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- Thread starter Assassboi
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First off, 'Submitted' in this context means you've gone through the process of actually submitting something for review. This is clearly a work in progress. Second, you don't provide the right kind of information on how this scene is supposed to be accessed and what requirements there might be for it. I get from context that you want it to be another win scene after fighting her for Champs with a penis but you don't say all of that or provide the menu option or tooltip that should be added and all of that is your job, not the developers'. Take a look at some of strawberry_tea's implemented scenes for an idea what a submission for an additional scene should look more like.
Next, this thing is full of grammatical errors like missing capitalization, missing punctuation, run-on sentences and jarring word choices (seeing the words 'watching y'all' is going to take people right out of the scene). I'm not a parser wizard and haven't gone over them in-depth but some of these are definitely going to output double-spaces or run words together because you haven't formatted it properly. For example:
After that, a fundamental question that you should probably be asking yourself and the devs definitely will: What purpose does this scene serve other than to be a (badly written) alternative to the existing 'Fuck Asshole' option? Why should it be included, even if the grammar were polished up?
Lastly, you probably didn't try and ask SKoW if she was okay with you writing a scene for her character, did you? It's not a hard rule per-se but it's generally polite to check whether they're okay with this sort of thing first, and the more you want to do with someone else's character the more important it is.
Next, this thing is full of grammatical errors like missing capitalization, missing punctuation, run-on sentences and jarring word choices (seeing the words 'watching y'all' is going to take people right out of the scene). I'm not a parser wizard and haven't gone over them in-depth but some of these are definitely going to output double-spaces or run words together because you haven't formatted it properly. For example:
That first pipe is going to output nothing which means it would output as 'Grabbing your you'. Because you have spacing on both sides the third pipe is gong to output a double-space between 'cock' and 'you'.
After that, a fundamental question that you should probably be asking yourself and the devs definitely will: What purpose does this scene serve other than to be a (badly written) alternative to the existing 'Fuck Asshole' option? Why should it be included, even if the grammar were polished up?
Lastly, you probably didn't try and ask SKoW if she was okay with you writing a scene for her character, did you? It's not a hard rule per-se but it's generally polite to check whether they're okay with this sort of thing first, and the more you want to do with someone else's character the more important it is.
I think you should read more of English literature to get in tune with its grammar and sentence structure. Try to write for fun/as a hobby and see where that gets you. Maybe join writing club/online community.
Just to make sure there's no misunderstanding here, none of what I wrote was meant to be a personal attack. It was intended to point out some things that your doc is missing or your writing is lacking and that you should work on more if you want to try again. The best way to get better is to practice.
Hey, don't feel bad. It sucks that something you enjoyed writing didn't turn out - I didn't get a chance to read it, but I think there are places to post stuff if you just want to write but not submit things to the game itself.
I agree that its important to only accept high-quality and well polished material for COC2 - it's what makes the game (in my opinion) an almost unparalleled example of GOOD smut entertainment. But man I feel for you!! Nothing will kill your drive to write like what seems to have happened.
Just know that we feel for you, and no-one is telling you to quit altogether, just pointing out where the bar is set for stuff.
Buck up, dude!
I agree that its important to only accept high-quality and well polished material for COC2 - it's what makes the game (in my opinion) an almost unparalleled example of GOOD smut entertainment. But man I feel for you!! Nothing will kill your drive to write like what seems to have happened.
Just know that we feel for you, and no-one is telling you to quit altogether, just pointing out where the bar is set for stuff.
Buck up, dude!