 kind of hinges on the Champion at least having that characteristic, and that unlike that instance, which was clearly dangerous and involving kidnappers and a cult and combat, this was a simple tour around an area the Champ will have been through multiple times (yes, with some risk, which is why a guide was needed, but not definite threats).
2. As a vehicle to share her story in an organic way that wasn't 'click Talk, choose 1, choose 2, unlock 3, choose 3, click Sex, Have Sex'. (Luma wanted her to be more romance and relationship than 'Hi!, click [Sex?]' and, while I think it's a bit too much work (an opinion I shared), with the requirement of Shearing, then a Date, then becoming her mate/boyfriend/girlfriend, and then opening it. That's just my own opinion (even if it's right 100% of the time). I was hoping others would share their thoughts on it and a good middle ground based on feedback could occur (even in the unlikely case people loved all the hoops). It's not my place to change them, just share my thoughts and then make those hoops as sparkly and error free as possible, not set them ablaze.
3. Because with companions, there are reasonable expectations or places where one or more might have a comment. Naturally we can do what some writers do and just ignore that and pretend they're invisible until combat, but I cannot in good faith just ignore Ryn commenting on an elven sigil or Arona commenting on the appearance of slausaid. I think I covered it pretty well with the companion comments as the party is dismissed, to show it was a consideration.
4. Because it's an intro 'tutorial-like' dungeon with a pack of Wolves and (potentially) some Effigies. It's not meant to require a group, and if you do lose, it's just alternate story. This isn't a case of it being a trick, where some bad guy is trying to get Champ alone, and halfway through they're like, "Haha! You fell into my trap! You're so stupid! Why would you come out here alone with me!" and it's like, "My Champ wouldn't do that." It is what it's presented as, and in that context, the player knows it and did choose to do it (and there's a bolded alert to that fact, and a tooltip that says you're dismissing your party).
Someone might say it seems like a lot of work just to have an NPC with three sex scenes, and that's fair. But between us, she has about 6 or 7 sex scenes. There's a page count limit to a submission and Gardeford very generously gave Luma 100 pages with a dungeon (not the intro tour, that dungeon was her quest finale where you find her mother and face the sect of Belharan nobles tracking her and their (evil source of power MacGuffin entity) to flesh her and her story out to see if she had merit. So for space reasons, only the introduction scene and Talking (which I admit is a lot), and three sex scenes were included. I am going to ask Luma to put the Sex scenes in their own doc and post them here, but I think he's planning to cannibalize some of them for something else. I can certainly share the stuff I worked on, but this isn't my forum hub (and I cannot submit Acacia myself), Luma can post those scenes.
The issues with her seemed to be that she was half-boreal and frost elves are incredibly rare elsewhere. And apparently because a group of people that never sees a polar bear because polar bears don't live near them, they get to believe polar bears are extinct... and thus, their belief means they are extinct... and therefore a polar bear can never appear or travel, or be brought into those lands, because a dozen people in an entire continent might see them. Even though all of that may be true, Acacia's mother was in Belharan lands 50 years prior to game (Acacia is about 35, the virginal spinster), so this was a long time before current, and elves live hundreds of years. So, while I personally don't see why one (or two or even three) lone frost elves getting wanderlust (which is a thing) and traveling would break the lore of the world, I am not in charge (of pretty much anything, even whether a typo is corrected outside of the sex scenes I added).
I can offer reasons, and say that elves still living in the Heartlands is obviously reasonable and forcing frost elves to only travel farther north when they wander seems peculiar, or that Lumia exists and is pretty much the main deity of this section of the world, and her palace is right near the Winter City... and that her Valkyries travel the world fighting evil but also comforting mothers, aiding in hard births, even surrogating children and delivering them, and since frost elves even now make up 80%+ percent (number pulled out of ass, but probably close), frost elves are probably still seen(with at least more regularity than other godsworn), even accounting for their new wings or being 'old' Valkyries. So on that front, I don't really see that as an issue (but again, I am not in charge, nor is this me trying to bully anyone into it. Only that I could see believable ways to work it in).
There were other issues too, like the lust ritual/orgy that led to her conception, and the origin of it. Some of which I agree with, but I didn't see that as a rejection of the character. Or her mother being part of the druidic faction rather than the Lumians. I thought it added character (and was why Acacia couldn't get information or find her when she first arrived), but (at least some) people thought it didn't make sense. Again, this could be because not all information goes into the player-side of the doc.
There was another concern with her introduction, where rather than just clicking TALK and clicking (or not) on various topics, her story opened with a simple tour around Old Forest where she asked Champ to guide her (since it's much safer now) and let her investigate the herbs and fauna (since she's a dyer and interested in plants and herbs). The opening (which is like a mini-dungeon with potential combat) has no Bad Ends (you can lose a fight, but not Game Over, it just has branching paths and alternate story). One issue raised was, Why would Champ offer to help a stranger they just met and go alone with her? A fair question. I would say:
1. The entire premise of CoC 2 kind of hinges on the Champion at least having that characteristic, and that unlike that instance, which was clearly dangerous and involving kidnappers and a cult and combat, this was a simple tour around an area the Champ will have been through multiple times (yes, with some risk, which is why a guide was needed, but not definite threats).
2. As a vehicle to share her story in an organic way that wasn't 'click Talk, choose 1, choose 2, unlock 3, choose 3, click Sex, Have Sex'. (Luma wanted her to be more romance and relationship than 'Hi!, click [Sex?]' and, while I think it's a bit too much work (an opinion I shared), with the requirement of Shearing, then a Date, then becoming her mate/boyfriend/girlfriend, and then opening it. That's just my own opinion (even if it's right 100% of the time). I was hoping others would share their thoughts on it and a good middle ground based on feedback could occur (even in the unlikely case people loved all the hoops). It's not my place to change them, just share my thoughts and then make those hoops as sparkly and error free as possible, not set them ablaze.
3. Because with companions, there are reasonable expectations or places where one or more might have a comment. Naturally we can do what some writers do and just ignore that and pretend they're invisible until combat, but I cannot in good faith just ignore Ryn commenting on an elven sigil or Arona commenting on the appearance of slausaid. I think I covered it pretty well with the companion comments as the party is dismissed, to show it was a consideration.
4. Because it's an intro 'tutorial-like' dungeon with a pack of Wolves and (potentially) some Effigies. It's not meant to require a group, and if you do lose, it's just alternate story. This isn't a case of it being a trick, where some bad guy is trying to get Champ alone, and halfway through they're like, "Haha! You fell into my trap! You're so stupid! Why would you come out here alone with me!" and it's like, "My Champ wouldn't do that." It is what it's presented as, and in that context, the player knows it and did choose to do it (and there's a bolded alert to that fact, and a tooltip that says you're dismissing your party).
Someone might say it seems like a lot of work just to have an NPC with three sex scenes, and that's fair. But between us, she has about 6 or 7 sex scenes. There's a page count limit to a submission and Gardeford very generously gave Luma 100 pages with a dungeon (not the intro tour, that dungeon was her quest finale where you find her mother and face the sect of Belharan nobles tracking her and their (evil source of power MacGuffin entity) to flesh her and her story out to see if she had merit. So for space reasons, only the introduction scene and Talking (which I admit is a lot), and three sex scenes were included. I am going to ask Luma to put the Sex scenes in their own doc and post them here, but I think he's planning to cannibalize some of them for something else. I can certainly share the stuff I worked on, but this isn't my forum hub (and I cannot submit Acacia myself), Luma can post those scenes.
Acacia does have lots of sex content, I (for what it's worth) think she has potential, but since her scenes rather hinge on her being half-boreal (with cool skin and frigid, chilling fem-cum and a frosty aura, I think that's the main thing that will get her scrapped, since that would require a lot of scene rewriting. Does that suck or seem discouraging, yes, but that's the nature of writing sometimes and nothing was promised, nor has anyone done anything wrong.
Maybe we'll get all her scenes just for casual, entertainment reading, but I hope he just adjusts the parts that were addressed, since those can be done with discussion and help from people here. Only if her actual physiology and biology were flat-out rejected would it require a total ground up rewrite. Just posting this because I was asked and sometimes the right words aren't always available.
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