[IMPLEMENTED] Lyla, The Wanderer Knight

[Fleep]

Okaaaaay so, I've finally decided to write something for the game. It is still not much and It will go slow (but steady), since english is not my first language (which makes it 20% writing 60% making sure grammar is ok, 20% checking vocabulary and 10% concentrated power of will), and I will only be able to write during my free time, which is not much. Still I'm very excited about it (as I guess everyone else is when starting), and I plan to work on it to the very end.

Here is what I already have. As said, it ain't much in words, but it is quite a chunk in worktime. Feel free to give any feedback (will be appreciated)

Google doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1X5qco59UNrOkvAf9wudXgeGghcEHA8srQSOsWdhLNSE/edit?usp=sharing

It is about a wanderer knight. A human woman who came from affar leading a knight squad to chase a dangerous criminal who fleed from their land. That was until the night they were attacked by demons. She got lost that night and now thinks of her companions as dead, and the mission failed.

Also that night she got a dick. Yes. She is a futa now.


Edit: I've been writting all week and feel like she is ready for submission I'll give it a copule of readings, looking for mistakes and will submit it (this monday probably)

 

[Rear Admiral Chimera]

You may want to change her having access to steel considering steel smithing is a forgotten trade. Savarra's current technology state is mentioned as being similar to the Bronze Age due to the fall of the Belharan Empire (Lusina's steel claymore is considered one of the most advanced weapons and one of the few remaining relics of the previous era).

Also it is strange the spellcheck seems to not have smithing and claymore in its vocabulary.

 

[Fleep]

You may want to change her having access to steel considering steel smithing is a forgotten trade. Savarra's current technology state is mentioned as being similar to the Bronze Age due to the fall of the Belharan Empire (Lusina's steel claymore is considered one of the most advanced weapons and one of the few remaining relics of the previous era).

Also it is strange the spellcheck seems to not have smithing and claymore in its vocabulary.

Thanks for the reply RAC! I'll keep it in mind. For now I'll let the steel because I think it gives a better sense of her armor (also adding the fact that it's and old one, full of dents and mistreated by time), but I'll try not to use it much, so it can be easily changed if they say it can definitely not be steel. If they let steel work, I may add a "talk" option asking about it and her saying it is an old heirloom.

 

[The Observer]

Steel is verboten.

Also looks very similar to Eryka.

 

[Fleep]

Steel is verboten.

Also looks very similar to Eryka.

Okay, omw to change it. Iron then?

When you say she looks similar you mean in appearance, in concept, both...?

(Thanks for taking the time to read it btw )

 

[The Observer]

Do copper or bronze.

 

[Zawarado]

I think she looks fairly good so far. As for "Kas's Night", if you're meaning the night Kas stepped through the portal, there wouldn't be any other demons out in the world yet to fuck her and her company up.

And if Kas is the one who gave her the penis, that is very reminiscent of Eryka, which Tobs mentioned. Eryka is a Paladin of Velun(one of the Seven Gods) while your character Lyra is a Knight that isn't religous at all from the bit we've seen so far.

Eryka also recently got an update submitted, so if you're worried of people thinking her and Lyra might be to samey(Which I don't personally, they look very different and Lyra seems way less openly friendly)I would reccomended reading up on her for some insight.

Oh, and her not wanting to really tell where she's from? Is that your way of keeping it up in the air before you decide concrete where she's from? Or is she just a bit paranoid?

 

[Fleep]

I think she looks fairly good so far. As for "Kas's Night", if you're meaning the night Kas stepped through the portal, there wouldn't be any other demons out in the world yet to fuck her and her company up.

And if Kas is the one who gave her the penis, that is very reminiscent of Eryka, which Tobs mentioned. Eryka is a Paladin of Velun(one of the Seven Gods) while your character Lyra is a Knight that isn't religous at all from the bit we've seen so far.

Eryka also recently got an update submitted, so if you're worried of people thinking her and Lyra might be to samey(Which I don't personally, they look very different and Lyra seems way less openly friendly)I would reccomended reading up on her for some insight.

Oh, and her not wanting to really tell where she's from? Is that your way of keeping it up in the air before you decide concrete where she's from? Or is she just a bit paranoid?

Thanks for you comment Zawarado! (Is it a madafakin Jojo reference) When saying "Kas's night" I was thinking more about the one in the Winter City, when there are already plenty of demons going around.

I see how someone could think Eryka and Lyla are similar (both being knights mainly and having a cock given by Kasyrra) but, "Kasyrra" was the only way I could think of giving her a cock, and thinking that Evelyn got hers the same way I didn't think it would be a problem. Still I would take a look at Eryka expansion, just to be sure.

About her not wanting to say where she is from, well, it is mainly to not keep it up in the air and not get in trouble with Content Creators about "she can't be from that place or that other one". Keeping it a secret makes it way easier jeje.

 

[Zawarado]

And to be clear, I think there is plenty of differences between the two. Eryka having gotten her cock in the same way as Lyra's just reinforces established "rules of the world," which is awesome.

Ah ok, so this unlocks after the Winter City. That's cool. Where do you imagine Lyra being placed as an encounter??

And as a suggestion, being a Knight that is seeking to inforce a law against an actual criminal, I believe it would make a ton of sense for her to be from the remnants of the Belharen Empire.

From the wiki "The empire is a fading dream now, nothing but a collection of petty kingdoms still clinging to their tattered banners a thousand miles from the Marches. Their influence has not been felt this far north in a generation. Belhar itself still exists as a rump state in the continental heartlands, but its inhabitants crawl amongst the ruins of their former civilisation, its past glories lost to myth and legend."

From what I have heard from here so far, I think it would fit very well. But of course, you do you, I'm liking it thus far anyway.

 

[Fleep]

And to be clear, I think there is plenty of differences between the two. Eryka having gotten her cock in the same way as Lyra's just reinforces established "rules of the world," which is awesome.

Ah ok, so this unlocks after the Winter City. That's cool. Where do you imagine Lyra being placed as an encounter??

And as a suggestion, being a Knight that is seeking to inforce a law against an actual criminal, I believe it would make a ton of sense for her to be from the remnants of the Belharen Empire.

From the wiki "The empire is a fading dream now, nothing but a collection of petty kingdoms still clinging to their tattered banners a thousand miles from the Marches. Their influence has not been felt this far north in a generation. Belhar itself still exists as a rump state in the continental heartlands, but its inhabitants crawl amongst the ruins of their former civilisation, its past glories lost to myth and legend."

From what I have heard from here so far, I think it would fit very well. But of course, you do you, I'm liking it thus far anyway.

I actually think the Belhar empire sound great for her, thank you for the suggestion. I think it could be revealed further down the line (if things go well).

About where the encounter can take place, I was thinking the Old Forest, but maybe that region already has too many events, and I'm open to change the location anywhere really.

(I'm very glad you are liking it. It's encouraging to get such a good feedback from that early )

 

[Zawarado]

I actually think the Belhar empire sound great for her, thank you for the suggestion. I think it could be revealed further down the line (if things go well).

About where the encounter can take place, I was thinking the Old Forest, but maybe that region already has too many events, and I'm open to change the location anywhere really.

(I'm very glad you are liking it. It's encouraging to get such a good feedback from that early )

Her being dominant is a total plus for me personally, sounds like her getting a cock was a gift. As for where to encounter her, if my knowledge of the geography is correct, Harvest Valley is the furthest south we can go, but further south for those "thousands of miles" would be the Belar Heartlands. So maybe Harvest Valley?

She could have gotten trapped on the southern most portion of the Valley, and when you defeat the Goblin Cultist and co. that are defending the only path out or purify the Centaur Village so they repair their bridge, she can come to Hawthorne? When/if that's something you're planning to do later on of course

 

[Fleep]

Her being dominant is a total plus for me personally, sounds like her getting a cock was a gift. As for where to encounter her, if my knowledge of the geography is correct, Harvest Valley is the furthest south we can go, but further south for those "thousands of miles" would be the Belar Heartlands. So maybe there?

She could have gotten trapped on the southern most portion of the Valley, and when you defeat the Goblin Cultist and co. that are defending the only path out or purify the Centaur Village so they repair their bridge, she can come to Hawthorne? When/if that's something you're planning to do later on of course

Actually, her coming to Hawkethorne is something for the far future. My plan is to first present her with enough content she could be left like that, and then if I see enough support and have enough free time, I would like to embark into the hard task of creating a mission, to find some of her partners (who are probably turned into demons) and only after that she could move to Hawkethrone.

 

[Hopeless]

Actually, her coming to Hawkethorne is something for the far future. My plan is to first present her with enough content she could be left like that, and then if I see enough support and have enough free time, I would like to embark into the hard task of creating a mission, to find some of her partners (who are probably turned into demons) and only after that she could move to Hawkethrone.

So kinda like Azzyran where before moving “home” (to a base) she had her own tile right? Sounds pretty cool. Good luck with your submission.

 

[Zawarado]

Oh hey another question? Will she be able to knock the player up? There are still no human babies in the game!</3

 

[Fleep]

So kinda like Azzyran where before moving “home” (to a base) she had her own tile right? Sounds pretty cool. Good luck with your submission.

Yes, just like that. Thanks for your support!!

Oh hey another question? Will she be able to knock the player up? There are still no human babies in the game!</3

I hadn't thought about that tbh, but I think it's a possibility. Not on the priority list, but a likely possibility.

 

[Fleep]

As said in the updated title, Lyla is, more or less ready for submission (It was literally 24h of full work, I would like to thank the insomnio which pushed me to start writing this). I need feedback, mostly about the parsers, but I would also like to know what you guys think about the content (the sex scenes, the character, some grammar mistakes you can find, anything needed improvement...). Thanks in advance for your time!

PD; I won't submitt it after 24 of no sleep. It still needs to settle for a bit and a bit of correction reading. But it should be done in a couple of days.

 

[Balaknightfang]

On a quick glance: You should look at fixing some of the formatting by setting up headings. As such, I highly recommend taking a look at a few of the other docs lying around to get a better understanding on that front.

 

[Fleep]

On a quick glance: You should look at fixing some of the formatting by setting up headings. As such, I highly recommend taking a look at a few of the other docs lying around to get a better understanding on that front.

Thanks for the feedback! You were right, but I think looking at Sugo's google doc I managed to make it more comprehensible, using different levels of headlines and such.

 

[Fleep]

So Lyla just got implemented! I'm very happy about it and want to thank all of you who have helped me make this possible, including but not limited to: Balak for helping me with the formating (the man made the whole index himself), Tobs for pointing out the issues with my style so I could work on it, ZaWarado for his encouraging words and Savin for his wholesome (and inspiring) review.

Now I'm off to write some more content for the lady knight!

 

[Alypia]

Congratulations, Fleep! This is awesome

 

[SSam]

Great job, very fun encounter and sex scenes! Are there any plans to add sparing to her like with Azyrran?

 

[Fleep]

Great job, very fun encounter and sex scenes! Are there any plans to add sparing to her like with Azyrran?

Thanks, I'm glad you like her! About the sparring, I gotta admit I want to do it in the future. I want to write a combat against her in case you go to her camp being a corrupted demon, so I may as well add the sparring option. Still, I don't have any experience writing encounters so I want to write more sex and talk scenes before diving into all that weird math needed for the fight.