The Jan thing felt like it was missing a payoff or some retribution. Something like her getting thrown out of the party because she tried to start shit again by trying to hook up the bride with her brother-in-law and hook up the groom with the maid of honor. In another vein, hint at a redemption of her character for future ex-pacs and make that her planned story arc.
Also, in a galaxy where over-the-counter mods exist, it's kinda weird to see only the basic races. I imagine my 7'6" Amazonian Treated Half-Kui-Tan slow dancing with Tess among a sea of normal humans and ausar.
Throw and odd mention here and there of the types of people you'd see in this space age galaxy. For example, have the bar be catered by Kally's bar! Kally working the drinks as the bartender and Del bouncing around in a slightly less skimpy outfit offering hors d'oeuvres. Kally using Kaede for shipping all these crates of champagne and kegs of Kally's "creamy" and standard alcoholic brews. Kaede's just hanging out at the bar until they reload the junk and she can ship it back to New Canada. Don't necessarily have to write dialogue for them, just *You wave.* and *They wave back.*
Just something to bring the fantastical elements of TITS in.
I mean, none of that really makes sense though. These people come from a small Outpost where body customization and mods likely weren't a thing. Tessa was likely the oddest thing there. Even then, sure their outpost possibly became sufficiently advanced but people aren't actually that heavily modified even In the rush. People like Steele are an oddity. If I can point to Sera as an example, heavy body modifications are fucking expensive, and honestly unnecessary in most cases, you're just used to seeing them because people write interesting people to fuck. The majority of the people you walk by are likely only lightly modded at most.
The reason it's pretty much all ausar and humans is because that's who the bride and groom would have known growing up, it was a combined human ausar colony. Steele is meant to stand out, that's why Tessa brings them. Also this is a wedding, invite only. Kaede wouldn't be there because how the hell would she know either the bride or groom? Same goes for kally and her catering the wedding. No offense to her but her establishment doesn't really seem the type to fit a wedding, and I doubt she knows either of them as well.
This scene is about Tessa, learning more about her and forming a more intimate relationship with her (even though that's likely not what she planned). In that regard it worked flawlessly in my opinion, but crossovers like you mentioned don't serve a purpose here.
Edit: also in terms of Jen, sure we don't have an immediate payoff like her getting thrown out, but I feel the point is to introduce her as a problem later down the line. Be patient, I'm sure fr0sty has a plan for her.
