Jus Sanguinis [RPG][WIP]

[BenLawrence]

Hey!

I'm an artist by trade (not strictly speaking, since I work retail), but I'm trying my hand at making a 2D video game. I have a guy programming for me, so that part is covered, and I can write a little here and there.

LATEST PUBLIC DEMO: Jus Sanguinis Alpha 3 (exe) / Jus Sanguinis Alpha 3 (jar)

Controls:
W/Up -> Walk North
S/Down -> Walk South
A/Left -> Walk West
D/Right -> Walk East
Space -> Attack / Struggle / Get Up
Q -> Block
R -> Pick up item
E -> Activate object
I -> Inventory

The game world itself is going to be on a grid like the 2D Zelda games for Gameboy (you walk on the grid right now, but that may change to free-walking like those Zelda games), and the gameplay will all be live action (not turn-based).

You play Shara, the girl on the left, as she levels up her skills and gets better equipment, makes a name for herself, and battles through the main quest line. I want the game to be pretty open-world, where you can free-roam and take on various quests, and I'm making it so that the different stories going on during the game are all happening on their own time rather than waiting for you.

Here's what Shara looks like in the game at this point:

I played a few games where your choices drastically alter the way that the quests develop and even impact the game world, and that's what I'm going for more than anything.

Jus Sanguinis will include lots of 'special' content, listed below. Bolded ones are major focuses of the game.

(NOTE: These will change as I develop the game and get feedback from supporters on the direction of the game.)
- Pregnancy
- Impregnation
- Reluctance
- Ryona
- Lactation
- Mind Control
- Monsters
- Transformation
- Magic
- Bukkake
- Groups
- Virginity
- Incest
- Pairings: M/F, F/F, M/M, F/M/F, H/F

The game is going to be free for anyone to play, available for download on my blog. The game's somewhat playable right now, but I'm working to make it a lot better, so there are new features being added all the time

Blog:
Jus Sanguinis, the Game

If you have any questions or suggestions, I'm all ears!

 

[DaviceMathews]

Decent writing but the movement often glitches and you have to stop moving every time you turn. Is there only about 1 minute worth of moving around? First time you have a imp on the map if you go to the cabin and  go through the door you are sent back to the first area and cannot leave it and if you go to the space in the trees it stops you and pressing E to activate just shuts the program down. If that is the end of the demo you might want to have a end of demo screen instead.

Should say that the writing was erotic, there is just not enough of it to really give much beyond decent.

 

[Obscure]

Have you heard of the writing concept of "show don't tell?"

For example you tell us the protagonists mother is a whore in the initial info dump.  Why?  Why would you do that?  That is the job of nearly every friendly NPC in her home village.  What are they going to talk about now?

The next problem is too much text.  How many times do you have to click 'next' to get to the first bit of game play?  I don't know the answer, but it was a lot.  For CoC you only have to click 'next' 4 times.  And CoC is a text based game.

As for the game play...  eh.

My advice is to take this down, put some actual work into it and don't come back until you have something you actually want to show.

 

[DaviceMathews]

Have you heard of the writing concept of "show don't tell?"

For example you tell us the protagonists mother is a whore in the initial info dump.  Why?  Why would you do that?  That is the job of nearly every friendly NPC in her home village.  What are they going to talk about now?

The next problem is too much text.  How many times do you have to click 'next' to get to the first bit of game play?  I don't know the answer, but it was a lot.  For CoC you only have to click 'next' 4 times.  And CoC is a text based game.

As for the game play...  eh.

My advice is to take this down, put some actual work into it and don't come back until you have something you actually want to show.

....you know instead of being insulting and unhelpful you could have instead just said that he should condense the text so that you do not have to click next so often and then given the problems you had with the game play. Its called a demo for a reason did you really expect nothing to be seriously wrong with a work in progress build?

 

[TheDarkMaster]

Have you heard of the writing concept of "show don't tell?"

For example you tell us the protagonists mother is a whore in the initial info dump.  Why?  Why would you do that?  That is the job of nearly every friendly NPC in her home village.  What are they going to talk about now?

The next problem is too much text.  How many times do you have to click 'next' to get to the first bit of game play?  I don't know the answer, but it was a lot.  For CoC you only have to click 'next' 4 times.  And CoC is a text based game.

As for the game play...  eh.

My advice is to take this down, put some actual work into it and don't come back until you have something you actually want to show.

Good feedback, poor presentation.  You should try to avoid putting people on the defensive when you give feedback, they'll appreciate what you have to say a lot more then.  It also makes people much more open to your suggestions, rather than wanting to defend themselves or fight back against perfectly reasonable suggestions.
 

That being said, telling someone to take what they have done is not a reasonable suggestion.  Especially when nothing is lost by simply releasing a new version when it's ready.

 

[Obscure]

....you know instead of being insulting and unhelpful you could have instead just said that he should condense the text so that you do not have to click next so often and then given the problems you had with the game play. Its called a demo for a reason did you really expect nothing to be seriously wrong with a work in progress build?

I don't think condensing the text is the way to go.

I think the text needs to be chopped up and moved into other parts of the game.  That is why I recommended that.

That isn't a demo.  A demo is a polished and completed section of the finished project.  The only thing that is allowed to be seriously wrong in a demo is it's brevity.

Good feedback, poor presentation.  You should try to avoid putting people on the defensive when you give feedback, they'll appreciate what you have to say a lot more then.  It also makes people much more open to your suggestions, rather than wanting to defend themselves or fight back against perfectly reasonable suggestions.
 

That being said, telling someone to take what they have done is not a reasonable suggestion.  Especially when nothing is lost by simply releasing a new version when it's ready.

This individual is releasing a piece of media that they have created onto the internet.  If they cannot handle my criticism then they cannot handle the thousands of jackals that will descend upon them over the next year.

First impressions matter.  I believe that throwing a project out into the world this early hurts it's long term success.

 

[Ethereal Dragon]

I don't think condensing the text is the way to go.

I think the text needs to be chopped up and moved into other parts of the game.  That is why I recommended that.

That isn't a demo.  A demo is a polished and completed section of the finished project.  The only thing that is allowed to be seriously wrong in a demo is it's brevity.

This individual is releasing a piece of media that they have created onto the internet.  If they cannot handle my criticism then they cannot handle the thousands of jackals that will descend upon them over the next year.

First impressions matter.  I believe that throwing a project out into the world this early hurts it's long term success.

fact of the matter is and people are being nice about it but I'll be blunt, your presentation of how things are makes you look like a jackass. You can give criticism without being a total ass about it. Developers need help in developing their game, they need people to test them, run it through it's paces, point things out that needs fixing or improving. I've been around a lot of communities that support people making games and very few if any of the people looking into projects turn around and tell that developer that their work is complete crap and needs to be tossed. That is like telling someone their hard work of blood, sweat and tears amounts to nothing. An in general the few people who do this usually end up being ignored. There's constructive feed back and criticism and then there's the type of criticism and feed back that is just sickening and not helpful at all. The way you presented your post makes you seem like the latter.

 

[BenLawrence]

Hey everyone, I wanted to start off by saying that I really appreciate the responses and suggestions.  Though some of you were certainly more harsh than others, there's a lot of truth to all the criticisms.

I've never made a game before, as you can tell by how many mistakes I've made, first off by calling what I now realize is called an alpha version and NOT a demo.  I'm sorry for that very confusing misunderstanding, and I probably should have looked up the term before using it xD   After some research, this is definitely ALPHA #3.

I'll definitely look into condensing the text, and I'm drawing pictures to go with the text (if that helps).  I'm definitely not a writer, but I'm happy that that's one of the few things that people seem to generally like about the game at this stage.  Oh, the movement system has been overhauled.  It was supposed to be more like Zelda, but there was a miscommunication and it was kind of...bad.

My blog has updates about some new things that I've put into the game, and I'll keep updating it and making it better, because I love to draw and making a game is a really fun experience for me.  I know that it's not even really playable right now, but it'll get there.  For those of you who don't want to try it and give me feedback at this stage, you'll hopefully keep an eye on it until then  

Long-term 'success' might not be best served by my approach, but finishing this game is success to me, and that's about knowing where I'm going and keeping on going until I get there.

 

[jindary]

The game has potential. I hope more people comment on the game then on other comments.  I liked that there was a tentacle scene, but sad it was a bad end. Cant wait to see how the game develops over time.

 

[BenLawrence]

The game has potential. I hope more people comment on the game then on other comments.  I liked that there was a tentacle scene, but sad it was a bad end. Cant wait to see how the game develops over time.

Thanks

Everything is basically a bad end right now, but that'll change really soon.  I'm challenging myself to put in some new content every day, so we'll see how that goes xD

 

[daprgast]

I agree that the game has potential - I'm curious to see where you go with it.  For a first game, it's definitely not bad. It sounds like you have some very lofty goals for the story/game world... possibly too lofty for a first game (hope I'm not a downer!).  Branching and persistent stories are pretty difficult to manage, and can get overwhelming fast.  This is just my take, obviously, but I would recommend focusing on making a few quick little projects to help learn the process of design and development before taking on a huge, complicated project.  Again, just my thoughts - take it or leave it.