Ejacu-Latte~!

[ThunderLizardsRule]

Very minor item addition that I would love to see in the game solely because of the name. I'm kinda shocked I haven't seen this yet. If someone has already suggested this, my apologies. Actually, wait, let's search real quick.... Nope! Alright, awesome. ^_^

(WIP) Description:
The bottle has a picture of an angry looking, green eyed, grey squirrel and a tag line that reads:
This foamy coffee drink is not for credit pinchers or those not wanting to make a mess in the bedroom.
Gives [some form of endurance increase, like +10 every round of combat] for your next encounter.
Gives +50% increase in cum volume. [Not sure what stat this would be. Capacity? Current Internal? That one might be it actually.]

Possible additional items:
Iced Ejacu-Latte: An Iced Teats exclusive, this cold, caffeinated beverage uses Iced Teats' famous ice-cream to create the perfect drink on a warm New Texas day. [+5 energy per round, +75% cum volume?]

Not really sure who should sell this... It's not alcohol, so it doesn't have a place in bars. Maybe Nayna can offer one to the player once a day? It seems like the kind of thing she would drink.

Anyway, that's my idea. Main bit is the name. Feel free to tell me how terrible it is. I read the pinned topics. :C

 

[Draconoid]

an angry looking, green eyed, grey squirrel

All hail the lord and master.
Edit: Completely forgot to mention I'm working on a squirrel/rodent TF and an NPC that would totally drink this stuff, and sell the TF. If you're looking for a backup shop

 

[ThunderLizardsRule]

Sounds good to me. And I'm glad someone else remembers Foamy. :3

 

[Lkynmbr24]

I kinda have an idea for a transformative item for this actually to make the PC's cum coffee latte flavored by this name sake. I'd love for it to be a thing in that way! xD If you didn't want to write that yourself, I'd love to make an item like this xD

 

[ThunderLizardsRule]

Go for it! I was actually thinking about that very thing, but laziness and a lack of free time prevailed.

 

[Draconoid]

So many possibilities! Cum-puccino! Creamy Please! (Served on a bagel, of course) Macchi-ya-tasty! Es-breast-o! Cremeola! Snore-over! Ris-teste-tto! Cafe-au-Laid! The E-Caffi-lator! Sumatra Cream, by Jejune! Boob-rista! Roast Boast! French, um, dress. Clearly time to quit, Ejacu-Latte beats all these.

Can already see a gothic card cult-themed coffee shop called Neurotic Exotics or The Insomniac's Cognac in my non-french-fry-occupied eye...

 

[General Drayfox]

ALL HAIL PUN TF ITEMS,!

 

[Lkynmbr24]

Go for it! I was actually thinking about that very thing, but laziness and a lack of free time prevailed.

Thanks for the permission! I'll likely start on that soon as I finish editing my main project!

 

[ThunderLizardsRule]

Awesome. So stoked I'm contributing to TiTS if only in a small way. ^_^

If I think of another punny item I'll add it to this topic.

Is there something in this game that generates jokes like that cold beer making robot in Fallout 4?

 

[Draconoid]

Is there something in this game that generates jokes like that cold beer making robot in Fallout 4?

Colenso sells a joke book, but I don't recall seeing any puns in there.

 

[ThunderLizardsRule]

What do you call an otter with a great rack? A MOOSE-telid.

 

[JDeko]

whipped cream cum when?

 

[Lkynmbr24]

whipped cream cum when?

I prefer whipped cream teat milk. They already have the squeezable bag, so why not?

That could go well with ejacu-latte tho xD

 

[Draconoid]

whipped cream cum when?

So I was gonna do a little off-the-cuff writing based on this, but, um...couldn't get bagels outta my head.
This is meant to be a joke, but I'll finish it if there's actual interest.

Spoiler: why did i write this

Spoiler: Cream Cheese Frosting Cum On A Bagel

[Item} Creamy Please

Location: Sold by The Insomniac’s Cognac’s barista, Totally-Not-Germaine

Cost: Same as Sweet Treat (740 credits?)

Store Description: Half a bagel spread with a sweet, dense, extra-thick cream cheese frosting loaded with gene-targeting nanobots.

Tooltip Name: CheezyCreamy/ChzyCrmy

Tooltip Description: Not for the faint of gut or nut, this unassuming bagel sits rather blandly among the prouder pastry offerings on display. It must be popular, somehow, given there’s only one left.

Max Stack: 1



Eat the damn thing!

Savoring the satisfying yeasty aroma this fresh bagel gives off, you dive right in for a big ol’ bite, immediately regretting your decision to take so much of the cloying, rich and unexpectedly dense blanket of sweet cream cheese. It’s more like eating straight frosting off a red velvet cupcake than the savory cream cheese you’re familiar with. Taking your time {PC bought coffee before bagel: and alternating sips of earthy java with smaller nibbles to keep from getting sick}, you slow down and enjoy the decadent breadstuff whilst taking in a quick rerun of a vintage cartoon. The caustic sarcasm and acerbic wit of the show seems to cut the treacly sweetness, and by the time the short is concluded, so is your meal. (15 minutes go by)



{Has cock: Settling in for another episode, the growing pressure in your {has balls: pc.balls // else: pelvis} passes your notice until the first belly laugh pushes your core muscles against it. Alarmed, you prod and paw at your gut{wearing clothes: removing your pc.bottoms {and pc.underwear} to gain access}, attempting to gently locate the blockage without causing irreparable damage. Finding nothing, you suppose there’s nothing for it but to await the pending results of your transformation…which comes sooner than you would’ve guessed, beginning with an impossible-to-ignore surge of heat from the core of the tension within you and culminating in an erection rivaling the density of a hardtack biscuit and from what you can tell, filled to the tip like a living profiterole. Strangely, {big cum output: far from the pants-staining drip you’re used to,} not a single bead of precum has spilled from your tip.



Instead, the pressure seems to almost force what feels and looks like a thick, unbroken rope of the same dense cream-cheese frosting from your straining prickhole. The first strands break apart in chunks, as if they were slightly too hard or dry, but the rest soon flows in a deliciously viscous manner that strokes your arousal as much as your sensitive urethra. Slowly unwinding the tension in your core, you ooze a full sackload of sickeningly sweet cum all over the floor {something something exhibitionism}, catching the stinkeye from your barista across the room for the mess you’re making everywhere.

 

[ThunderLizardsRule]

I'm not sure if what I just read is arousing or disgusting. Certainly different.

 

[JDeko]

I want whipped cream cum mostly because of the "California Boys" R63 joke art of the Katy Perry song

 

[Draconoid]

I'm not sure if what I just read is arousing or disgusting. Certainly different.

Looking back I kinda wanna say the latter...it's been a weird day.